my captain

Olga Boznańska in her studio in Kraków. Photo: author unknown, ca. 1920. Copyright by Ligier Piotr / The National Museum in Warsaw.

2017 - Film Journal

i'm freaking out. the more i study neurology, the more i find myself actually interested in medicine. thing is, i was premed for a hot sec before i changed my mind in my sophomore year. i don't think i fully considered how much work it'd be, and finally confronting those challenges terrified me.

now, i've already graduated and have a job, with the goal of applying to phd programs next year. but... because i do medical research and work closely with patients, nurses, and doctors, i'm finding myself spending hours just reading about, say, vascular territories, and actually enjoying it. in a way i never did when i was premed. which freaks me out. medicine? i thought i already failed once.

i won't make any sweeping statements about my future, but i'm not as frightened of failure as i once was. i am reminding myself that it's okay to start over and change my mind. there is always time. i'm actually feeling excited for the future again. ♡