vroom vroom mothafuckas

*gets caught pickpocketing cos i keep saying ‘yoink’ outloud when i do it*

Sorry babe, during sex, the plague mask stays ON

hm. this post Aged 

now if lady macbeth knew about pegging, i don’t think that there would have been nearly as much murder in that play

This bitch had like 5 accents

transcription:  “you’re a nice guy. (shifts to singsongy british accent) i’ll think about it maybe xo baybeoi uh oh eehjfgoi SHEND HIM KISSHEOIS. i didn’t know i would moive in with his missusWOOOOOT GET A LOIFE WE’RE LIVIN WITH HIS WOIFE like.. (disturbingly serene) what was i meant to do…? ehehehe. (sudden american accent) oh bitch oi seemBUHHURH BREAST KILLA?? mm. HEHEHEHEHEHE (back to british accent) she doied. that’s what she desehves. (sudden new yorker accent) this stoopid princess bitch has been fuckin goin against me since i downloaded this goddamn app. she’s like (peppa pig again) oih you’re heare? no problemm. an- oo OO OOOHOHOHOHOOO OHOHOHOHO HOHOHOWAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ….oh i was first heh!”

you’re a nice guy 👨‍💼! I’ll think 🤔 about it MAY-BEE🐝. X O 🤗💋 baybwee👶! UH OH here we go 🚀🚀🚀! SHENDS HIM KISSES😘😘😘! I didn’t know that I would move in with his Mrs.👰 WHUUT😲! GET A LIFE! You were living with his wife 👱‍♀️like what was I meant to do🤷‍♀️? Oh bitch 💃obviously- BUH HWUH BREASTKILLUH 🔪🙍‍♀️! Yeet ✌️! hehehehehehe 🤣🤣🤣🤣 she DIED 😵. It’s what she deserves 💁‍♀️. this STOOPID princess 👸 bitch 🐕 has been fuckin goin against me since I downloaded this goddamn app 📱. She’s like, “OH yaw here, no PRAWBlem!” eh OO OO 😮OOOoOooOO 😩😩😩😩OOOOoo 😱oOO😱oooo 😱O😱😱OO😱OOO WHAAAAAA🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 Oh I was first heh!🥇🏆

WORLD HERITAGE POST

newborn babies when theyre hungry and their mom isnt in the room and they think she stopped existing bc no object permanence

If this ain’t me on Sundays