look what I found under a leaf!

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

before this starts getting notes i have to add that this is not my dog. i dont know how he got in my backyard

someone made a terrible youtube video searching for the source of this dog picture like it's lost media and he on-screen scrolls by a live tumblr link to this post before claiming i deleted my account, pulling up a wayback machine archived page, and then lying about contacting my ex boyfriend for more information

Black people who have any form of hair at all deserve 1 million dollars.

float like a butterfly (nervously forgets end of quote) green like a pea

Here’s your reminder to not order a sandwich from the guy who lives in a shoebox. He’s really small because he fits in a shoebox but he makes regular size sandwiches. He steps all over the ingredients without using proper food safety and it’s gross. Like if he’d just keep his workspace clean and wear foot coverings it’d be not a big deal but nope! Just stomping barefoot through the bread. And don’t even get me fucking STARTED on the cross-contamination. Yeah I’m tracking ingredients everywhere and leaving little footprints in the bread I use for everyone’s sandwiches I sure hope nobody has an ALLERGY

I’ve found an unbeatable strategy to never lose an argument. If you bribe the little guys upstairs (the 51 immortal rodents who run the universe) (they like nuts and seeds) they’ll go into the books and retcon the person you disagree with into being a strawman someone made up for you to get mad at. Good luck winning now idiot I turned you into a concept

Goodnight *closes eyes and tries to not think about a white bear* oh god damn it the bear again