fly high ritz boozy brunch 🫡

Scientology’s creation myth involves a cruel ruler inflicting spiritual and psychological damage upon a populace which continues to be perpetuated into the modern day. The belief is that over the course of infinite lives, a person’s attitudes and actions are informed by damaging experiences from current & past lifetimes (called “incidents”) and externally-imposed, fictitious memories which command the behavior of people (called “implants”). As a relevant example, the founder of Scientology taught that the concept of heaven itself was a “deceptive implant”.

In the context of GO, “incidents” would be the lived trauma of the characters, while “implants” could be mapped onto the Metatron’s “fiddling” with the Book of Life, angels & demons exerting influence over human memory, Satan’s ability to dispense information directly into the minds of demons, or God’s ultimate game of Solitaire. 

The founder of Scientology claimed that these incidents and implants should be “audited out”, or removed, to restore a person’s “full spiritual potential”. To erase traumas from past lives, the Church of Scientology uses a pseudotherapy called “auditing” to take a participant into a heightened state of suggestibility and address emotional burdens stemming from their past lives. Removal of the pain of these incidents and implants through the auditing process is marketed to help people become “more sane”, attain spiritual “Total Freedom”, and further the evolution of mankind.

In the 70s, NG himself was an auditor of an “unusually high-ranking position given his age”, acting as a minister who would conduct this auditing process within the Church of Scientology for 3 years.

A Deeper Exploration of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is underbaked in this finale.

As we head into the endgame, the imminent threat is Michael, who is actively destroying the universe and will eventually destroy herself when she is unable to accept forgiveness from her peers.

Time constraints aside, from a narrative perspective, why did the scriptwriters choose to let Jesus flake away with a weak joke instead of loading him into the backseat of the Bentley and taking him along to the Eternal Flame to confront Michael?

Good Omens has always been a humanist work. Why not have Jesus, the very bridge between humanity and the divine, there to try to forgive one of humanity’s broken celestial overseers? The Light of the World at the light of the universe, offering to cleanse Michael of the sins she and the rest of the Heavenly host committed while carrying out their interpretations of God’s Plan, a perfect parallel to:

“Father, please. You have to forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing.”

More crucially for the story, after spending their last few years apart and in pain, Aziraphale and Crowley needed to finally bridge their differences about what exactly forgiveness means to them. To Aziraphale, forgiveness is akin to Jungian unconditional regard, while to Crowley, forgiving designates an action as wrongdoing, something that needs to be forgiven. Regrettably, this gap in communication goes unresolved as scripted.

"Before anything else happens, um… there is one more thing that needs fixing." "What?" "I need you to forgive me."

"No, don’t do the dance." "Well?" "Eh, I forgive you."

Their discussion is stilted and provides extraordinarily little resolution to their conflict. Aziraphale asks to be broadly forgiven, and Crowley forgives him dispassionately. They never truly reconcile their perspectives on how they hurt one another. 

Same as always. They never talk about anything. They continue their dance around what they’re really feeling, but this time surrounded by the void of a now-absent universe. How dismal to be at the end of all time and never heal that wound. 

"You and Mr. Fell don’t ever talk to each other."

In parallel to S2, a third party (in this case, Jesus, symbol of limitless forgiveness) could have been the one to call them out on their avoidance and encourage them to delve deeper into what it is that they really needed to say to one another.

In fact, the last time we see Jesus on screen, he stands in Whickber Street reading people's hearts and telling them exactly what they need to hear to heal. He looks deep into their secret soul- it's a knack.

Have Jesus guide the discussion so that it becomes clear that Crowley understood what Aziraphale was saying at the Chinese restaurant, before a flurry of supporting cast derailed their dinner: that Aziraphale made his choice to return to Heaven for both them and humanity. The hard choice, but one that could be made at all because they had taught one another the bravery necessary to do what they know is right in their hearts.

Having Jesus present as a mediator to this conversation would have also tied nicely into what is to come shortly: our duo will have another brave decision to make together. The hardest choice of all, what is “right” above what is easy: a self-sacrifice, just as Jesus made, for the sake of a humanity they would no longer live among. 

Three Card Monte and Fatalism

The three-card monte returns in the finale, this time to have us question: What value does individual choice have within a rigged game?

Crowley has spent his final years sunk in gambling, losing in perpetuity.

“You're a loser, Crowley. You only ever come here to lose.”

Aziraphale has also lost in gambling. 

“This life, blinds you to what matters, right? I had kids, you know? Missed 'em growing up, didn't I, cos I was too bloody busy working the cards.” -Harry the Fish

"I don't want an awful, judgy Second Coming with those scary horses and half the world being smited. If I'm the boss..." "But you're not! And you never will be, there's always someone above you stacking the deck."

Aziraphale risked the life he had carved out for himself to take a chance on repairing a broken system, only to ultimately make no difference- this Earth will conclude, one way or another. The geography of the Apocalypse was immaterial.

Was fatalism on anyone’s GO3 bingo card?

Then we have Jesus, who spends what precious little time exists of his subplot learning the Monte/Find the Lady because he’d been misled to think it would help him understand his higher purpose. 

“It's the right thing to do. It's a way to reach out to people. I'm pretty sure that's what the lady is. It's people finding peace and love and happiness.” -Jesus

Predestination, however, means there is no such thing as a game of skill and chance.

God: That's free will. Crowley: Free will? Nah, it's just a card trick, isn't it? The suckers think they're playing for real. But the dealer knows. Nobody finds the lady unless she wants them to.

Jesus, Aziraphale, and Crowley: all denied their own peace, love, and happiness because their roles in God’s cast of characters are what continuously deny it to them. 

Between Nina’s coffee shop in S2 being named in reference to the Patrick Henry quote, “Give me liberty, or give me death!”, and the fact that 668: The Neighbor of the Beast would have had a setting in America, I can imagine how the concept of the rights to “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” might have tied into the overarching plot of a full S3. In a fatalist universe, how can our characters liberate themselves from the card dealer and have a real life and real chance to pursue happiness?

This revelation (yeah) about the universe of GO3 appears to be in total opposition with the original novel’s theme of self-determinism. Maybe this reversal was intended to be explored in 668: The Neighbor of the Beast as a counterpoint to the original novel, or maybe this is just a more Gaiman/Smith/Atkins worldview. 

Either way, this makes it a bit easier to compartmentalize GO3 as a “what if?” scenario and makes the ending sort of symbolic of the characters rejecting the scriptwriter’s authorial control over of their narrative. If it’s any consolation. 

Humanity as the Greatest Force

In a series built upon a chiastic structure, we’re missing a parallel to the duo’s last stand with Adam, one that centers humanity during the final conflict. 

Jesus needed to be a voice in that room.

Aziraphale and Jesus have always served as foil characters, and along with Crowley, share the pain of having suffered as the pawns of an unknowable Creator. All will eventually have played the role of martyrs for humanity’s ultimate salvation.

“You should know why you’re about to die. God has abandoned you. The God who claims to love you, who demands your praise, has given you up to be destroyed. Bad luck.”

It’s an unfair existence to be dealt, and if Jesus had been given a larger role in the finale, we could have had insight to the personal weight of being handed that role in the story.

Given the time constraints, we lost room for a complete character arc for Jesus- one that was confirmed to be part of the original scripts- plotted to intersect with Adam the Antichrist. Presumably, just like Adam, we would have had an arc of Jesus rejecting the role he has been given in facilitating the End Times. 

When God appears within the bookshop and offers to answer one question for each character, what would Jesus have asked Her?

Newly reincorporated, just before the very end of the universe, and pondering his purpose in a world that had moved on without him, Jesus was only ever returned to a mortal body to be used as a tool to enact the Second Coming- a role that was functionally assumed by Michael. In what way would Jesus confront God after learning that he has always been utterly denied the right to self-determination within this universe?

How does Jesus, the human component of the triune godhead, originally given a human nature so he could suffer and offer redemption to humanity, then rebel against his forced return and transcend his given role in favor of humanity?

Alright, let’s say we can’t fit Jesus in this room. As we wrap up in this universe, humanity is unable to be centered in taking control of its fate because humanity is now… just gone, like it never existed. Thank you Michael.

How can we still have a human perspective present in the final conflict?

"Form shapes nature. There are certain ways of behavior appropriate to small scruffy dogs which are in fact welded into the genes. You can't just become small-dog-shaped and hope to stay the same person; a certain intrinsic small-dogness begins to permeate your very being."

“Being a demon, of course, was supposed to mean you had no free will. But you couldn’t hang around humans for very long without learning a thing or two.”

Growing up alongside humanity, on their own side as protectors of the human experience, has granted Aziraphale and Crowley a humanization unlike any other angel or demon. Being incorporated and living on Earth has inherently changed them. The duo can stand in on behalf of humanity, because in many ways they are effectively human. 

Then the scriptwriters make another contentious choice. 

In the presence of the highest power, Aziraphale leans back on the logic of Crowley and himself having been the best… angels.

It’s deeply regressive to Aziraphale’s growth as a character. How have we not transcended these labels by this point in time? 

Aziraphale argues with the Almighty for insulting his human traits (lazy, gluttonous, prideful) but does not recognize them explicitly as the valuable traits they are, the ones that have let him interface with humanity and its customs throughout time. 

Instead, he asserts himself as a good angel, and Crowley the very best of them.

Aziraphale has long exploited logical loopholes to continue experiencing Earth’s gifts while also maintaining ultimate faith in God's Plan being a good but unknowable one. In the series, he has also spent his existence denying himself, keeping his partner at a distance in the interest of their safety. Now in the finale, he resigns himself to having been just a character in Her book all along. Time is over, and he has not yet reached self-actualization and broken free of being Her tool. What a brutal script.

“Who do you think the best angel was?”  “This one.” 

It's troubling that this might be Aziraphale’s way of saying directly to God that Crowley never deserved to be punished for their questioning in the first place, because it is worded as if Aziraphale is still equating one’s capacity for goodness to their angelic status.

I think we can all agree that "the best angel” is an entirely inappropriate label for Crowley, who renounced his angelic identity, who believes in a sense of justice far greater and fairer than that of God herself, and who will advocate that people deserve a just world beyond the one they were given: one that is destined for condemnation now that She is done playing dollhouse with this particular set of characters.

Instead of having Aziraphale assert Crowley's virtues as an angel, here is what I think would have made for an incredibly profound scene, if we had had Jesus in the room with us:

It’s the Second Coming. Jesus is supposed to be judging people for their deeds and relationship with Christ.

Aziraphale has always aimed to do right by humanity, even when it meant difficult choices and taking great personal risk. He worked alongside his co-conspirator to shield a powerless humanity when opportunities to do so would present themselves, but he never wavered in his trust in the Almighty. Have Jesus affirm Aziraphale for the way he has lived his life. Let a human voice give him the validation for his good works that he never received from Her.

Crowley showed Jesus compassion by turning his temptation of him into a kind-hearted display, still held enough faith to plead to God to spare humanity and deliver a sensible Great Plan, and as a former demon could still invoke the name “Jesus”. Have a human incarnate, the very one sent to atone for the original sin that Crowley brought into the world, judge him as a good and worthy being in a total reversal of God’s rejection of him.

An earned forgiveness, and "goodness" by humanity's definition.

In the novel and S1, the paintball fight at Tadfield Manor mirrored the war in Heaven: both were about establishing leadership potential. In a sort of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory way, Jesus’s judgement of the duo could have served as a bookend tying into exactly why God lets them choose a new set of rules for the universe to come- because their nature, when tested, has made them worthy heirs to the role of Creator.

“It's not our job to advise The Almighty on the details of creation.” “Well, if I was the one running it all…”

When Jesus was crucified, Aziraphale and Crowley stood by idly and watched, not consulted on policy decisions. What will come next is the policy decision of all policy decisions. 

Bearing the Cross and Liberation

In parallel with the final 15 minutes of S2, this is our character’s opportunity to take charge in the narrative, this time for real. And with the options given to our characters within the screenplay, they’ll be doing the hard thing. 

To revisit: Jesus, Aziraphale, and Crowley have all been denied their own peace, love, and happiness because their roles in God’s cast of characters has continuously denied it to them. 

When Satan arrives in the bookshop, Aziraphale even asks the Devil himself to reflect on having been cast in his role by the Almighty:

“So, you're the Devil. Hm. It can't have been much fun for you.”

“...you’ve just been a stand-in in a cosmic game of solitaire.”

In the book, Crowley actually surmises this after the first Apocalypse is averted: everyone and everything might be part of God’s game of Solitaire with Himself. In this sense, reality in Good Omens would be divinity itself, the universe a manifestation of God present in all things as He plays His ineffable game.

To me, within the boundaries of the novel/S1, this would have been a perfect answer (not that we ever expected to get one) to what the Ineffable Plan for humanity actually was. Something a little bit pantheist: that if everything in the universe was part of God’s game with Herself, then looking for purpose and questioning to try to understand the divine, which Crowley stands for above all else, was the way the conscious parts of the universe got to experience itself.

In the original novel, the cast of Heaven and Hell are blinded by political dogma, but Aziraphale and Crowley work together in proof that there is no such thing as a timeless enemy, and Adam rejects the destiny these higher powers try to force upon him.

Maybe there was no definitive will or Great Plan, because humanity’s role in the game was simply curiosity, desire, and inquiry, right from the start.

"Not very subtle of the Almighty, though. Fruit tree in the middle of a garden with a “Don’t Touch” sign. Makes you wonder what God’s really planning."

Now, with the explanation for Satan’s manifestation in the bookshop at the end of the series, we’ve canonized this complicated Solitaire, but this time the reveal comes in Dark Cosmic Horror flavor: in this winding down universe, everything in existence was God’s game of Find the Lady, keeping her entertained. Everyone in that room, an extension of herself within a game of her own devising.

"...we were just characters in her book."

And they’re all only there now, at the end of everything, because it’s a “tidy way to finish.”

“Angel… what if the Almighty planned it like this all along? From the very beginning?” “Could have. I wouldn’t put it past her.”

Now confirmed in the bleakest manner. We’ve undermined Adam’s character arc- his rejection of fate was only ever one of God’s season finales.

“A story doesn’t have to go beyond the last page of its book, Crowley, and that story is over.”

It feels sinister. Which makes tonal sense for this kind of ideological confrontation- the God of GO3 is not just the mother to mankind and Her Heavenly host who has been, for the most part, disinclined to speak with Her creation. She’s the final force opposing their continued existence.

Comedy show, btw

Our last advocates left to stand up for humanity against a God who has finished with their story are Aziraphale and Crowley. The most human angel and former demon, a new bridge between humanity and the divine now that we don't have Jesus around.

Aziraphale has called everyone but Crowley just characters in God’s book, but that’s alright, because just like in the novel/S1, the ending was always going to be about usurping your Creator as advocates for the world.

“I don't accept that. And I do not accept that you're the one that gets to make all these decisions.”

Although, the logic starts to fold in on itself- to what degree are they all still playing their parts in the series finale to God’s great big soap opera?

Maybe Jesus isn't here with us because all the triune godhead stuff was for giggles, like the dinosaur skeletons.

(It’s because of a truncated script.) 

In any case, Aziraphale and Crowley privately discuss that people are deserving of true free will. It goes unexplored, but in a way their choice is liberation for everyone- themselves included. 

No matter the outcome, even though they don’t expect even a fragment of themselves to survive their decision, they are freeing themselves from the puppetry of a higher power after serving as the players in God’s “predictable” romcom-tragedy that always made her smile. 

“Nobody finds the lady unless she wants them to.”

In this way they’re choosing each other, except it’s like Romeo & Juliet, or Antony & Cleopatra.

“This is one of Shakespeare’s gloomy ones, is it?”

They have a loaded and philosophical decision to make, the most massive one in the entire series.

But on screen, Aziraphale and Crowley take minimal advantage of their private time to discuss what it means to not only self-sacrifice but to give up one another to let everything else become "real".