I like cats.

you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

I face-timed to ask if he waved, and he (again, very calmly and politely) explained that while yes, he did wave, they were already above the clouds and thus it would have been impossible for me to see. I decided not to press the matter bc it was honestly really cute that he'd actually waved

Me when i find out who killed the radio star

If you just had a clear box, you’d know that Schrodinger’s cat is alive and very confused.

i assumed this was porn