Clearly, I have issues.

Titanic (1997) - dir. James Cameron

Victor Garber as Thomas Andrews, father of the Titanic.

In appearance he made a fine figure, standing nearly six feet high, weighing some two hundred pounds, well-built, straight, with broad shoulders and great physical development. He had dark brown hair, sharp clean-shaven features; you would call him handsome; his brown eyes met yours with a look of the frankest kindliness, and when he gripped your hand he took you, as it were, to himself. Even as you see him in a portrait you feel constrained to exclaim, as many did at first sight of him, “Well, that’s a man!” He had a wonderful ringing laugh, an easy way with him, an Irishman’s appreciation of humour. He was sunny, big-hearted, full of gaiety. He loved to hear a good story, and could tell you one as well as another. He had the luck to be simple in his habits and pleasures, his food, his dress, his tastes. Give him health, plenty of friends, plenty of work, and occasionally some spare hours in which to enjoy a good book (Maeterlinck’s Life of the Bee for preference) and some good music, to go yachting on Strangford Lough, or picnicking at the family bungalow on Braddock Island, or for a long jolly ride with Mrs. Andrews in their little Renault round the Ards Peninsula, and he was thoroughly content. When of a Saturday evening he opened the door, so the servants at Ardara used to say, they like all the rest waiting expectantly for his coming, it was as though a wind from the sea swept into the house. All was astir. His presence filled the place. Soon you would hear his father’s greeting, “Well, my big son, how are you?” and thereafter, for one more week’s end, it was in Ardara as though the schoolboy was home for a holiday. You would hear Tom’s voice and laugh through the house and his step on the stairs; you would see him, gloved and veiled, out working among his bees, scampering on the lawn with the children, or playing with the dog, or telling many a good story to the family circle. Everyone loved him—everyone. - Sandra F. Bullock, Thomas Andrews: Shipbuilder

THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY: 

I wrote CHAPTER 1 of “THE CONTRACT” after half a bottle of wine one night. 

I’d always wanted to be a writer, but was convinced I could never, ever do it. Too scary. Too hard. Too time-consuming. What if I suck?

I’d found fanfiction as a young teenager, and then ignored it for twenty years. 

Somehow in the past two years I found myself reading it again, voraciously, and got pulled back into the world of Harry Potter. Specifically, I found myself loving stories that featured Hermione Granger, Lucius Malfoy, and/or Severus Snape. (And why wouldn’t I? They’re terrific characters.)

After a few months of reading other people’s works, a story idea began to take shape in my head. 

I ignored it. 

I tried. 

It grew. 

Finally, I realised I had a rather epic plot. A witch caught between two wizards. Elements of Daphne du Maurier, Jane Austen, but featuring elements of extreme darkness – torture, suicide, abuse, grief, mental illness, PTSD, the horrors of war, a forced marriage, etc. 

You know, all the things nice girls shouldn’t write about. :) 

“Well, maybe I will just write the first chapter or two…and then if people like the idea then I can just summarize the plot in the next few chapters…Just to get it out of my brain…”

So on June 21, 2018, I created an account on Archive of Our Own and published Chapter 1. 

Amazingly, “The Contract” is still going and is now closing in on 250,000 words!!! It has been one hell of a growing experience for me. 

So, this Tumblr was made at the suggestion of several fans of the story. I hope you take this as a HUGE thank-you! (Also, a reader suggested I make a “Ko-fi.” So if you really, REALLY want to buy me a coffee, now you can! And I am happy to accept, since non-fat decaf lattes are my obsession. But also, zero pressure. It feels a little weird to ask for money on the internet. Is this even the “done” thing these days?) 

Anyway, in this blog, I plan to go back and share inspiration behind each chapter – my favorite comments, my writing process, my research photos, music and pictures readers have sent me, etc. As I do this, I will also be editing the early chapters on A03. I have never had an editor/“beta.” It’s all me. So, sorry for all those spelling errors you’ve had to endure. ;) 

So, thank you for the readers who suggested I create this blog! And thank you for everyone who is still reading “The Contract”!!!

I would love to hear more about what you’d like to see here. 

In the meantime, I promise to get you the next chapter soon! 

Constantly tormented non-Slytherin students

Once insulted a girl to physically alter her appearance in a permanent way (Hermione Granger - COS)

Called his best friend a mudblood (Lily Evens/Potter)

Of Harry Potter had not been picked as the Chosen One and Neville Longbottom had, Snape would still have been a Death-Eater and would not have helped Dumbledore (J.K. Rowling confirmed this)

The thought of being a Death-Eater was not wrong to him until it was something that directly affected him that made him reconsider

Snape did not care if James and Harry died, only if Lily lived

He knew that Peter Pettigrew betrayed James and Lily, but did nothing as Sirius Black was blamed for it

He once tried to publicly kill a student’s pet as punishment for getting a potion wrong, and then proceeded to torment said student when it did not die (Neville Longbottom - POA)

Harrassed a student for years because he reminded him of his father (Harry Potter - literally every book)

When Lily Evens/Potter rejected him he responded by joining an extremist group who’s soul purpose was to slaughter muggleborns (which is what Lily is)

After he had called Lily a mudblood, he then tried to cover himself by saying that she alone was different from other muggleborns (TDH or OOTF)

Didn’t see a problem with his “friends” performing Dark Magic on Mary McDonald, and then proceeded to compare it with the Marauders pranks

Dropped a tree branch on Petunia (TDH)

Attacked Remus Lupin in POA while he was trying to explain the situation and literally said the words, “I’ll drag the werewolf. Perhaps the Dementors will have a kiss for him, too.”

He had tried to get Lupin fired from his dream job throughout the year he was working at Hogwarts

Continued to refuse Sirius Black’s explination even though he was being compliment and had only once tried to fight back, without magic, after Snape attacked Lupin

Neville’s parents had been tortured into insanity by a mental, terrifying, witch when he was a child, but when asked what he feared most in the world, he said “Professor Snape” (POA)

Just because he’s a good character and written well doesn’t mean that he was a good person. They’re two completely different things

Literally every time I picture him I just want to crawl into my own skin and want to hit him in the face at the same time because he makes me feel uncomfortable even though he doesn’t exist. And even if he was he was I still wouldn’t because of how greasy he is

Snape did everything in his power to get Remus fired from his dream job, and succeed after he found out that he would not be getting the Order of Merlin for “capturing a dangerous criminal” and after an innocent man escaped the Dementors kiss (POA)

Ripped a photo of James, Lily and Harry being happy and a family in half and stole the half with Lily on it like the creep that he is (TDH)

Constantly tried to get the Marauders expelled from Hogwarts

Even Dumbledore was discussed by Snape’s attitude towards Harry and James

Harry distrusted Snape so much that he literally thought that he was trying to poison Lupin (GOF)

Constantly tormented non-Slytherin students - Except we only ever see his interactions with Gryffindor and Slytherin students. 

Once insulted a girl to physically alter her appearance in a permanent way (Hermione Granger - COS) - Hermione herself said that she ‘always’ wanted to change her teeth. And it’s GoF not CoS.

Called his best friend a mudblood (Lily Evens/Potter) - Done under humiliation and hurt. It’s ‘Evans,’ not ‘Evens.’

Of Harry Potter had not been picked as the Chosen One and Neville Longbottom had, Snape would still have been a Death-Eater and would not have helped Dumbledore (J.K. Rowling confirmed this) - And so what? If Ariana hadn’t died, Dumbledore would still be practicing Dark Arts with his boyfriend Grindelwald. And Death Eater is not hyphenated.

The thought of being a Death-Eater was not wrong to him until it was something that directly affected him that made him reconsider - this is the exact same thing as point 4. And Death Eater is not hyphenated.

Snape did not care if James and Harry died, only if Lily lived - Snape could not ask to spare James nor Harry. Voldemort only allowed Lily to be spared because he thought Snape wanted to fuck her.

He knew that Peter Pettigrew betrayed James and Lily, but did nothing as Sirius Black was blamed for it - And how would he know that? Karkaroff said in book 6 that none of the Death Eaters knew each other.

He once tried to publicly kill a student’s pet as punishment for getting a potion wrong, and then proceeded to torment said student when it did not die (Neville Longbottom - POA) - “Torment” meaning taking away 10 points when he realized Hermione was cheating? Huh.

Harrassed a student for years because he reminded him of his father (Harry Potter - literally every book) - One, it wasn’t because he reminded him of his father. The initial “woah. that’s a carbon copy of James” might’ve led to a sour impression but Harry went on to prove himself like James – breaking the rules, sneaking around, etc. Huh, guess Snape “harrassed” Harry when he was out Horcrux-searching. Wild.

When Lily Evens/Potter rejected him he responded by joining an extremist group who’s soul purpose was to slaughter muggleborns (which is what Lily is) - He didn’t ‘respond’ to that. He joined the Death Eaters because they promised power, something he craved. It’s ‘Evans,’ not ‘Evens.’

After he had called Lily a mudblood, he then tried to cover himself by saying that she alone was different from other muggleborns (TDH or OOTF) - Whaa?? This literally NEVER happened.

Didn’t see a problem with his “friends” performing Dark Magic on Mary McDonald, and then proceeded to compare it with the Marauders pranks - He compared it to them sneaking a werewolf around during the full moon, not their ‘pranks.’ We don’t know what they did to Mary McDonald, just that Lily didn’t find it funny.

Dropped a tree branch on Petunia (TDH) - Have you ever heard of accidental magic? For example, Harry blowing up his aunt?

Attacked Remus Lupin in POA while he was trying to explain the situation and literally said the words, “I’ll drag the werewolf. Perhaps the Dementors will have a kiss for him, too.” - Excuse him for trying to save three 13 year olds from a mass murderer. Excuse him if he doesn’t wait for said mass murderer’s accomplice to ‘explain himself.’

He had tried to get Lupin fired from his dream job throughout the year he was working at Hogwarts - Lupin left himself, he wasn’t fired. He exposed Lupin because he transformed into a werewolf after carelessly not taking the potion.

Continued to refuse Sirius Black’s explination even though he was being compliment and had only once tried to fight back, without magic, after Snape attacked Lupin - What??? What??? Sirius had just admitted that Snape deserved being killed by Lupin (in werewolf form) & tried to attack Snape. He was also…a mass murderer with 3 thirteen year olds. What does “he was being compliment” even mean?? What?? And it’s ‘explanation’ not ‘explination.’

Neville’s parents had been tortured into insanity by a mental, terrifying, witch when he was a child, but when asked what he feared most in the world, he said “Professor Snape” (POA) - Boggarts transform into what THEY think is a person’s ultimate fear. Neville said Snape right after he left the room. Neville didn’t even remember Bellatrix.

Just because he’s a good character and written well doesn’t mean that he was a good person. They’re two completely different things - Have you ever heard of an anti-hero? Probably not, by the looks of all these other points.

Literally every time I picture him I just want to crawl into my own skin and want to hit him in the face at the same time because he makes me feel uncomfortable even though he doesn’t exist. And even if he was he was I still wouldn’t because of how greasy he is - I think someone has issues.

Snape did everything in his power to get Remus fired from his dream job, and succeed after he found out that he would not be getting the Order of Merlin for “capturing a dangerous criminal” and after an innocent man escaped the Dementors kiss (POA) - This is point 15 repeated again. And it’s “succeeded,” past tense.

Ripped a photo of James, Lily and Harry being happy and a family in half and stole the half with Lily on it like the creep that he is (TDH) - He ‘stole’ the half with Lily from a dead person. He didn’t think anyone would find the photo from Sirius’s room. And how, exactly, does this make him a creep, again?

Constantly tried to get the Marauders expelled from Hogwarts - Oh, you mean his tormenters who tried to get him killed?

Even Dumbledore was discussed by Snape’s attitude towards Harry and James - Dumbledore was a manipulative bastard who tried to make Snape feel sorry for two people he had no obligation to. It’s “disgusted,” not “discussed.”

Harry distrusted Snape so much that he literally thought that he was trying to poison Lupin (GOF) - LMAO do you mean PoA? And this is Harry, who thought Snape was Voldemort in Year 1.

Abused his position as Head of House to unfairly reward points to Slytherin and take points from other houses (mostly Gryffindor - especially in OOTF until McGonagall swooped in and verbally beat his ass what a Queen) - He has NEVER rewarded a point to Slytherin in the entire series. And he took off points for bad behavior: being late, etc. And it’s OOTP, not OOTF.