I'LL SCREAM

“that’s you again, doggy breath. stop blamin’ it on everybody else.”

“But I’m not the only one who does am I?”

Does she know how he felt when he destroyed their future? Does she know how he mindlessly walked and walked until he came to the conclusion that he needed to die? If he was being honest with himself the only reason he was still alive was because he didn’t want to destroy anymore lives. It was a dumb excuse but it was all he had to keep on living. 

“I’ve made a lot of bad choices in my life, but you were never one of them. I don’t regret a single second of our time together.”

“I know.” He wanted to grab for her hands and he wanted to hold her. Instead he just balled up his hands into fist and he shook it off. He turned his back to her and he walked over to the nearest wall. It would be so easy to just smash his fist against it to feel some pain. He wanted to feel something other than the hundred voices screaming in his head. 

“You….you aren’t an idiot. I wanted…I still want things to work out. I think that makes me the idiot here.”

❛  yah. it does. ❜ heavy is the heart that bleeds and oh how hers is stained with blood. maybe on some level she wants it to work out too, but she’s too consumed with guilt and self loathing. it’s easier to ruin herself, to lash out until she feels anything but pain. there’s a strong desire to hate him for what he’s done -for what he’s made her feel- but at the end of the day? she hates herself more.