Facing Hate Head On
My dad gave me advice a while after coming out, he told me that I will face hate, and people who will see me as lower than them. This was not news to me, as I have already been on the giving side of that for many years while closeted. I’m 6’2 240 pounds so I’ve never experienced harassment from anyone in person, or at least not to me. I was at a bar one time and saw a guy who was small in stature who could not have weighed more than 150 pounds getting harassed for how he was dressed and the way he carried himself. He was being called slur after slur, and after overhearing I realized that I had an opportunity to stick up for this helpless guy just trying to enjoy himself. I walked over to the guy harassing him, and told him “So you’re twice this mans size harassing him? You want to call him a f*ggot? Call me one. C’mon tough guy” This man clearly didn’t expect to be called out for something he’d assumably been getting away with for years. He could not stop stuttering over his words to find a response to get me off his back. It is amazing how fragile hateful people are when you back them in a corner. Eventually the guy huffed away, but the damage he had done to this young man was already done, and despite me intervening, he still felt the need to leave. I told him it is not okay to let people like that dictate your life and how you want to live. He was thankful but nonetheless left after the situation had ended.
      It is baffling to me how people can be so up in arms about how people show love to one another or express themselves but turn a blind eye to the hate they see spewed every day. They stipulate the legitimacy of someone else’s entire being while simultaneously tearing them down, it is a bizarre trait unfortunately only found in the human species. My first experience with being marginalized as a gay person just happened about two weeks ago. It was not from a random guy in a bar or on social media, but from within my family. You see my brother, my cousin, and I are graduating this year, and to celebrate we were going to my dads’ side of the family located in Indianapolis. I’ve grown up with them and have spent countless holidays, Indy 500’s with them, and countless other get togethers. My uncle, who is hosting the get together, decided to inform my family that me and my boyfriend were not welcome in his house. His newly reinvigorated Catholicism could not allow it. Upon the news of this my entire family decided to up and drop the entire trip all together, that they would not allow us to be left out because of something we had no control of. Nearly everyone in my family texted me to tell me their condolences for how hurt I must be, and how they do not agree with my uncle’s decision. I was upset at first understandably but then I realized that I was in much more pain as a closeted man, so with that I say good riddance. My family having my back means more to me than they will ever know and makes me hopeful for the future. Hopefully in the future we will see these hateful individuals dwindle and more of those who value love above anything else.




















