scoopstroop

I’m writing my novel in fifth person, so every sentence starts with “I heard from this guy who told somebody...”

ravioli ravioli give me emotional stabilitioli

I wish I put as much effort into my life as Phil Collins did into the Tarzan soundtrack

Someone told my ex-dad (not a sex thing; he just disowned me) that I’m trans and now he’s threatening to come to work and make a scene, and I know I should be upset, but like. What’s he gonna say exactly? And to whom? Because imagining a haggard and likely shitfaced Pennsylvania construction worker barging through the grocery store like, “HEY!!! THAT BROAD-HIPPED 5'3” EFFEMINATE KID WITH THE CONSPICUOUSLY BIZARRE NAME WHO SPEAKS IN A CARTOONISHLY AFFECTED CARICATURE OF MASCULINITY AIN’T GOT NO DICK!!! YOU GONNA BUY SCRATCH OFF TICKETS FROM SOME KINDA DICKLESS ABOMINATION??“ is wild. What’s it going to accomplish? Or is he gonna call my manager? “HELLO, I’D LIKE TO REPORT A FRAUD IN YOUR DELI DEPARTMENT. THERE IS NOT SAUSAGE AS ADVERTISED.” What the fuck.

Odds are he’s more embarrassed of having a trans ex-kid than I am of being outed at work, so what if I go to his job and tell everyone I’m trans first? What then, coward?

Dick or no dick, this post has some of the biggest dick energy I have ever seen.

Need this.

Of course

I just won $500 off a scratch Ticket lottery.

ENERGY

helpful grammar tip! farther is for physical distance, further is for metaphorical distance, and father is for emotional distance!

THIS POST HAS A GOOD ENERGY