@brathaidh : [06] taking the long way home and pulling over on a dark stretch of road, [28] the wrecked way they say your name for the first time.
leaving the entirety of her life turned out to be more dangerous than elain assumed it would be. when she left home, her family, and the town that raised her, she didn't believe people would care. because no one, other than her sisters, ever really had. but caring about her versus caring about the investments they'd made in using her were two very different things; and as it turned out, there were more people willing to hunt to the ends of the earth for her than she could have imagined. her parents and graysen had begun separate but equally desperate searches of their own.
when she and azriel arrived in a small town just about a thousand miles from where she grew up, there was already someone waiting for them. their saving grace - was that the person didn't know she was with azriel and that azriel was more stealth than most highly trained assassins might have been. when he overheard a man asking the bartender about her, he was quick to bulldoze his way into the bathroom. her fear passed quickly when he held up a finger to quiet her. his eyes gestured to the window, he kept his back to the door. "go," he mouthed, unconcerned about her ability to get herself out. they were lucky it was easy, that elain could climb up and out without too much of a struggle. he took her hand the second he was close enough to.
in the few weeks they'd been traveling together, azriel made a point to take his time in the journey. they didn't rush. they made their way north, then west, and then north again. with no real destination in sight. without elain being in need of one, they found it easy to meander about the country, getting to know each other slowly and with care. it didn't bother her to spend time with him. elain enjoyed azriel's company. his calm, quiet confidence made her confident. she didn't have to doubt her intelligence or her feelings anymore. he never belittled her for either. she got to exist as herself and in turn, so did he. there were no facades.
elain had never seen him like this though: frazzled, or scared. the speed at which azriel drove away proved enough of a point she'd been wondering about. he cared about her.
eventually, she said his name- "azriel," repeated it calmly until he heard her. they were in the middle of nowhere. the world was pitch black save for the light of the moon. "pull over, please. you're scaring me." within a few seconds, he did.
he didn't speak when he got out of the car, leaving the lights on to illuminate the road ahead as he paced. elain got out and closed the door, having a sense that whatever was happening, it might take a while. "can you talk to me?" she called as she came to stand in front of the car. "what happened, azriel?" again it was as if hearing his name was a trigger. he looked up immediately and she could see the anxiety coursing through him. when he didn't move, elain did. "why did we leave?" his jaw ticked, slightly, just enough for her to catch. for her to know. it wasn't about him. he hadn't been scared for him, he'd been scared for her.
the realization came like a tidal wave, one that crashed over her with little warning. she moved back to the car and sat on its hood, head falling into her hands as she took a few deep breaths. when she heard the crunch of gravel in front of her, she looked up and let azriel see the few tears she'd allowed. the first since she'd left. "he used to warn me," she started. "he said if i ever left, he'd find me. and that's what you saw, isn't it? or what you heard? someone was there for me." it would have never been graysen. he wouldn't be the one to find her. 'he didn't have the time.' but he had the money and greed, the jealous vengeance he'd make her feel for as long as he could. graysen wanted to scare her. he loved to dangle threats like a terrorizing mobile; always circling, always ready to drop them on her head. except now the threats were becoming real.
azriel spoke her name then and it was as if it was the first time he'd ever said it. his tone, the inflection, made it sound like it took every ounce of strength for him to say. she wasn't sure who moved first, but it didn't matter. his hands took hold of her face and hers held his. "i don't want him to find me. i don't want to go back," she cried and again azriel said, "elain." the words behind her name unsaid: i won't let that happen. wherever we are is where you're meant to be.