Clay Alegator

"Why would this character be jealous of their friend's romantic relationships? Clearly they're in love with them" I don't know if you guys have ever Had Friends but it's actually pretty common for people to feel jealous if their best friend suddenly has less time for them and is prioritising someone they just met over them. That's not inherently romantic, that's the general human desire to be valued by the people you value.

missing someone is great if you're a big fan of the sensation of drowning on dry land

Very stupid that I can't take the muscles out of my neck & upper back & beat them with a meat tenderizer. I think that would fix me

hi

actually i want to be alone rn

no i dont... hi

i think i might need to be on my own rn

it really is appalling that the vast majority of people still consider psychotic disorders to be a moral failing and an abject horror that couldn't possibly happen to them or anyone they care about (because they wouldn't make the mistake of investing their affection and compassion in someone like that). that so much of society globally is still structured to be as hostile and inaccessible to psychotics as possible. that antipsychotic ableism intersects not inconsiderably with other forms of social violence like racial discrimination, misogyny, classism, and transphobic and homophobic legislation; even how we treat the most vulnerable age groups like children and the elderly. and yet it's still an afterthought at best and a boogeyman as standard. if you see someone acting suspiciously in public, report it. record it and post it online as a warning to others. humiliate these subhuman failures into disappearing. exorcise them like demons. people like you should be executed in the street, and they are. frequently.

and not even being a "high functioning" enough psychotic to successfully integrate into society by masking effectively at the expense of exhausting yourself accommodating for the rest of the world without expectation of any return of the favour will save you. you'll just always be waiting for the other shoe to drop; for the moment when you fuck up in front of witnesses and do something that marks you as one of Them, the frothing rabid crazies, and any credibility you've managed to accrue is rendered instantly null and void. you'll never be trusted or believed ever again. your life will be halted in its tracks for the crime of being anything less than perfect. these are, of course, the ideal conditions for your chances of ever getting any "better". who needs support and medication when you can simply frighten people into compliance, or else falling apart under stress and providing you with the excuse you needed to have them removed from polite society and disposed of.

be careful with what series you watch/read during emotional points in your life because they will forever contain a ghost of your past self within it now

Dealing with burnout is sooooooooooooooo easy all you need to do is operate at 40% indefinitely and be kind of mad at yourself the whole time.

when u look at 2017 and think “oh that’s only like 3 years ago” and it’s actually 12,000 years ago and everything is gone and everyone you know has been reduced to ash and the world is completely different