Catharsis

I got into my first choice university. I was beyond happy but now I’m so scared. School hasn’t even started and I feel like I’m already being scrutinised. What if no good like everyone expects? What if I completely suck what if I hate it what if I hate myself? Why is it that with every victory with every happy moment I can only envision a tragedy? A sick plot twist and downfalls. Why does the end never seem happy? Why am I always so terrified of making a choice? In times like this I try to tell myself that there is no sadness without the happiness and that there will always be room for happiness. It’s hard to believe my own words sometimes, I can only hope that whatever happens is and will for the best.

So, after a day of marinating, I have decided uncertainty isn’t always bad. Maybe there’s a strange beauty to the fogged path in your way. Maybe it’s nice that things won’t go as planned and maybe it’s fantastic even and you’ll get a nice surprise. The cynic in me says otherwise, but why continue to expect the worst when nothing has even happened yet? When anything can happen, there is no worse or best, it just is.