rain that makes the flowers bloom, you know

this is, no shit, some of the best advice i have ever heard.

I adore rick riordan but if anyone still has doubt on how he can have such big potholes in his stories, let me remind you that this man was originally going to title the Lightning Thief “The Son of Poseidon” and it was his middle school class that pointed out that if he named it that that the “mysterious and unknown identity” of Percy’s godly heritage would no longer be mysterious and unknown and rick was like “oh, yeah.” 

Me as a writer

Psychic: reads my mind My mind: waelcome to my kitchennnnnn…. We have bananis…… And avocadi

thug life? more like hug life. come here

horror movie where the ‘final girl’, your brainy-but-practical, sexy-but-not-too-sexy white christian brunette who knows how to handle herself (except doesn’t take it too far and actually challenge white heteropatriarchal norms) is killed within the first twenty minutes because the villain wants to kill the ‘competent’ one while she’s not expecting anything and therefore the remaining 60 minutes is butch-bimbo solidarity hour between all the weird girls, lesbians, and sluts who are usually killed first

It Is Wintertime

me: *watches criminal minds for 9 hours* anything: *makes a noise* me: I’m looking for a white male between the ages of 25-45 probably a loner probably most definitely hates women probably drives a red late model dodge truck probably lives alone his moms name is Helen and his favorite color skittles are the red ones

i have this unnerving fear that i’m gonna meet keanu reeves in some tight elevator and his eyes are going to burn into my soul as he tells me the secrets of this universe then bites me on the neck to give me immortality so he’s not alone anymore

Keanu if you’re listening I’m not a little bitch like OP come get a taste