Lower Case penguin

If Cthulhu can be summoned by humans who are so far beneath it, why can’t humans be summoned by ants? The answer is they should be.

Well if a bunch of ants formed a circle in my house I’d certainly notice, try to figure out where they’d all come from, and possibly wreak destruction there.

That’s why knowing and correctly pronouncing the true name is so important to the ritual. Imagine how impossible it would be to not go take a look if the circle of ants started chanting your name. And they’re like, you can’t leave because we drew a line made of tiny crystals - now you have to do us a favor. And you’re like, let’s just see where this goes “yup, you got me… what’s the favor?” and usually the favor is like, “kill this one ant for us” or “give me a pile of sugar” and you’re like… okay? and you do, because why not, it isn’t hard for you and boy is this going to be a fucking story to tell, these fucking ants chanting your name and wanting a spoonful of sugar or whatever. And SOMEtimes you get asked for things you can’t really do, one of them, she’s like, “I love this ant but she won’t pay any attention to me, make me important to her” and you’re like… um? how? So you just kill every ant in the colony except the two of them, ta-da! problem solved! and the first ant is like *horrified whisper* “what have I done”

This is the best explanation for higher powers I’ve ever really heard.

When trains were introduced in the U.S, many people believed that that “women’s bodies were not designed to go at 50 miles an hour,” and that their “uteruses would fly out of [their] bodies if they were accelerated to that speed.”

I have so much respect for historical women not murdering every man they know

I gotta send him a letter. This young man is fighting for justice and helping the #blacklivesmatter movement.

This movie was amazing

Here we are a year later. Same drama. No, different drama, same feelings.

Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself. And then the murders began.

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And then the murders began.

The phantom of the opera did exist. And then the murders begun.

Maman died today. And then the murders began. 

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. And then the murders began.

In 1815 Monsieur Charles-Francois-Bienvenu Myriel was Bishop of Digne. And then the murders began.

In an old house in Paris, that was covered in vines, lived twelve little girls in two straight lines. And then the murders began.

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. And then the murders began.

“Where’s Papa going with that axe?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast. And then the murders began.

Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans. And then the murders began.

“Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents,” grumbled Jo, lying on the rug. And then the murders began.

In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit. And then the murders began.

In the nighttime heart of Beirut, in one of a row of general-address transfer booths, Louis Wu flickered into reality. And then the murders began.

There was Eru, the One, who in Arda is called Ilúvatar; and he made first the Ainur, the Holy Ones, that were the offspring of his thought, and they were with him before aught else was made. And then the murders began.

if you’re embarrassed by the person you were 5 years ago, good. bc it means you’ve grown. you’ve educated yourself and expanded your horizons. given half the chance, I’d deck 2011 me right in the face . 

i honestly wanted to die last night but that’s also what pence wants and i am, if nothing else, a creature fueled by spite.

This never stops being relevant and good