#comingout

Julius Hearst’s POV, March 1895

With classes done for the day, Julius was free to do whatever he wished. Normally, he would simply go to his dorm to get away from everyone and their energetic conversations about quidditch or the recent occurrences in the dueling club. He had plenty of books on alchemy he could read and experiments and theories he only wished he could try further. Yet his modest set up that he visited in the room of requirement would have to do in the meantime.

Today felt different though, he reflected as he made his way out into the courtyard. He gently closed his violet eyes as he felt the spring sun on his face. He knew he should enjoy the moment before the stress of exams started to kick in. Julius had seen that stress manifest plenty in the fifth years and seventh years as they frantically were studying for their OWLs and NEWTs as if their life depended on it. Though Julius supposed it did in a way.

Yet even with all of the quidditch events, dueling records broken, and the stress of exams, none of it hardly compared to talk spreading around the school about the upcoming dance to be held on the official first day of spring. He watched the men in his year, in addition to those in the upper years, ask the ladies out with so much ease it looked as simple to breathing to them. When he was alone he would try and go somewhere to look as his reflection and try and recite the declarations of love they did. Yet, each time, something about it all felt unnatural which puzzled him relentlessly. On top of that, he couldn’t even think of a single girl he could even attempt to ask to the dance even if he could finally get through the speech without clumsily stumbling over his own words.

“Julius?” A gentle voice called.

Julius was jerked out of his own mind and back into reality. He turned his head to see Gladys sitting on one of the benches in the courtyard with one of her textbooks open. Yet he could tell she had long since gotten bored of reading it with how the book was next to her on the bench rather than on her lap or actively in her hands. He assumed she had been hoping for something curious to occur in the courtyard to entertain her, even if it was something as troublesome as a horrid prank.

“You’re staring at nothing.” She observed as she motioned for him to sit him as she picked up her book, closed it, and placed it in her lap. “Come sit before you fall over.”

“Alright.” He obliged as he tried to figure out if Gladys was just joking or if he truly did look pale.

Once he sat down, Julius looked out into the courtyard and could fully understand why his sister enjoyed strolling around the grounds of Hogwarts in her spare time. It was a place that was rather peaceful even if the courtyard was full with people playing gobstones and energetically discussing a variety of topics. He smooth his breath and closed his eyes once again to remain calm and be present in this place.

“How have your classes been?” Gladys casually engaged in conversation.

“Fine I guess.” Julius shrugged before perking up as he began to discuss his favorite class, “Though Professor Sharp said he was going to teach us a new potion at the end of the week and discuss how its adjacent to the art of alchemy.”

Gladys smiled at that, “Well it’s good to see you haven’t been buried in the books like I have.”

“You only have one book?” He observed, glancing at the closed book on his sister’s lap.

“True.” Gladys noted, “Just stay away from my dormitory and you won’t need to know the truth of how many of these things I’ve read.” She then turned to Julius, “Something else does seem to be bothering you though.”

Julius sighed and buried his face in his hands, his sister did have a way of seeing through anyone with ease. “I think something is wrong with me.” He muttered but knew it was still clear enough for his sister to hear.

Rather than assuring Julius immediately, Gladys had a more curious and considerate response, “Why do you think that?”

“It’s with the spring dance approaching.” Julius explained, “Everyone else has seemed to easily find partners to go with except for me. My peers can ask out girls and court them as if it is as simple as breathing. Yet for me, I stumble over my own words just practicing what the others say to only my reflection.” He then turned away from his sister before continuing, “It’s odd though. In my dreams I see myself giving those speeches out with ease, but to gentlemen rather than ladies.” He then ran his hand down his face, “I probably sound like an idiot don’t I?”

“Of course not.” Gladys placed his hand onto his that surprised Julius causing him to look into her violet eyes that she shared with him, “You could never sound like an idiot, and believe me, I’ve heard plenty of idiots.”

Julius chuckled lightly at that and as a way to try and convince himself Gladys wasn’t dragging him along, “but it’s unnatural isn’t it? Shouldn’t I just be like the others? Be normal?”

“I believe that to be quite overrated.” Gladys stated, “High society has a lot of foolish and outdated beliefs. Just because others have followed them doesn’t mean you have to, and it certainly doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. Now, I’ll be frank with you, society would most certainly call it improper, but it foolishly defines a number of things as improper.” She then smiled at him, “Your already being brave with opening up about this and I’ll be there for you regardless of what happens, and you will be even more so if you decide to follow what your heart and mind is telling you is right for you. After all, it’s your life.”

“Still.” Julius interjected, “It would be a problem wouldn’t it? For the family.”

Gladys looked down and was silent for seemingly forever, “Yes.” She said in a volume barely above a whisper, “For the family it would be, you know how our father is about tradition just as well as I do.”

Julius looked off to the side as he sighed, “I figured that would be the case.”

“But it isn’t necessarily a problem for the entire family.” Gladys reminded him as she placed a hand on his. “And you’ll find the people who will support you, take advantage of the flexibility of your position in the family to be yourself.”

The wording puzzled him, “What do you mean by position in the family?” He asked with a raised eyebrow and a puzzled expression.

Gladys sighed, “There is something I have not told anyone, but I suppose now is as good as any time to change it.”

“What is it?” Julius repeated his initial question.

“I understand you.” She began, “In a way at least, about how romantic inclinations you have don’t feel proper. Except in my case from what I have come to make sense of it, is that my affections aren’t limited to just the gentlemen.”

“Really?” Julius remarked his eyebrows in surprise as he glanced down at the engagement ring on her finger, “But aren’t you with Crandall?”

“Yes, and that’s exactly why those affections I have been feeling don’t matter in my case.” She revealed.

“Why is that?” Julius pressed curiously.

“It is just how our family is.” Gladys shrugged, “You and Phineas have a bit more freedom with your romantic partners than I, Cyrus, and Atticus do. Haven’t you noticed that unlike you and Phineas, our parents swiftly put us all into arranged matches? Atticus is the heir, Cyrus is the spare, and I’m the only daughter. And, as someone in my position, our parents only see me as a way to form connections with another pure blood family through marriage. Crandall, is who they have decreed is a suitable match for me, and I am in no position to argue with them.”

“Do you even like him?” Julius asked.

Gladys pondered that for a while, “He’s a nice man, and there are certainly worse people I could have been promised to. While I don’t think I could ever love anyone our parents push my way, I can at least do my best to respect them.”

“That’s not fair.” Julius founded himself deciding, “Even if you must marry a pure blood man it’s only proper you have a choice in which one you marry.”

“It’s not that simple.” Gladys regretfully informed him, “Atticus and Griselda were lucky enough to already be in good terms with shared passions, and with how many girls fawn over Cyrus I doubt he objected to harshly when Tabitha was promised to him. None of us had a choice in who, but it is our duty to follow what has been set out for us. So please.” Gladys insisted, “Do what I cannot do and follow your heart. And regardless of what happens because of that, I will always be there for you.”

“Alright.” Julius promised, he then looked more carefully at his sister,

“You won’t tell anyone about what I told you, right?”

“Of course not.” Gladys vowed, “That is your news to share, not mine. And besides, I trust you with my secret.”

Relief flooded through his body as he smiled more comfortably, “Thank you.” He then gazed up at the endless sky, “I just wish it was all different, for you especially.”