Saving Throws

“I break my own heart by expecting people to be as attached to me as I am to them.”

“Lonesome. Its a funny thing. Being alone in a crowd. What do they call it? The lonely heart, the bitter one? The clingy, needy young girl. The bossy, trouble maker Easy to love at first, but hard to love forever. Has friends, but they don’t really care Is shushed, told to be silent, but can’t help being naturally loud. Dramatic at most, solemn at best. Cares about everyone and everything, Sometimes too much though. Hates being told what to do and when things don’t go her way. Is called perfect sometimes, but is far from it If you look close into her eyes, you can see her yearning to be found, to be loved unconditionally. Doesn’t want any strings attached, but she comes with strings. A desire to fit in, so much she is willing to destroy herself in the process. Maybe she will be lost forever, maybe thats who she’s meant to be. The feeling of being unwanted always scratches in the back of her throat. Acts strong but underneath that tough skin she is weak. Looks up to people and yearns for their friendship and acceptance. A little girl at heart. A failure at best. She is lonesome and lonesome is her…”

It’s okay to be alone, you just don’t have anyone to console you when you’re feeling lonely. Maybe the moon. Yes, the moon. She who offers solace and company to those whose nights are black and starless. How bright, her beacon. How overwhelming, her pale beauty. How rare, the occasion in which she shows herself in full splendor. O, to be mesmerized, and from within the calm of inner silence hear her whisper the secrets of the universe. So that we may understand. And we do. For a short-lived moment we do. Bathing in celestial light, we are all enchanters and enchantresses. Such a precious gift, so generously given. And all she asks for in return is for us to simply fall in love with each other. Alas, this is a cruel request. An unfortunate twist to a magical evening. We cannot oblige. Disenchanted eyes perceive all that shines as a mere memory of light. We are all alone, adrift in the dark. But we know it’s okay to be alone, even if there’s no one to console us. After all, nothing’s worse than feeling lonely in the company of others. There is only so much love can do. And sometimes it’s not enough. What remains is that moment of inner silence, when the eyes are locked to the sky. Awe-struck. That second of being soothed is worth a million lifetimes spent in love. Despite her age and magical ways the moon remains a silly thing. To wish for us all to fall in love. To witness something pure in our world. How naive. How toe-curlingly unworldly. How daft.