i'll lead the brand new days

i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time

what's that? gen z is trying to make me jerk off and moan like a girl?

inspiring: everyone in the reblogs and comments was injected with a neurotoxin

*takes a bite of my cigarette*...... heh. the character...... *walks into a small puddle but it swallows me up like the ocean* *i am found dead years later in maine*

puppy play but i’m some sort of endangered wolf who is sick and injured so a team of medical experts work around the clock to diagnose and fix me and they feed me an ideal diet and post photos of me on social media and everyone says “ooohhh awwwwwwww!!!!” and then i get released back to the wild because it’s the right thing to do and from then on i only occasionally show up on random trail cams and people say “yay!” and they leave me alone

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading