Seadís

his fish too big for his goddamn he

Do people not know that 'Ishmael' is basically Herman Melville's self-insert? He wrote based on his experiences as a sailor from 1841 to 1844, including on whaleships. The titular whale is based on an actual notoriously hard-to-catch albino sperm whale called 'Mocha Dick', that had been killed in 1838, and the book's ending is based on the sinking of the whaleship Essex in 1820. Herman just wrote himself into whale-lore and called himself Ishmael.

“knowing how to write effective AI prompts will be a valuable skill in the future” and what if I skip all that and write the email myself in under 30 seconds drawing from my very own biological database of language and rhetoric (my brain)?

mutuals i am visiting your homes and putting your cast iron skillets in the dishwasher :3

mutuals i am scraping your nonstick pans with metal utensils :3

mutuals i am dumping used cooking oil down your sink :3

mutuals i left the freezer open just a crack and everything thawed a little :3

mutuals i put the empty carton of milk back in the fridge :3

mutuals i left food on the dishes when i put them in the sink :3

mutuals i put the egg shells in the egg carton instead of throwing them out :3

mutuals i left all of the kitchen cabinets open :3

mutuals i am begging you to stop pelting me with rotten fruits

Ma'am, we're sorry to have to tell you this, but your husband had an accident at the Pianos, Anvils, and Comically Large Panes of Glass Incorporated factory...

he was hit by a car in the parking lot

Hey, this is relevant again after 7 years~

Relevant again today, 12 August 2026.

the youtube notification of ''ooohh your video isn't starting up smoothly???? turn off your ad blocker you cunt <3'' is so pathetic to me bc it takes five seconds max. you think i can't wait five seconds? you think i need to give you money because five seconds is too long? i pity your wife.