carbon based. omnivore. mammal.

Everyone knows the other side of flat earth is just buttcheeks. Where do you think earthquakes come from? It's from the farts.

This was heartbreaking.

Babe wake up, new kink just dropped

Tumblr isn't social media, it's a habit. Like smoking. We're all gathering by the dumpster in the cold, reblogging posts.

I've asked some normal people and they hint at some amateur level anxieties and some worldly concerns, but yeah, turns out most people's brains aren't a complete dumpster fire of uncontrollable synapses like a never-ending nightmare rave in the backrooms. I have some pretty wild brain functioning, but them? I can't wrap my head around not feeling like my head is on fire and my body is filled with sludge. If i had to spend a day living like them, I would just be worried where all my sludge went and blown away at my ability to interact with another human without strictly policing my entire existence. Because if you admit to all of this in any given setting people always say the same shit. "Just be yourself, you're great" excuse me but no, this finely crafted masterfully build character mask is great, it takes every ounce of energy I have to wear it. If I were to just be how I wanted, I would be face down on the ground groaning at whatever sick neurotic gods created me.

happy we’re just normal men wednesday

IT IS LITERALLY MONDAY

happy we’re just normal men wednesday monday

Hellsite user base has no relationship with time. It is Sunday you fools.

Adorable

kind of a milf. reblog

I should summon her. 🫤

This is the one thing in your life you really want and need to hear. It’s so fascinating.

Me, bleeding profusely from a missing leg as I’m being dragged onto the beach: THIS WAS A STATISTICALLY UNLIKELY OCCASION, IF THE SHARK WANTED ME DEAD I WOULD BE DEAD. SHARKS ARE IMPORTANT FOR THEIR ECOSYSTEMS I DO NOT CONDONE ANY ATTEMPTS TO HUNT THIS SHARK

if an animal kills me, that was on ME. it caught ME slackin. let it eat me

I am food. A sack of meat no better or worse off than the most sophisticated predators to the soil producing worm. If the food chain finds me in my death, then I truely belong to this earth and her infinite cycle of life. How comforting.

Okay but I want silent food. I mean rice crispys, sizzling steak, pop rocks, certain things get a pass, but like, I don't want it to scream or beg for its life, I'm not that sophisticated of a predator. I also don't want it to deliver some boring medical journal style dialog about nutrition. Silence is definitely preferred.

Checked their account: turns out op is a fucking tumblr user themselves so????? Idk :/

which one of you motherfuckers reblogged this again

You did, my leige

No, that can’t be right.

You use Tumblr op

I don’t recall doing such a thing.

The homeless weirdos squatting in this abandoned shopping mall are climbing the walls again. The chaos is palpable. The smell is urine.