*MADROX

literally just a bunch of bullshit shane madej from buzzfeed unsolved has said throughout multiple videos.  enjoy !

‘  that’s insufferable. i love it.  ’

‘  they look like someone just accidentally coughed some eyebrows onto his forehead.  ’

‘  i’m ready for death. that’s what makes me me.  ’

‘  i’m ready, every room we walk into, to die.  ’

‘  do you think he pooped himself?  ’

‘  it’s very disrespectful, but it’s human.  ’

‘  i think the moon having a boner is about as realistic as ghosts.  ’

‘  hey ghouls! the boys are here!  ’

‘  hey there demons. it’s me, ya boy.  ’

‘  you know what… let it be a mystery.  ’

‘  if you don’t like it, you can kiss my apple taters.  ’

‘  i have run the permutations through my little computer and all of them say ‘you are fucked.’  ’

‘  oh, it’s fine if people die on christmas eve.  ’

‘  what, you’ve never stabbed a guy in the heart and pushed him into the ocean?  ’

‘  i might be more scared of puppies than i am of snakes.  ’

‘  i look like a weirdo by today’s standards, but that’s okay. i feel the sexiest i’ve ever felt.  ’

‘  oh, things are going tits-up.  ’

‘  yes, i am floppy, but that’s neither here nor there.  ’

‘  everything else you have is shit.  ’

‘  i’m not gonna gloat here cause at a certain point i just feel bad for you.  ’

‘  do you tell ghost stories after sex?  ’

‘  one of my greatest fears is that someone will trick me into doing heroin.  ’

‘  i knew it, i’m a slime guy!  ’

‘  i’m not saying i’m right about everything, i just feel like i often am right about a lot of things.  ’

‘  no, no, no, no, no.  ’

‘  no, i just want to talk to the demons.  ’

‘  i’m gonna lock myself in here with a ghost.  ’

‘  i think this demon’s a wimp!  ’

‘  rock and roll, buckeroo!  ’

‘  hey, look… steal from the rich. do it!  ’

‘  can i go into work looking like this? no. this is trash.  ’

‘  i think your tummy’s got a demon.  ’

‘  i took an improv comedy class once. because i’m a white guy.  ’

‘  i’m sad and kinda delirious.  ’

‘  hey, you demon fuck!  ’

‘  i think ben franklin might have been involved in some weird sex parties.  ’

‘  it’s a nice sunset, enjoy it. it’s the last one you’re ever going to see.  ’

‘  it’s like satan’s cement butthole.  ’

‘  time’s a tickin’, show up and murder us.  ’

‘  yeah, you know, i like to keep you entertained.  ’

‘  oh shit, yeah, what about that, idiot?  ’

‘  i bet i could squeeze an apple until it exploded.  ’

‘  i’m not trying to do that whole dismiss it thing, but… i’m dismissing it.  ’

‘  shadows do tend to follow you, though… that’s sort of how they work.  ’

‘  i’m taking a selfie with some demons, yo!  ’

‘  ghost 101: one, knock book of shelf. two, uhh, hold a candlestick in the middle of the hallway. three… sheets.  ’

‘  we’re here for the cult stuff! we saw the ad on craigslist.  ’

‘  i’m ghost proof, baby!  ’

‘  honey, we gotta jazz it!  ’

‘  whatever, demon’s racist. i don’t respect this demon.  ’

‘  i’m gonna close the door and leave.  ’

‘  if you’re possessed, we’re not taking you home.  ’

‘  i worked very hard to be this tall!  ’

‘  once again not a single scratch on me, so that’s disappointing.  ’

‘  i think they would’ve been down to clown.  ’

‘  ever since then, i’ve been kind of terrified of avocados.   ’

‘  see this guys ass, by the way?  ’

‘  i’ll kill you if you touch my dog.  ’

‘  i don’t want to be a ghost hunter! this is all bullshit!  ’

Madrox has in fact always been a dork

“ i’ve never seen anything like you. “

“ move or you will be moved. “

“ hey, sailor. “

“ is there anything real about you? “

“ nevermind i take it back. “

“ i hate you. “

“ fine! do you want me to drive? “

“ man, shut the hell up. “

“ there’s nothing more horrifying than a miracle. “

“ i’m with you till the end of the line. “

“ you are a hard person to get a hold of. “

“ there’s worse ways to go. “

“ got anything for me? “

“ please, stay. “

“ it’s not your fault. “

“ didn’t see that one coming? “

“ don’t do anything stupid till i get back. “

“ is it me you see? “

“ i adore you. “

“ we don’t want to kill you, but we will. “

“ let’s kick his ass. “

“ i had no idea if that was going to work. “

“ still think you’re the only monster? “

“ i’m not going to fight you. “

“ i’m always picking up after you. “

“ hands off. “

“ he was very hot. “

“ you’re all not worthy. “

“ maybe if you were more attractive it’d be less disturbing. “

“ hey what’s up everybody! “

“ c’mon use your words! “

“ i don’t even know who you are. “

“ what? no smile? “

“ you’re not going to stop. “

“ did i step on your moment? “

“ hows my hair? “

“ no, i didn’t. but i enjoyed it “

“ in my own defense that was last week. “

“ you look taller. “

“ i get in trouble a lot. “

“ it’s a big bunny relax about it! “

“ i’m going to pretend you didn’t say that. “

“ i said kneel! “

“ that tie looks real expensive. “

“ abort mission! “

“ i understood that reference. “

“ did you just nod off? “

“ that wasn’t so bad. “

“ i can’t see into the future i’m not a witch. “

“ all yours. “

“ kind of done with you telling me what to do. “

“ i can get by on my own. “

“ i’m going to miss these little talks of ours. “

“ don’t worry (pronoun)’s got help. “

“ yes, i think it works. “

“ then he stabbed me. “

“ (pronoun) made a different call. “

“ that’s not up to you. “

“ higher further faster baby. “

“ i’m turning into you. it’s a horrible dream. “

“ destiny arrives all the same. “

“ what makes you happy? “

“ you don’t want any part of this. “

“ do you even speak latin? “

“ i guess you go through me. “

“ anyone else? “

“ you and i remember budapest very differently! “

“ looks like you’re giving the orders now. “

“ piss off ghost! “

“ i know my worth. “

“ (pronoun)’s not alone. “

“ varies from moment to moment. “

“ surprise! “

“ i don’t see how that’s a party. “

“ if only (pronoun/name) could see you now. “

“ i thought you were dead. “

“ i retire for what? five minutes and everything goes to shit? “

“ and in return i’m going to let you keep your hand. “

“ you weren’t there. “

“ i like her. “

“ who the hell is ___? “

“ i don’t know if i’m worth all this. “

“ i need the other guy. “

“ i was attacked! “

“ compromise where you can, but where you can’t, don’t. “

“ i don’t feel so good. “

“ that’s not what everyone else sees. “

“ but i knew (pronoun)  “

“ believe it or not, it’s hard to find someone with shared life experience. “

“ do not touch me again. “

“ before you didn’t have me. “

“ i didn’t want you to be alone. “

“ i’m always angry. “

“ okay… that one’s on me. “

“ i’m not asking for permission. “

“ you still owe me a dance. “

“ none of this makes sense!” 

“ don’t take my stuff. “

rp sentence starters using lines from r.h. sin’s work , whiskey words and a shovel I  part one / part two / part three