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Somewhere Anathema Device caught a glimpse of something in Agnes Nutter’s second book of prophecies, gasped, pulled it out of the fire, got Newt to drive at top speed down the M25 (somehow magically free) dashes into Soho, runs into the bookshop, slams the book down on the counter in front of Aziraphale and Crowley and screams
‘Don’t you two FUCKING dare!’
And leaves.
Several large coffees, bottles of wine and a pile of Eccles cakes and a very long reading and interpretation session later Crowley sits back.
‘Beelzebub and Gabriel, huh? Did not see that coming.’
‘Never mind that, dear,’ Aziraphale says, as he continues carving symbols onto the floor. ‘There. That should do it. The Metatron can’t get in here now.’
‘And you?’ Crowley asks delicately. Aziraphale stands up and primly clasps his hands across his stomach.
‘I have no intention of going up to heaven under any circumstances and especially not now I know how it ends.’ He says. It’s his I Will Not Be Moved tone. Crowley knows it well. He is reassured.
‘Well, maybe pop up and get Muriel. But after that we seal up that lift, agreed?’ Crowley adds.
‘Agreed.’
‘Excellent. Dinner at the Ritz called for I think, to celebrate a very lucky escape. Coming, Angel?’
‘One thing…’ Aziraphale says, and Crowley notices the cheeks of his Angel have gone a little pink, and he is turning that ring on his finger round and round. ‘Prophecy number 547.’
‘547? Was that the one with the butterflies the size of giraffes?’
‘It was not,’ Aziraphale says.
Crowley takes a step closer. He always did enjoy this bit of the temptation, although he was not quite sure who was being tempted right now.
‘Ah, the one with the Welsh Choir serenading the Kraken with excerpts from popular musicals.’
‘No, not that one either.’ Aziraphale appears to have flushed a deep red.
Crowley takes a step closer now. He can feel it - the tingle in his fingers and on his lips.
There’s another first time coming. To add to the Wall, and the Temptation of the Ox Ribs and the Rescue of the Books and all those other first times that have led them step by step to this place.
A first time they had in any timeline, but this would their first time - they, Aziraphale and Crowley in this world, their world.
‘Oh, I know, the one with the crystal the exact size and shape of…’
‘Crowley!’ Aziraphale snaps. ‘You know which one I mean.’
‘Oh,’ Crowley says softly. ‘The one where I tell you there’s an us.’
‘That’s the one,’ Aziraphale says, glancing down at the ground. ‘Of course, if you’d rather not, I understand, it’s asking too much, it’s…’
‘Angel,’ Crowley says, and he steps forward, taking off his glasses, and looks down at his angel, his enemy and ally, his closest friend. His love since he knew what love meant. ‘We have always been an us. We don’t need a prophecy for that.’
And Aziraphale, a soft and gentle angel, not a soldier or a leader, becomes a hero for that moment, and clasps Crowley’s collar and pulls him in for a kiss.
It was a nice day. It would always be a nice day. There would always be a bookshop, and later a garden. Nightingales would always sing and there would be many many kisses to follow that first kiss.
#RAINBOWROAD for RAINN Charity Drive will open on 6/1
With Good Omens coming to a close, I'm excited to announce I will be doing a FINAL print run of the #RAINBOWROAD trilogy.
Please reblog so we can spread the news!!!!
What is #RAINBOWROAD? A Good Omens F1 Alternate Universe that ate my brain for 5 years, spans a decade from start to finish, and has changed my life. Through previous print runs and Fandom Trumps Hate, this universe has already fundraised $3000 for charity. Previous proceeds went to Rainbow Railroad. The final print run will be donated to RAINN.
So, what is included?
Printed Trilogy:
Book 1: Sit Tight Take Hold
424 pages on matte 80lb text paper, color printing throughout. Cover has matte lamination in color. Dimensions of the book are 6x9x.93. Weight ~2 lbs
Art by Blairamok (See cover art above)
Book 2: How do you solve a problem like Ezira?, Accept a Little Spin, and Oh, there's a long way to go
408 pages on matte 80lb text paper, color printing throughout. Cover has matte lamination in color. Dimensions of the book are 6x9x.93. Weight ~2 lbs
Art by DustandHalos (cover art below)
Book 3: Fools Rush In and bonus content, 0-60 in 3.5
468 pages on matte 80lb text paper, color printing throughout. Cover has matte lamination in color. Dimensions of the book are 6x9x1.06. Weight ~2lbs
Art by Pyracantha (cover art below)
PDF copies of all three parts + an additional PDF copy of Supercut + Tea With Cyborgs
Option for PDFs only if you donate to a charity of your choice and send me a receipt. Any amount valid.
Where are the proceeds going?
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)
If you are intersted in learning more about their work, please visit their website HERE.
Continued FAQ below:
How much does shipping cost?
For US residents, bundles will cost a flat fee of $13. They will ship via media mail through USPS.
For anyone outside of the US, shipping has been estimated through the cheapest carrier, most likely MEEST or EMS Parcel Post. Unfortunately, I cannot control the cost of shipping, and I know that it is extraordinarily high. The bundles will weigh anywhere between 4-6+ lbs, which is expensive to ship.
Wait, I'm from the US. Why am I paying more for Media Mail?
While Media Mail typically would cost $8-9, the increased price is to offset international orders, whose shipping will cost anywhere from $45-70 with the discount. I hope you understand. I want to make this as accessible as I can without personally eating any costs. I am not making any profit off of this project.
When do orders ship?
Once pre-orders close on 6/30, I will order the books. There is typically a 2-4 week turn around for them to be printed and delivered to me. I then have to package and ship everything from my house. I will also be out of town in August for 10 days to attend TIC7, but I hope to have all orders shipped by September 1st.
US mail should take 2-8 days. International orders can take anywhere from 2-4 weeks, so please be patient.
What percent of proceeds are going to RAINN?
100%! This excludes the cost of printing and shipping. For reference, the first print run cost $1,254 for the books alone, not including shipping and packaging supplies. Anything remaining goes directly to charity. I am not keeping any costs for labor or making any profit on this.
Shipping will take 6-8 weeks after preorders close on 6/30. I will need to submit the order and wait for it to be delivered to my house before preparing shipping. Depending on the quantity of orders, it will take me a while to ship everything out!
*INTERNATIONAL ORDERS OUTSIDE OF THE US:* Orders will be shipped through EMS or Meest for the most cost-effective shipping. Shipping will take additional 2-4 weeks. If you would prefer to ship through USPS or UPS, please contact me directly at ni.scribes [!at] gmail.com. This may increase the cost of shipping by $20-30. Etsy handles calculating VAT. You will also be responsible for any additional tariffs upon arrival.
*Group Orders* If you are interested in connecting with others in your area to do a group order, please contact me BEFORE you orders so I can help find others who are interested. This can help with the cost of shipping. Email me at ni.scribes [!at] gmail.com
*TIC7* If you plan to be at The Ineffable Con this year, I may also be able to deliver the books to you in-person! Let me know, and I will create a separate listing for you that factors out shipping.
Includes:
📕 Book 1: Sit Tight Take Hold
424 pages on matte 80lb text paper, color printing throughout. Cover has matte lamination in color. Dimensions of the book are 6x9x.93
Art by Blairamok
📙 Book 2: How do you solve a problem like Ezira?, Accept a Little Spin, and Oh, there's a long way to go
408 pages on matte 80lb text paper, color printing throughout. Cover has matte lamination in color. Dimensions of the book are 6x9x.93
Art by DustandHalos
📗 Book 3: Fools Rush In and bonus content, 0-60 in 3.5
468 pages on matte 80lb text paper, color printing throughout. Cover has matte lamination in color. Dimensions of the book are 6x9x1.06
Art by Pyracantha
💾 Digital files of all 3 PDFs (including Sit Tight, Take Hold), and additional PDF with the added shorts Not All Treasure, Supercut, and Tea With Cyborgs. I will email you the PDFs separately once pre-orders close.
Proceeds will be donated to RAINN, an organization that works to support and protect victims of sexual assault or abuse.
the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.
Friends, I love you all and I wish you the best as we start this month of celebration of our place in the universe as humans.
I can think of no better way to kick that off than this short and spicy one shot from @tawnyontumblr which tells the story of two school mates who run into each other at Pride and figure out they might have more in common than they ever thought possible.
Summary: A hook-up at Pride turns into a mutually beneficial arrangement.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Crowley loves him so much he thinks if Aziraphale put his hand to Crowley’s chest, his ribcage would part to allow Aziraphale to take Crowley’s heart in his palm. He already owns it anyway.
Crowley gives himself the moment to look, and that must be when Newt takes the photo.
Illustration for @voluptatiscausa's stunning You Can Have It.
This drawing is also gonna be the cover of the amazing podfic by @lickthecowhappy which will (hopefully) be out next month!
AAAAAAAAGHGHG. I got to see this as a WIP and it’s so stunning 🤩 and I love them and I fucking adored this fic. It sliced my soul to ribbons and then lovingly put it back together. The podfic is gonna be AMAZING.
The more I think about it, the more I believe the divide in the Good Omens fandom right now is a philosophical one.
We’re asking, where does the soul live?
For those who think that who we are is shaped by a life time of experiences. That we grow and change with each each heartbreak and trauma. We see the ending as something horrible. We’re witnessing the death of our beloved characters and we are grieving for them.
For those who believe in a soul, who believe that Asa and Anthony are Aziraphale and Crowley because of the something intrinsic that lives inside them, what they’re seeing is a rebirth and a second chance. In that sense the ending is beautiful. They both get exactly what they’ve always wanted. To live as humans without the pressure of heaven and hell. In that sense, the ending is a joyous one.
Sadly these beliefs are deeply held, often the roots begin as far back as our childhoods. No amount of screaming at each other about media analysis is going to change anyone’s mind. Please just accept that there are multiple ways that one can view the ending and that those who are upset are experiencing grief. This is an extremely normal and valid reaction to end of something so meaningful and should be treated with care.
That said, your grief is not an excuse to lash out and those who don’t deserve it.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
#RAINBOWROAD for RAINN Charity Drive will open on 6/1
With Good Omens coming to a close, I'm excited to announce I will be doing a FINAL print run of the #RAINBOWROAD trilogy.
Please reblog so we can spread the news!!!!
What is #RAINBOWROAD? A Good Omens F1 Alternate Universe that ate my brain for 5 years, spans a decade from start to finish, and has changed my life. Through previous print runs and Fandom Trumps Hate, this universe has already fundraised $3000 for charity. Previous proceeds went to Rainbow Railroad. The final print run will be donated to RAINN.
So, what is included?
Printed Trilogy:
Book 1: Sit Tight Take Hold
424 pages on matte 80lb text paper, color printing throughout. Cover has matte lamination in color. Dimensions of the book are 6x9x.93. Weight ~2 lbs
Art by Blairamok (See cover art above)
Book 2: How do you solve a problem like Ezira?, Accept a Little Spin, and Oh, there's a long way to go
408 pages on matte 80lb text paper, color printing throughout. Cover has matte lamination in color. Dimensions of the book are 6x9x.93. Weight ~2 lbs
Art by DustandHalos (cover art below)
Book 3: Fools Rush In and bonus content, 0-60 in 3.5
468 pages on matte 80lb text paper, color printing throughout. Cover has matte lamination in color. Dimensions of the book are 6x9x1.06. Weight ~2lbs
Art by Pyracantha (cover art below)
PDF copies of all three parts + an additional PDF copy of Supercut + Tea With Cyborgs
Option for PDFs only if you donate to a charity of your choice and send me a receipt. Any amount valid.
Where are the proceeds going?
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)
If you are intersted in learning more about their work, please visit their website HERE.
Continued FAQ below:
How much does shipping cost?
For US residents, bundles will cost a flat fee of $13. They will ship via media mail through USPS.
For anyone outside of the US, shipping has been estimated through the cheapest carrier, most likely MEEST or EMS Parcel Post. Unfortunately, I cannot control the cost of shipping, and I know that it is extraordinarily high. The bundles will weigh anywhere between 4-6+ lbs, which is expensive to ship.
Wait, I'm from the US. Why am I paying more for Media Mail?
While Media Mail typically would cost $8-9, the increased price is to offset international orders, whose shipping will cost anywhere from $45-70 with the discount. I hope you understand. I want to make this as accessible as I can without personally eating any costs. I am not making any profit off of this project.
When do orders ship?
Once pre-orders close on 6/30, I will order the books. There is typically a 2-4 week turn around for them to be printed and delivered to me. I then have to package and ship everything from my house. I will also be out of town in August for 10 days to attend TIC7, but I hope to have all orders shipped by September 1st.
US mail should take 2-8 days. International orders can take anywhere from 2-4 weeks, so please be patient.
What percent of proceeds are going to RAINN?
100%! This excludes the cost of printing and shipping. For reference, the first print run cost $1,254 for the books alone, not including shipping and packaging supplies. Anything remaining goes directly to charity. I am not keeping any costs for labor or making any profit on this.
I'm already seeing more discourse than I feel comfortable with and people (it feels like) choosing to interpret other fans opinions in the most negative or reactionary way instead of being empathetic at all, and it is so so so frustrating.
I don't understand why when there are disagreements about things like whether an ending is happy or whether a ship is "canon enough" or anything in that vein it always becomes this stupid competition of "I like it/I dislike it, and I'm right to because I know the show better than you and understand the characters better than you"
I want to scream.
As an example:
There are valid, narrative supported reasons to think that in the situations that happened in the finale Aziraphale and Crowley made a satisfying and in character choice given the circumstances AND there are valid reasons to think that specific situation and choice should have never been what it came down to, there was always a more hopeful and meaningful ending that could have happened if the plot was restructured.
There are valid reasons to be disappointed they didn't kiss (queer people deserve representation and queer couples deserve to kiss onscreen, they kissed once in s2 under more sad/angsty circumstances and that element of their arc wasn't closed in a way that was satisfying to everyone, people wanted to see a happy kiss, people wanted more overt romance and loved these characters and their love story) and valid reasons to be okay with them not kissing (interpreting their relationship through a more aro/ace spec lens and being happy with the other ways their love was shown that didn't center physical expressions of romantic love, or alternatively being satisfied with the fact that a version of the characters got an unashamedly romantic ending) and nobody is fundamentally less a fan for disagreeing with each other on that
THANK YOU for sending this ask like i SO agree with you here, i don’t want this to become a mass blocking event, and different opinions are fine as long as ppl don’t attack each other
The Moment of Recognition (or, Aziraphale's Angel Alarm System)
Another Moment That Matters
For a verrrry long time, this scene bothered me. This moment. On the surface, it seems that Aziraphale is reacting to the romantic scene playing out before him. Gabe and Beez are standing up for their relationship -- "I just found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides." They take each other's hands. Maggie thinks it's really sweet. Dagon retches. Aziraphale touches Crowley's arm, and Nina considers believing in True Love. It's all lovely, right?
Plus, last night's chaos is under control, Crowley corralled all the idiocy so the idiots won't make war over The Thing with the Halo, and Jimbriel will soon be off their hands. They've got this, yes? Aren't they caught up in the romance of the moment?
But there's no soft, secret smile wafting across Aziraphale's face, no happily arched eyebrows. Instead, it's Crowley's eyebrows that are raised -- in sharp, suspicious angles, and Aziraphale looks taut and distracted. Why?
Because this is the moment that the Metatron arrived somewhere on Whickber Street, and Aziraphale's "Angel Alarm" goes off.
It's the same ability that allowed him to sense the moment the Archangels arrived in Episode 2 when Aziraphale was with Maggie. But this time, the heavenly crew is already in the bookshop. Aziraphale knows he's sensing the arrival of the Metatron.
He and Crowley were expecting the Metabastron to show up once Jimbriel landed on their doorstep. They've been on the lookout all week. (See Crowley on Patrol). They'd tried to prepare, to plan. They'd hoped they were ready for it.
Unfortunately, the Big Floating Giant Head had planned an unexpected move in his strategic attack.
This same moment in motion helps us notice their worried expressions and downturned mouths. Aziraphale gasps, but he is NOT focused on Gabe and Beez at all. His sightline is too low for their lovestruck faces, too high for their clasped hands. He looks preoccupied and his focus has turned inward. His body suddenly holds a rigid tension as he puts his hand on Crowley's arm. Crowley raises his eyebrows at the touch, then lifts his head attentively, and for a moment both go completely still. The event they most dreaded (short of Armageddon itself) has happened.
That touch on Crowley's arm isn't affection, not this time. It's a warning notice. He's here!
Aziraphale, who is always attentive to where Crowley is and what terribly clever thing he's saying, is not even peripherally watching him. Our angel is still staring, unfocused and nearly motionless the whole time Crowley is talking and hustling the humans out of danger. His hand stays suspended, his fingers curled, his face frozen in that familiar vague mask-of-a-smile that's his resting default. He doesn't look at or nod at or say goodbye to Maggie and Nina as they walk right past him.
He doesn't come out of it until Crowley walks into Azi's line of vision and speaks directlly to him.
Daydreaming about Crowley, while his dashing beloved is right there rescuing the humans from Michael's impulsive wrath? Nah.
But if you still doubt, here's even more proof that Our Ineffables know that the MetaBoss has arrived.
I've talked about Crowley on Patrol before, how Crowley went out protectively patrolling the neighborhood for danger after Jimbriel's arrival. Our Ineffables were not so naive as to be caught completely off-guard. They knew that trouble would soon follow.
Moments after Aziraphale warns Crowley, Michael's threats against Maggie and Nina give Crowley a good excuse for a quick look around. He hurries them away from the otherworldly drama and escorts them back to the coffee shop. He's scanning the neighborhood with broad searching glances the entire time, just as he did when he was on patrol.
It's what he does throughout most of S2 when he's on the move. We see a lot of it when he's escorting Aziraphale around to invite shopkeepers to the neighborhood ball meeting. Crowley's neck is on a swivel now, always watchful, restless, alert.
Now, when we watch that scene in full, it doesn't appear that he spotted the Metatron in the line at the coffee shop. Crowley lopes along in his usual swingy way, snaps Mr. Brown back and strides away, angling back across the street. But he's angling in the wrong direction...! Shouldn't he be in a hurry to return?
He angles along so much that he's NOT heading back towards the bookshop door. Crowley doesn't pivot and retrace his steps to hurry back to his Angel, who's managing an otherworldly ruckus. Instead, Crowley ditches the humans, then continues his trajectory in the general direction of the record shop. He's moving away from the entrance pillars instead of towards them.
This casual route takes him past Nina's line of coffee customers. (Taking the long way back would make no sense, unless he's looking for someone!) Crowley intends to undertake surveillance on that coffee line and quickly check the neighborhood! Of course, he's still looking past the humans and all around with what looks like his usual distracted impatience.
** We're talking espionage-level Reconnaissance here. A demon's 007 dream! "The spy, clad in classic black, subtly locates and observes his target while masterfully maintaining a facade of dismissal and casual indifference."
The Metatron doesn't look directly towards Crowley until the retired demon is past him and well on his way. The manipulative devious scheming Metatron doesn't want to be seen. Not yet. He sets up scenarios like moving pieces on a chess board. He likes to have a strategic advantage. It's a good power play.
For now, Crowley seems to relax a bit. It's a confirmed sighting. Target located. Estimated time of arrival 3-5 minutes. That coffee line'll take a while. When we see Crowley through the bookshop window, he grins with pride as a no-longer-meek Aziraphale clangs the bell and loudly demands order!
That adorable window moment is also to draw our attention to the very important fact that Crowley had been on patrol again, looking for the MetaSneak.
Crowley walked at least all the way down to the far outer end of the shop, saw that his Angel had everything well under control, and is ambling all the way back. We track him along the length of the building through both side windows, just to make sure we noticed his route!
Would our dashing demon took a "needless stroll" while Azi was left alone with Archangels and the Demon Hierarchy? Nah.
Sure enough, by the time the Metatron walks in, Crowley is theatrically (debonairly!) draped across the armchair and away from the main activity in the room -- easy to underestimate, because he wants you to underestimate him. "Nothing to see here, just a lazy careless uninvolved runaway demon whose only expertise was white collar shenanigans and gluing pennies! Oh, but I did just miracle a mustached human safely out of Hell itself..." (I feel like he's giving bodyguard vibes here too!)
Not only does Crowley recognize Mr. Big Floating Giant Head Guy, so does Aziraphale. Oh... you bought into his act? Or rather, his overacting? Our Beloved Angel is a Master Craftsman at "How to Look Foolish to Allow Oneself to be Underestimated." Watch this first moment in the show carefully. Slow it down if you can. Silly, surprised Aziraphale first does a double-take of recognition that quickly morphs into a frown of concern. Probably wondering/worrying why the Metatron, who knows and cares SO VERY LITTLE about human life on earth, got himself a cup of coffee... (I deep-dive into analyzing Azi's facial expressions in this scene in Nothing Lasts Forever)
*****
Anyway, my point is... My point is that Aziraphale and Crowley aren't fools. My point is that they were on the lookout for the MetaThug since Jimbriel showed up. My point is that they had been preparing for this encounter for a very long time. My point is that they were planning and functioning all along as a team, a group, an Us...
They didn't get ambushed. They didn't fall apart and divorce in a mere 15 minutes. They got threatened with A Hefty Jigger of Death in that damned coffee, and were outmaneuvered in the Metatron's sinister game of chess... For now. But it's only Check...
Not Checkmate.
*****
Here are the links to the other important Chess Move moments I mentioned:
Nothing Lasts Forever, Crowley on Patrol, & A Hefty Jigger of Death
I firmly believe that the Final 15 was not quite as dire as it seemed, and certainly not an Ineffable divorce!! I hope I've managed to pass some of that well-reasoned belief on to you too! There's a lot more about it on my main page. Thanks for being here!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Aziraphale: Any updates? [Muriel clears throat] Ah, yes, Muriel.
Muriel: You wanted me to tell you when he was awake and incarnate and well, he is. Both!
Aziraphale: Wonderful and how did he take it?
Muriel: Erm, pretty well. He's a bit "Whoa! I've got a body. What's this about then?" And I'm all, "Not really my job." And he's all, "I have absolutely no idea what's happening." And I'm all...
[Uriel interrupts]
Uriel: Everything is set. We have the quite long checklist you gave us, Aziraphale. Nothing will go wrong.
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