Shut up, Computer. @semihalfcousin - Tumblr Blog

there are RPers who have drafts piling up and then there's me

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latefrequencies

Urgent inquiry.

You know those Tumblr humor valentines?

Are there any for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?

semihalfcousin

i got ur back covered man

#thewordsmithy #ooc #out of cocktails

an apology for being inactive

#i also said i didnt like nsfw but middle school 69 crap is basically my entire existence so thats fine #ooc #out of cocktails

nipsus

im secretly zaphod beeblebrox’s second head shh dont tell

semihalfcousin

dude ur hogging our bandwidth

#woopedydoo

vinestand

i doodled the character i relate the most toooo and wow i should maybe draw a nice picture of him but no not now

#who's that hoopy frood #hhgttg

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yourcutestories

People will stop showing you pictures of their kids if you whisper “oh fuck yea” under your breath when you look at their photos.

#pedophilia //// may be??#literally zaphod

bru-xaria-deactivated20170226

i swear to god if i had enough patience to make a comic i’d make one about the adventures of Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple breasted whore of Eroticon Six

semihalfcousin

i would read that

#zaphod rambles

scarecrow542

Finally finished another of my hitchhikers animations. Starring everyone’s favourite ex galactic president

#that place was cool I should go again #hhgttg #h2g2 #animation

thewould-beking-offline-blog

"Would you rather take it while I rip out your throat?" the lion smirked, showing his sharp teeth.

semihalfcousin

"That… that was a death threat! I can call the police now. Or animal control."

thewould-beking-offline-blog

"Ooooh, I quiver with fear… the police or animal control, how terrifying!” the lion laughed, rolling his shoulders. “Please, don’t call them… I just couldn’t take jail or the pound.”

semihalfcousin

They didn't have sarcasm on Betelgeuse, and while Zaphod learned how to put it in his own words, he was a tad slow on picking it up from others. "Any way to get you off my ship is a good one. What do you want with it, anyways?"

#thewouldbeking

thefloorisholdingeverythingup

"Yeah but… You’re that guy!" Wheatley continued to stare. It had been a very long, very annoying stretch of time listening to the stereo snoring of the improbable ship’s captain, having lost his proper body and being stuck in a core again, unable to move. Wheatley had, eventually, however, inexplicably vanished from the ship just as strangely as he had appeared, turning up in a wheat field with his body very thankfully back.

It was clear the man before him remembered none of this, and yet he was sure it was the same person.

He finally came back to his senses and managed not to stare quite so badly. “Uh, sorry? Oh. Yeah. Your drink. Erm… I don’t have any money, actually… Bit of a problem… Otherwise I’d be happy to get you another one. What is it, anyway? It looks quite impressive. Well, looked. Shirt-stains aren’t all that impressive. Just looks sloppy, really. Nothing looks good after its been spilled on your clothes.”

semihalfcousin

Wheatley was mostly right- Zaphod had been there.

He had called him a soccer ball, threatened to kick him across the room, and then flat-out ignored him as he made him watch Zaphod fall asleep.

But where Wheatley’s accuracy began to falter out was thinking that he hadn’t remembered it. Zaphod could recall it happening, he just didn’t recognize the android due to the unfamiliar form.

While one head controlled three arms carrying napkins, trying to save his shirt, the second-and less talkative- head decided to carry on the conversation himself.

"You just wasted a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, and our shirt. I’m sorry, do we know you?"

thefloorisholdingeverythingup

Wheatley was more than a little surprised that the seemingly spaced-out head actually talked, though he didn’t show it all that much. He supposed it was perfectly normal, for a head to talk, in most cases anyway, but seeing as Zaphod already had one that did and this one just usually… Stared off, he hadn’t though that much about it’s speech abilities.

"Wasted?" Asked Wheatley. "I just wasted a… Pan Ga-… Thingy? Well, I mean, technichally, I wasn’t the one who spilled it, am I? I was just… Y’know… Part of the chain of events that led to it spilling. Actually, you could probably track that to my inventors, or whoever decided to make this restaurant, or whoever came up with the drink. So, really, saying that it was ME would be a bit of a stretch, wouldn’t it?"

"Do you know me? Well er, there was a bit of an incident, while back, you probably don’t remember it. You sort of slept through most of it. But yeah, does a little metal ball landing on your ship ring any bells? Name of Wheatley?"

semihalfcousin

All three arms gave up the futile attempt of drying out the shirt. The thick yellow liquid certainly wasn't going to come out with napkins, so he would have to deal with it later. His second head took up almost no personality when it talked, sounding reminiscent of a translator program that some of the aliens in the restaurant didn't use. The man slowly lifted his first head when Wheatley began rambling. This time, however, he seemed to pay attention.

"Don't give me that spiritual crap, man. You gotta step up. Take responsibility." He paused, hearing the name and description. "The soccer ball?"

#sorry if the reply messes up im on my tablet #notjustaregularmoron

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((i still love this blog ok i just don't have any replies or asks to do ;-;))

#ooc #out of cocktails

do-not-ingest

@semihalfcousin

semihalfcousin

"Oh, well, say it to my face, would you. Apparently your manners didn’t transfer over.

do-not-ingest

"Manners, nothing. That was one of the first sensations I felt as a human. You try braining an infant with a rock and see how he reacts."

semihalfcousin

He pauses, blinking repeatedly. "Marvin, I couldn't understand what you said, but I'm very concerned."

#theparanoidhumanoid #death//////??

thenerdisout

Good evening,” it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, “I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body?

(via hitchhikersguidetothegalaxy)

#h2g2 #hhgttg

showmethehotpods-deactivated201

CASUAL REMINDER;

THAT I TEND NOT TO DO A STARTER FOR EVERY NEW FOLLOWER ‘CAUSE I JUST SUCK LIKE THAT, AND IF YOU WANT TO RP WITH ME, NEVER BE AFRAID TO JUST TOTALLY JUMP RIGHT IN MY ASK BOX OR RESPOND TO AN OPEN OR JUST LIKE GO FOR IT RUN STRAIGHT AT ME IF I DON’T DO THE THING FIRST I’M ALWAYS UP FOR ANYTHING I’M JUST A SLOW LAZY DUMB BUTT OF DUMB HOW DO STARTER HELLO WHAT

#its boring over here guys #ooc #out of cocktails

hitchhikersguidetothegalaxy

On the way back they sang a number of tuneful and reflective songs on the subjects of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life and the obliteration of all other life forms.

Douglas Adams: Life, the Universe, and Everything (via hitchhikersguidetothegalaxy)

#a queue so nice i think i'd like to steal it #hhgttg #h2g2

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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eggwitch

stop making every alien species u create sexually dimorphic humanoids u uncreative nerds

#no u look betelgeusan #we came first

thewould-beking-offline-blog

"Not a chance," Taka chuckled, smirking. "This place is incredible. I see oh so much potential."

semihalfcousin

His expression remains unchanged, but it’s easy to see he’s quickly unimpressed. “Potential? I’m not taking this from a giant cat.”

thewould-beking-offline-blog

"Would you rather take it while I rip out your throat?" the lion smirked, showing his sharp teeth.

semihalfcousin

"That... that was a death threat! I can call the police now. Or animal control."

#thewouldbeking

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