Secondhand Scholarship

Rumi Doesn’t Like When Zoey Dates Other People, Including Mira

From this post, it appears that Zoey and Rumi are polyamorous, at least in that Zoey sleeps with and/or dates other people with Rumi’s knowledge and apparent consent:

get loved gayboy : penny for your thoughts

But let’s look closer. Every single time Mira and Zoey are together, or show affection to each other, Rumi gets upset.

When Zoey then goes to a photoshoot with Mira after their first date, the next post shows that Rumi says something to Celine about being upset about something that “wasn’t that serious,” except then Mi-yeong shows up instead. Rumi DOES think Mi-yeong’s offense is serious, so it’s not that. She’s upset about Zoey being with Mira.

get loved gayboy : thank you, rumi

Zoey has lunch with Mira after the photo shoot, here’s Rumi’s reaction. Zoey immediately can tell something’s wrong. “Baby? Are you OK?” Rumi’s response, looking sad: “Yeah, of course.”

Mira accidentally ends up going grocery shopping with Zoey and Myung-soo, basically taking Rumi’s family in a handoff when Rumi has to go do something else:

get loved gayboy : 🧋

Zoey and Mira are photographed together in what looks like a kiss at the end of the shopping trip, which Rumi didn’t even know was happening, and Rumi sees, and Rumi is so upset and distracted that she doesn’t hear Jinu talking to her, but plays it off as being about finding out her mom Mi-yeong slept with someone else before she was born (and that’s how Rumi was conceived). More on this later.

get loved gayboy : I promise

When Mira shows up at Rumi’s exhibit after kissing Zoey (unbeknownst to Rumi), Rumi immediately folds her arms and adopts a defensive posture.

get loved gayboy : chances

When Mira apologizes about the photo, Rumi stutters when she claims that she’s not upset about that (because she’s lying), and apologizes that the exhibit (that Rumi) wasn’t good enough for Mira to stay.

get loved gayboy : "...Okay."

Even after they are “together” as a throuple, Rumi still gets upset when Zoey and Mira show affection to each other.

Mira is staring at them while they cuddle with Myung-soo which prompts a “baby, you OK?” Rumi is simultaneously contacted by her sperm donor, so she has an excuse for this. But did you notice that Rumi always uses that excuse? Even when sperm donor isn’t texting her? If you go back, you’ll see that Rumi repeatedly blames her bad mood on sperm donor when Zoey or someone else asks what’s bothering her after seeing Zoey and Mira together.

get loved gayboy : returns

After Rumi wakes up after their first night together, she slips away to the kitchen. Mira asks if she’s OK, Rumi replies she’s “just … in my head.” Again, sperm donor has just texted, giving her a plausible alternative explanation. Hey, did you notice that Rumi is covering up her tattoos completely, the tattoos of every flower Zoey ever gave her? Which could mean nothing.

get loved gayboy : [present] that would be enough

After Zoey wakes up that morning, right after kissing Mira goodbye she can tell Rumi is upset and confronts her. Rumi is “covering up” (her tattoos), she’s “being quiet,” and Rumi could very easily say it’s sperm donor (Suho is his real name), but she doesn’t, not until Zoey pushes and says “don’t lie to me.” And Zoey buys it. And offers to stay. And Rumi refuses. How could she take Zoey away from someone who makes her so happy?

get loved gayboy : talk

get loved gayboy : "I promise."

Here’s how Rumi looks after seeing Mira and Zoey kiss goodbye, after the first night together, when she goes to visit her mothers. Celine is so worried.

get loved gayboy : making up for what we're missing

I wonder what Celine thinks of Mira? After seeing how upset Rumi has been?

get loved gayboy : meeting the in laws

Rumi Is The Third Wheel In This Version Of Polytrix

Yes, even though she’s married to Zoey, Rumi is very much the “third” in this relationship. First of all, Zoey says that Mira is the first person who’s made her feel like Rumi has, but Rumi doesn’t say it back. This is not a relationship where Rumi and Mira have a relationship equivalent to Rumi and Zoey (or Zoey and Mira, stay tuned for that).

get loved gayboy : [between firsts and aftermath] "We'll figure this…

When Mira visits for the first time, Zoey gets the first kiss.

get loved gayboy : first visit

When they soft-launch the relationship, Zoey’s caption is “all ours.” Rumi’s is basically “my son prefers Mira to me.”

get loved gayboy : 🤳🏼

While Zoey and Mira figure out their travel schedule, they cuddle up with each other and Myung-soo, while Rumi sits alone across from them.

get loved gayboy : returns

After they sleep together for the first time, Zoey and Mira are cuddled up nice and tight to the point that Rumi was able to slip out and get dressed without anyone noticing until she tucked Mira and Zoey in tighter. If those two are hugging each other so tightly, who’s hugging Rumi?

get loved gayboy : [present] mornings

Rumi has a new wallpaper already, after seeing Zoey and Mira and Myung-soo together: a beautiful family photo of the three of them. A beautiful, happy, complete family. What’s that you say? Someone’s missing from this photo? Could have fooled me.

get loved gayboy : rumi's new wallpaper

When it’s time to wake Zoey, Rumi and Mira go to get Myung-soo to wake Zoey up...but who actually does the waking? Not Rumi.

get loved gayboy : breakfast in bed for mama

In the meantime, it’s implied that Zoey and Mira are together a ton for work; how often are either of them alone with Rumi (not counting times when Zoey and Rumi are together with Myung-soo)? For example:

get loved gayboy : "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

Rumi appreciates what time they do have together (even though it’s suddenly only with Mira, never Rumi with either of the others), to the point that when Zoey offers to stay, Rumi refuses because Zoey and Mira “deserve” time alone together with Zoey “all dolled up in Mira’s pretty clothes.” They deserve to be happy together; wonder what Rumi thinks she deserves for herself?

get loved gayboy : tender mornings

In bed, who gets marked up in the throes of passion, I wonder? Who is worthy of desire? Do you even need to click through for the evidence? To see who’s wearing a patch, who’s wearing a turtleneck, and whose neck is bare and unmarked? (Prince you were so filthy for this one)

get loved gayboy : busy afternoon

get loved gayboy : yours, still

On Mira’s private jet, he and Zoey have sex, and Zoey joins the mile high club without Rumi. I wonder if Mira and Rumi have ever had sex alone? Doesn’t seem like it. I wonder when was the last time Rumi and Zoey had sex? (Last confirmed time is back after they first met Mira). According to prince, they've been together about a month, and Zoey and Mira have spent a ton of time together and are about to spend more time together on the other side of the world from Rumi. How much of their relationship exists without Rumi already?

get loved gayboy : mile high club

Zoey hates flying (with Rumi), but Rumi can see Zoey feels safe with Mira (safer with Mira).

get loved gayboy : safe

When Zoey announces her (their) relationship with Mira, Rumi’s an ocean away with Myung-soo, missing them terribly, texting Zoey. Has Zoey texted her yet? Mira’s sent a couple at least. Both about Zoey. Neither of them have asked Rumi how she is. Neither has offered her support, even though she’s about to meet her transphobic sperm donor for the first time. But hey, Zoey looks great in Mira’s clothes, and better with them off, and Rumi's probably fine. She's always saying so, right? "I'm fine?"

get loved gayboy : articles and updates

When Jinu expresses regret that Rumi is about to receive an award alone, he doesn’t mention Mira. And Rumi already feels like it’s imposing on Mira and Zoey’s time together to even tell them that she’s about to win an award. Shame Mira never offered to make something for Rumi to wear to the event, or for any purpose, but why would she? It’s not like Rumi’s as worthy of Mira’s inspiration as Zoey is, right?

get loved gayboy : decisions made

At some point in the future (maybe when Rumi meets them in Europe?) Zoey and mira are holding hands, Zoey is smiling at Rumi, and the only person touching or looking at Rumi is Myung-soo. Who is being carried by Mira. His new favorite.

get loved gayboy : [future] pool day

Mira Keeps Making The Third Wheel Problem Worse By Mistake

There are a few good examples of Mira’s good intentions here that I’m not going to link to much, but they genuinely appears to be concerned with Rumi’s emotional well-being (more even than Zoey is), and makes a good effort. But he doesn’t see the dynamic yet, and so he keeps making things worse.

From the very first meeting, Mira makes it clear (to Rumi) that she’s interested in Zoey, not Rumi. “Nice to meet you both,” but Mira’s “looking forward to working with you again, Jung Zoey.” Rumi doesn't have a name yet.

get loved gayboy : crush

At the beginning and end of their first (and only) solo coffee, Mira again reinforces that her primary interest is in Zoey, and Rumi is just Zoey’s accessory: “Mrs. Zoey’s wife, Rumi.” Progress?

get loved gayboy : deal?

By the end of the coffee “date,” in which it appears the conversation is mostly about Zoey and Myung-soo, Rumi has lost her name. “See ya, Mrs. Zoey’s wife.” Oh well. Nice being a person while it lasted.

get loved gayboy : coffee date

This isn’t intentional; if anything, Mira’s probably trying to avoid being too obvious about her attraction. She literally buys a magazine to stare at pictures of Rumi, and bemoans that she (presumably Rumi) is married. But Rumi doesn’t know that. All she knows is Mira wants Zoey, and Zoey wants Mira, and Rumi is Zoey’s wife whom Mira wants to be on good terms with while Mira and Zoey get together.

get loved gayboy : helpless

The next time Mira is supposed to see Rumi, he bails, because they think they don’t deserve the family Zoey and Rumi have made, but Rumi doesn’t know that. She just thinks this is a clear message that Mira wants Zoey, and doesn’t give a shit about Rumi.

get loved gayboy : "...my wife and my son are the most important...

Mira kisses Rumi and says she’s wanted to kiss her since the moment he saw her, but let’s be real: Mira is with Zoey all the time for work and pleasure, this is the second time Mira and Rumi have really interacted. Rumi might be flattered, even overwhelmed, that someone like Mira is willing to even say they want her like this. But does she believe it? How could she, when she can see how much time Mira has made for Zoey, and how little Mira has made for her? But Rumi, as always, will survive on scraps (because she doesn't deserve anything else); the throuple begins.

get loved gayboy : firsts

“I’m stealing Zoey away for two weeks” is terrible phrasing, Mira. All Rumi can ask for is help making breakfast. That’s all she thinks she deserves to ask for, after Mira and Zoey slept so beautifully and contentedly in each other’s arms, and Rumi was in the bed too for a while.

get loved gayboy : [present] that would be enough

Looping back to the trip, when Zoey and Mira are in New York, Mira is trying, but they’re texts all come off as “look how safe and happy Zoey is with me.” Mira’s trying, but she doesn’t know what she’s doing, because she never got to know Rumi before pursuing this. She never laid the foundation she laid with Zoey. One coffee date and a kiss does not establish an equal relationship as compared to someone you see all the time for work, have gone out with multiple times outside of work, and whom you’re about to take on your private jet solo for two weeks (or until Rumi and Myung-soo join them, if that happens).

Zoey Isn’t Attentive Enough To Rumi’s Needs

Let’s frame this first: Zoey knew Rumi before Rumi came out as trans. Before they got together, the things Zoey complimented Rumi on were that she was pretty (the prettiest girl Zoey knew), and that she was nice.

get loved gayboy : [past] "I wish everyone could be nice like you..."

What Zoey says is that her “wife and son are the most important thing” to her. But is that true?

Zoey says that because Mira hurt Rumi badly by promising to come to her gallery showing and ditching (because Mira was worried they didn’t deserve to intrude upon Zoey and Rumi’s family and ran). But even though Zoey is mad about Mira hurting Rumi, KNOWS that Mira hurt Rumi, her wife, what does she do? She takes Mira out on a date and makes heart eyes at them and gives Mira her number.

She kisses Mira, and is on the verge of having sex with Mira, and has gotten to that point despite Mira not apologizing, and expressly only stops because she wants Mira to apologize before they sleep together. That’s the red line for Zoey. Not “you need to woo Rumi too,” even though Mira does. Not “I won’t do this if she’s not part of it,” because Zoey would fuck Mira even if Rumi never saw Mira again. Apologize for hurting my wife and we can have sex, because you hurting her was not a red line for me in this relationship.

get loved gayboy : [between 'go for it, zoey!' and 'chances'] choices

I referenced this scene earlier in the post, but Zoey then confesses to Rumi that she has never felt about anyone the way she feels about Mira. She corrects herself, saying “not since you,” but do you think Rumi believed that part? Or do you think she listened to the correction and heard a lie? Something to take the sting away? Has Rumi ever been enough for Zoey? Now that Zoey has found someone more attractive and at least as nice as Rumi, someone whom Zoey has feelings for like no one else, someone who makes Zoey smile like Rumi doesn’t anymore, who can satisfy Zoey in bed like Rumi never could (or else why has Zoey always wanted to sleep with other people?), where does that leave Rumi?

This one is just a set up, but Rumi, who wants nothing more than to be Zoey’s, who took Zoey’s name, who makes art of Zoey, who irrevocably marked her body with every flower Zoey ever bought her, is promising to call and text. Will Zoey answer, though? Zoey, who wears Mira’s clothes, and Mira’s bite marks, and nothing indelible of Rumi?

get loved gayboy : promises

They haven’t really talked about a hard launch, but Zoey does it anyway, alone, without Rumi there, without consulting Rumi. Rumi couldn’t make it. Rumi had something else that she never told Zoey about because she felt so excluded from her marriage that Rumi didn’t think Zoey would want to celebrate Rumi. Rumi thought Zoey would be happier with Mira. Think she was right?

get loved gayboy : a quick interview

Stack this on top of ALL THE TIMES above that Rumi has been visibly upset immediately after Zoey showed affection towards Mira, that Zoey has never clocked. I wonder who suggested polyamory first? Was it Zoey, because she wanted to sleep with other people? Or was it Rumi, who saw how Zoey looked at someone else and decided she would never be enough, and she would rather keep Zoey by letting Zoey find what Rumi couldn’t give her with others?

I'll add a small caveat: it's not that Zoey doesn't care about Rumi at all. Zoey REPEATEDLY notices that Rumi is upset and asks her about it and pushes for an answer, but never gets a true, or complete at least, answer as to why. Zoey doesn't put together how every time Rumi is upset immediately follows Zoey and Mira together. And how could she? Because if Rumi is hurt by Zoey being with other people, that would mean Zoey's been hurting Rumi, and Rumi's been lying to Zoey, for however long they've been polyamorous.

Rumi’s Anger at Mi-yeong Is Actually Her Anger At Zoey

OK, this is a big one: I don’t think Rumi’s anger at Mi-yeong is primarily about Mi-yeong sleeping with someone else and hurting Celine. This was years ago, before Rumi was born, and Celine and Mi-yeong have moved past it, so why is Rumi so bothered by the fact that Mi-yeong slept with someone else while she and Celine still had feelings for each other even though it wasn’t actually cheating?

Huh. Does that sound like a situation Rumi is familiar with?

For her whole marriage (I’m guessing, I don’t think we have a timeframe on the polyamory), I think Zoey has been sleeping with other people. Zoey’s pursuit of Mira as a “no big deal” moment doesn’t make sense unless this is a pattern. It doesn’t appear Zoey was romantically involved with any of her past partners, and says outright she never felt about any of them the way she feels about Rumi, but that means that, while they were in love, Zoey has slept with other people, while she and Rumi were in love, and Rumi said yes so it’s not cheating, even if Rumi doesn’t like it. If this is something Rumi has been hurt by the entire time they’ve been together, is it any wonder she reacts so harshly when she finds out her mom did this to Celine? That she doesn’t care that it meant nothing to Mi-yeong, because that’s what Zoey says about the people she sleeps with I’m sure, but it still means something to Rumi. Suho was a “mistake;” is Rumi Zoey’s mistake? Rumi can't get mad at Zoey, Zoey might leave her, but Rumi can get mad at her mom without consequence. Note how Rumi closes herself off with her folded arms when she’s upset (just like she does so often with Mira and Zoey in the present).

get loved gayboy : [past] storm part 2

Rumi doesn’t want to know about the other guy (does she want to know about the people Zoey sleeps with?):

get loved gayboy : forgiveness

Rumi doesn’t forgive Mi-yeong until Mi-yeong expresses regret for hurting Celine and says she spends every day making sure she’ll never see that look on her face again. I wonder how much Rumi wishes Zoey would do that? Would realize how much she’s hurt Rumi, and commit to never doing it again?

get loved gayboy : "We'll be there."

Bringing this back from Jinu: “Aunt Celine is a better woman than me! We were ‘on a break,’ please—” This comment, about being unwilling to forgive a sexual relationship with someone else that is not technically cheating but nonetheless feels like a betrayal of an active emotional bond, is juxtaposed with Rumi finding out that Zoey and Mira were maybe kissing in public and spending time together that Rumi didn’t know about.

get loved gayboy : I promise

On top of that, we’ve already seen how often, almost universally, Rumi claims that her being upset at Mira and Zoey’s closeness is actually about her mom and Suho. How much of that deflection is conscious? How much is Rumi subconsciously taking Celine’s place in her mind, with Zoey taking the role of the Mi-yeong who didn’t appreciate Celine enough or show her enough love, who slept with someone else who meant nothing to her?

Only now Zoey is sleeping with someone who does mean something to her. Whom she feels at least as strongly for, in just a few months, as she has ever felt about Rumi. Does Rumi even have a place with them anymore?

The Future

Where to we go from here? I can only give my speculation, but I think this throuple is deeply broken, and we are far from the end of this story. Rumi can’t even say out loud how she feels. The public is probably about to make a big deal about how Zoey and Mira chose to travel together instead of attending Rumi’s award show (which is “tomorrow” at the status of the FKAU at the time of this post). I expect Zoey and Mira to be upset by this, and at least Zoey to be upset Rumi didn’t tell her about it. But will either of them realize why yet? Will either of them see how little Rumi thinks she matters to them?

Regardless of how that plays out, I see one of two things happening short term. Either there’s a big fight and someone leaves (I’m guessing Zoey leaves Mira based upon prince’s use of the song “Maroon”’s lyrics as captions for recent posts), or they stay together and Rumi and Myung-soo make the trip to Europe. If the latter, I think things just are going to continue to get worse; look for more instances of Rumi isolating intentionally, or unintentionally being isolated or ignored by Mira and especially Zoey. I don’t think Zoey will text or call almost at all while she and Mira are away. I think, if they're together, Zoey will be all over Mira, and Mira and Zoey will sometimes check in with Rumi, and Rumi will say she's fine.