My Drunk Videos

Okay! Name your time.

"It's just a phase. You'll grow out of it." "Where did we go wrong? How could we raise someone who is- is Christian?!" "I hear she spreads her word all over town and gives it out to just anyone. She's a faith-whore." Doctor: "so you believe that there is an imaginary man inside you and watching over you and who talks to you. And that there is a bad guy that whispers- what did you call them? Sins? In your ear?" Christian: "And my saviour was born from Mary and the magic sperm, sans sex." Doctor: "I'm afraid that you have schizophrenia."

He tried shoving his religion down my throat for two hours. Logic and reason simply bounces off from him as his religious fervor shields him from intelligent thoughts.

I voted. Drinking away the pain from the polls. Chose the lesser of the two evils.

"What's your secret to holding your liquor?" Vodka, water, and crispy chips.

Happy fucking Halloween, bitches. Gotta keep up the tradition of vodka on the rocks.

Ugh. Why do they always come out all grainy and shit?

Well, my Facebook birthday went well and the party is still going on. Keep getting 'happy birthday' messages. The never ending torrent of happy birthday.

I've had people ask me why I am all dressed up and that I look so nice. For example, "Aw, Jeff you look so nice. Why are you all dressed up today?" And I always want to respond, "Well, the gay fairies woke me up this morning and pampered me, dressed me, and styled my hair. Then they gave me a big gay kiss and sent me on my way." But I cant because, us gays aren't supposed to talk about the fairies. Trade secret. Don't want the straights to steal them.

I fucking hate the sound of people chewing while I am trying to study.

A: When it's wet, it's time to go inside  It's only raining men here.

When a bartender doesn't get your jokes. So bad. Not.