School, meet Life.

Opponents of gun control are saying, as they do after every killing, that no law can unfailingly forestall a specific criminal. That is true. They are talking, many with sincerity, about the constitutional challenges to effective gun regulation. Those challenges exist. They point out that determined killers obtained weapons illegally in places like France, England and Norway that have strict gun laws. Yes, they did.

But at least those countries are trying. The United States is not.

When I encounter people who oppose any and all kinds of gun control, and they argue that other laws have not completely eliminated x, y, or z, which somehow proves to them that laws to better regulate guns are stupid, what I hear them saying is that no law fixes anything completely, therefore there should be no laws. None. Ever. No traffic laws, no crime laws, no property laws, no nothing. Laws fix nothing!!!! So...let's run all the red lights and take all the loot we want from all the stores any time we want and shoot anybody we want because laws are stupid!!!!!!!!

I had shared this with a few friends last week, and I’m gonna to re-share it here:

On the day after Veterans Day, I wanted to post a couple thoughts… more like a rant.

I have really mixed feelings about the holiday because on the one hand I am so unbelievably proud of the people in my life who have committed some years of their life to the military, which in many ways is a noble cause. Less than 1% of the U.S. population serves in the armed services, and yet these are the people who are getting sent off to fight against al Qaeda and ISIL (in secret or not, in undeclared war or not), who are flexing some American muscle against China and North Korea and Russia to hopefully stave off another world war or two (hopefully), who are there to respond to natural disasters around the world and help set up the medical infrastructure to stabilize Ebola crises and other health pandemics, who help with rebuilding communities (that maybe they helped to demolish), who, in short, are doing things I would not want to do and can’t imagine doing. And for that I am grateful.

I am grateful that there are people who consider their options and want to join the military anyway, even during a time of active war and combat, even though knowing that that might mean risking their lives or their mental health. (I’ve been lucky enough to not have anyone close to me yet who has written that blank check to their country of “up to and including one’s life.”)

I am grateful of what the military has afforded my immediate family – my husband and me. I am grateful that my husband has been able to live his childhood dream of flying jets for the best branch of the military, the United States Marine Corps (should I “oorah” here?). I am grateful that he has been part of keeping America safe in the most literal way and in ways that I’ll never understand because that’s some Top Secret shit. I am grateful most of all that so far the military has not destroyed him or us.

I am also grateful that we live in a nation that from time to time those who aren’t living the military life think about us and say a brief word of gratitude because sometimes it feels like the military is forgotten (except as a faux sign of patriotism on the campaign trail).

So yes, I am happy to celebrate Veterans Day.

On the other hand, veterans/service members are people too, which means that not every single person in uniform is a hero, and definitely not a war hero. Not every single service member is an admirable and honorable person. You know, sometimes people join because they want glory, barely get through boot camp, and then find out that the job isn’t glamorous and search for all the reasons to get kicked out of the military because it’s different than what they thought it was going to be. They fake disability or suicide, they don’t do their jobs, and they make it harder on everyone else, and then maybe they eventually get discharged, maybe dishonorably.

Sometimes a service member is a great Marine/sailor/soldier/airman, but is a terrible human being. Maybe they’re a good shot, but they also abuse their spouses or neglect their children or sexually assault others… and it’s not because of combat-related PTSD.

Just because they’ve put on a military uniform does not automatically make them a hero, and I find discomfort in the over-glorification and hero-ification of service members. There may be honor in choosing this vocation, but that does not automatically make them honorable, let alone a hero.

I also find discomfort in this over-glorification of veterans/service members because it distracts from some of the other important questions – how are they actually keeping America safe? what are they actually doing to defend our freedom? freedom from what? who are the bad guys? why are they the bad guys? we’re fighting them at what cost? and for what benefit?

What are the policies that are keeping America safe? Do service members deserve all the credit for keeping America safe? Or are they just pawns?

I also think that Veterans Day distracts from the real things we can be doing to honor our veterans. Posting a patriotic message on facebook one day a year is not enough. Thanking a service member and shaking his or her hand is not enough.

The people I really want to honor on Veterans Day (or the day after) are the people behind the scenes who care about veterans every. single. day, and not just on a federal holiday. I’m not just talking about military spouses (husbands and wives, gay and straight) who support their service member and keep the home and the family going despite all the separations, but also the people who are working to end homelessness including that of veteran homelessness, the people who are working on necessary domestic policy for our veterans, the people who are working on smart foreign policy so we don’t have to keep sending our military to fight unnecessary wars, the people who are providing mental health services including to our service members and veterans, the people who are hiring veterans, the people who are working to rethink the judicial system to better care for and rehabilitate citizens including veterans, the people who are advocating at colleges and universities to provide better services to veterans, the people who are conducting research on suicide and treatments for mental illness and cultural divide and access to health care and education and and and…

Most of the time in my experience, these people are “bleeding heart liberals,” or at the very least moderates, who aren’t boasting about their patriotism and love of military-muricah-U!S!A! They are just doing the work. They also have a world view that sees progressive social policy as beneficial for many, including for veterans, who aren’t just all glorified war heroes, but who are actually real people who have real-life challenges.

These are the people I want to thank for their service, not just the veterans. And these are the people I think truly care about our veterans, not the people posting a “sincere thank you” once a year (twice a year if you count Memorial Day, thrice a year if you count the 4th of July), waving their empty patriotic flag, paying just mere lip service about their love of the military.

I also donate to Planned Parenthood. $5 a month. That’s not too much to ask.

It's not much, but I donate a little something every month to Doctors Without Borders/Medecins Sans Frontieres -- Syrian Refugee Crisis or not (but I kicked in a little extra today because my heart hurts extra today) -- because there are humanitarian crises happening all. the. time. Doctors Without Borders has rescued refugees at sea from Eritrea, Somalia, Syria, Bangladesh, Sudan, and Gambia. They've distributed vaccines, responded to Haiti and other natural disasters, trained health care workers, and on and on.