Things

Brendon Small (co-creator) prides himself on this. He even included an advanced guitar lesson as a dvd extra.

Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.

Notice anything strange about the bread?

I didn’t either. That’s because…

…no cuts were made there in the first place!

The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

How, you ask? Look to the second photo.

While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.

Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?

The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?

This illustration explains it all.

While I am… ahem, not the best artist…

(Didn’t I go to art school?)

The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…

Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.

if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.

Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.

Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.

And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.

You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”

Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.

Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.

Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.

In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!

Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.

But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.

Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.

I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.

The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

The defense has an explanation for this positioning.

Awesome protests erupted in my school today. Our student council planned a “fun” game for valentines day. They handed out paper hearts to every girl at the beginning of the day. Only the girls. If a girl speaks to a guy through the duration of the day, she has to give him her heart. Guys get five raffle tickets for every heart they collect. Girls cannot collect hearts, they only have one to give away, and guys do not have to give away anything. A gay male asked for a heart to give away to participate and was told no.

Some girls have taken this as an invitation to say things such as, quoted from twitter, “keeping the whores from talking today haha.” And boasting about “keeping their heart and not being a whore.” This has turned into an excuse to shame each other for talking to guys. And for what? A valentines game?

Rather than writing their names on the hearts and giving them away, many girls have written notes of protest on the paper hearts and are wearing them proudly as they associate with whoever they please and refuse to give the heart away.

WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT NO MAN’S SKY???

This game is set to come out in 2015 for PC and PS4. Fans of Sci-Fi (Star Trek especially) you need to pay attention here! This game is FUCKING INFINITE. You drive your spaceship across the galaxy looking for planets to explore - some are uninhabited, some are very inhabited, and some are not too keen on your arrival. When you find an undiscovered planet, you have officially discovered it. Like, your name will forever be on that planet. “Choose whether to share your discoveries with other players. They’re exploring the same vast universe in parallel; perhaps you’ll make your mark on their worlds as well as your own.”  ”No Man’s Sky is a game about exploration and survival in an infinite procedurally generated galaxy.” INFINITELY. GENERATED. YOU CAN PLAY IT FOREVER AND STILL DISCOVER NEW THINGS IT IS LITERALLY LIKE THE GOD DAMN GALAXY I CAN’T EVEN CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT AT THIS POINT.