"I have great confidence in fools.

are you his beautiful wife? you are not his beatiful wife? sad snooting

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

rumpellestyltskihnn (mormon rumpelstiltskin)

they’re saying it’s 3am and they’re so tired and lets just drive and get out of here and then it happens and they’re like ‘well that woke me up”

This video has given youtubers permanent strikes on their account for violent content. Reblog violent content on your dash TODAY

Armand got in on the ground floor of that 20 year old loser. kept checking in on him like he was proofing sourdough until he had a beautiful geriatric fag ready to go into the oven of vampirism and emerge the perfect companion. he saw Daniel sniffing around for coke at Polynesian Mary's and said give me fifty years I can make him the hottest guy you've ever seen. and Louis was just happy he was finally taking an interest in investment because it gave them something to bond over besides missing that blond man's pussy. like it's the only long con Armand has ever successfully pulled. hard work pays off in the form of a 70something boytoy who looks suspiciously like your evil father. i'm so proud of him. my weird bug.

This was genuinely what it was like growing up in New Agey circles btw, my mum's friends would come round like "So I went out to the woods this weekend and fasted and meditated and I had a vision of the Sacred Stag and all my guardian angels and I asked them how to find love and they said that I need to focus on my own healing first and stop repeating cycles of the past" and then the very next week it'd be like "So I'm back with James again" girl..... the Sacred Stag could not have been more clear....

I was born in the exact right generation I love being an unmarried woman in my twenties with my own bank account and no children

avoidance is lowkey funny because it’s like i don’t want love on the off chance that it gets taken away from me and then i have to become john wick or something