Sambiguous

How do cats just manifest trash. You’ll vacuum your entire house and turn around and your cat will be running around with a kind of cardboard that didn’t exist until two seconds ago.

I love rebloging. It’s the adult equivalent of showing everyone the cool rock I just found.

such insolence... guards? seize her! ...no. stop. not like that. you are doing it gay. why are you seizing her gay style

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

One time when my dad was in the hospital they were testing his orientation to time and place and said "Okay and what year is it?" and he said "1995" (he had dementia). And the doctor and I unconsciously exchanged a Look because it was in fact uhhh 2024 😐 and dad saw that and so when the next doctor did the test a few hours later he said "uhhhh...nineteen...nintetyyyy.......seven...???" and I was like okay, well, that IS closer, you do have to give him that

#he still knew immediately who I was which was deeply funny to me bc I was 7-8 years old in 1997 #"yes that is my daughter who was apparently born in her 20s"

either cleaning supplies should be free or dirt should have to pay rent

*Sprays u with a can of "Serious String"* [you are gently covered by a loose, aerisolized tangle of high-tensile polymer weave]

what they dont tell you about adulthood is that it’s startlingly easy to go long periods of time without having any fun at all not even a little bit. btw this makes ur brain try to kill you with knives and hammers.

I will reblog ANYTHING right now

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

i tend to avoid discourse because most of it is trite and pointless but just this once i feel like i need to state my opinion: i think everyone should bend to my dark and evil will