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@satiricalscythe
stray

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This is the funniest thing iâve heard my entire life đ
Truth xD
This is literally me as a kid. Dad used to have the responsibility of giving out the well reports that came in on the friday night to anyone who phoned for the rest of the weekend. The problem was, on saturday mornings, he was doing the food shopping, so I was given a list of approved callers and heâd leave the well report figures by the phone.
Theoretically I was just supposed to list off the numbers. Except. Very early I started parsing the figures and give my own analysis. Apparently engineers and geophysicists got a bit freaked out by a ten year old going âItâs not that good, the flowâs really slow compared to last week, and thereâs gas pockets really screwing up the flow in the east pipe judging by the pressure report.â
Dad still got that yelled at him at conferences:Â âThis is the fucker who used child labour to do well analysis!â
âWas it wrong?â
âThatâs the not the point!â
We found him- the 20 year old with 10 years experience
reblog if you are ASEXUAL, support ASEXUAL PEOPLE, or SECRETLY A DRAGON IN HUMAN FORM
Also best not to pet sharks without gloves. Their skin can really tear up ours with lots of petting.
yeah, this is what sharkskin looks like under a microscope:
itâs covered with tiny interlocking teeth that form a one-way-only surface! petting a shark the wrong way will literally make you bleed, which is still never a thing you want to do if you are in the water with a shark.
(yes, those are literally teeth-sharks ended up evolving a skin covering completely separate from the scales that bony fish ran with and they did it by mutating the teeth out of their fucking mouths and over their entire surface area)
Being internet-shitpost-aware means that you know damn well that this post is a dread summoning spell
Amazing how they still manage to be perfectly smooth while covered in literal teeth
The Bat Joke. đđŚđłď¸âđđđ

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A silly comic with a bonus extra, sorta a continuation of the pride post, haha! : ) Working hard on the surprise video, I may be a little quiet this month!
Iâm about to stir the pot, and Iâm not apologizing for it.
TL;DR: unapologetic merch theft. Do not preorder @su-inverted-auââs anniversary charms. They are stolen from @suaugonewrongââ.Â
Letâs jump right into this.Â
I was scrolling my dash today and had to pause. It turns out @su-inverted-auâ is making some physical merch to celebrate their AUâs anniversary, which is very cool! The problem is, when I saw the post I didnât realize it was from Inverted at all. In fact, I had mistakenly assumed it was a pin update from @suaugonewrongâ and did a bit of a double-take when I realized it wasnât.Â
Why? Because Iâve seen this design before, and it was on @spudinacupââs Patreon back in September of 2020.Â
I donât usually pull this card, but I have a bit of an inside look at Spudâs stuff because weâre family. As such, I know for a fact that Spud COMMISSIONED this design from @jirachibabyâ (Invertedâs creator) last year. In fact, this charm design is directly lifted from one of the concept sketches Spud and Jirachi were working on leading to the final pin design.Â
Donât see the similarities? Letâs flip the design, shall we?Â
Jirachi has taken the PAID design created explicitly for Gone Wrongâs merchandise, removed the arm, and is now SELLING their own merchandise in the same market, before Gone Wrongâs enamel pins have even been released.Â
In the interest of transparency: We hit a hiccup with repeated manufacturer errors such as using the wrong enamel, which paired with Spudâs cancer-related hiatus has delayed both the comic and the pins. Thatâs why the general non-Patreon public hasnât seen them yet. The pins have even been cast in metal already. Jirachi is fully aware of this.
I wouldnât be making this post at all if Jirachi wasnât acting in such bad faith right now. There is no misunderstanding. When I brought this issue to Spudâs attention, Jirachi basically laughed in their face (âlmaoâ) when confronted. There are many receipts, including nasty and derogatory language sent to Spud, but I am not going to post them because theyâre from someone elseâs personal DMs and while Iâm livid right now Iâm not going to be that petty unless the truth of this post is called into question.
I am so tired.
TL;DR: unapologetic merch theft. Do not preorder @su-inverted-auââs anniversary charms. They are stolen from @suaugonewrongââ.
I am rebologing this for the moment but I will be making a post on this when when I am hear back from legal council. Â
I do not like call out culture, Iâve vocalized this many times. I am however going to take this to court if needed, that being said, I do not want people to be ripped off as today is the last day of their Pre-orders.Â
I apologize that this is the first post you all see from me in some time. I appreciate all of your patience and understanding with everything.Â
A couple of GO commissions I did recently, where coincidentally both involves a scene with their homey cottage and lush garden, with different vibes. Enjoy đ
:) ,,,, working on a new video and trying new coloring styles. Hope you like!
Bonus:

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your boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend that I had in february of last year looks gnc af
I honest to god looked in the mirror this morning and thought, "Man, I look like if my mom and dad had a kid," completely deadfaced and didn't realize how stupid that was until like two minutes later.
Friendly reminder that Vincent van Gogh willingly checked himself into an asylum so that he could get better, resulting in him creating some of the most iconic paintings of his entire career, done in the asylum, when he was being treated 24/7, because he finally didnât have to struggle with his demons and could instead focus on his muse, WHICH WERE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS!
Remember this little insignificant painting?
How about this one?
Check this one out:
All of these and more were painted in the asylum when he was receiving treatment for his mental illnesses and I know I just said that but I said it again and Iâm saying it a third time until you dramatic abled assholes understand!
VINCENT VAN GOGH
- KNEW THAT HE WAS MENTALLY ILL
- WANTED TO CHANGE THAT
- WENT TO AN ASYLUM
- GOT THE HELP HE NEEDED
- PAINTED SOME ICONIC MASTERPIECES AS A RESULT!
SO DONâT YOU DARE COME OUT HERE WITH THIS, âI WISH I WAS DEPRESSED SO I COULD BE AS CREATIVE AS VAN GOGHâ BULLSHIT BECAUSE EVEN HE KNEW THAT HIS DEMONS WERE HARMING HIS WORK, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HIS HEALTH, AND HE DID EVERYTHING WITHIN HIS POWER TO FIGHT THEM EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HIS LIFE, UNTIL THEY ENDED UP WINNING!Â
This is also incredibly important for any creative persons dealing with mental illness, and their parents.
Receiving mental help improves your craft, not hurt it. Before getting put on medication for the first time to treat my mental illnesses, my mom expressed to me how sheâs worried about my getting treatment because of my art. Regardless, your mental health should be more important anyway, but, honestly, itâs a lot harder to produce good art when you struggle getting out of bed, let alone creating masterpieces. When youâre in more health, improving your craft comes much easier!
Personally I think the most beautifull painting of him was this one:
He made it when he heard about the birth of his nephew who was named after him. Still in the asylum but really happy for his brother! âHow glad I was when the news came⌠I should have greatly preferred him to call the boy after Father, of whom I have been thinking so much these days, instead of after me; but seeing it has now been done, I started right away to make a picture for him, to hang in their bedroom, big branches of white almond blossom against a blue sky.â
Oh I have sucb rants about how âgoodâ art comes while suffering.
No.
look at me.
The idea of the âsuffering artistâ comes from bunch of alcholic, drug abusing, womanizers trying to justify their bad life choices as some sort of artistic angst.
IT IS 100% BULLSHIT
Take your meds, get your therapy, be happy, and live life
The art will be there.
Kill the myth that artists must suffer.
Kill the myth that artists must suffer
As a mother, let me say, if you have a parent in your life who is not 100% on board with your best health and happiness, WHATEVER THEY TELL YOU IS WRONG.
Iâm furious to read that some parent doubted the value of their childâs health and happiness for the sake of their art. Iâve struggled and Iâve been there as a creative, and never in a million years will I wish that on a child of mine for the sake of their talent. NO.
Christians hate when a gay man goes âfuck it, Iâll gladly go to Hell if you want me to so badâ because it takes the edge away from their tools of fear. If they canât scare you with threats of eternal damnation then one of their main weapons is taken away.
calling out @brightismarstonight because yes
âYouâre supposed to fear your father/parentsâ this isnât the first time Iâve seen someone say that someone told them this in the tags. Christianity as an institution is one of the biggest shelters for abusers out there and this shit right here is how they do it.
that reminds me of a couple years ago when my dumbass stupid bee post was going around and someone was trying to argue w me abt how unethical beekeeping for honey was so i was like âahaha what? i donât beekeep for the honey i throw that nasty goop out! i eat the bees. crunchyâ and i thought they were going to try and kill me in real life
OP I want you to know that you are a hero.

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what a good morning!! im gonna draw a dog!!
apRIL FOOLS I DREW TWO DOGS THEYâRE BEST FRIENDS
the only good april foolâs joke
You know what I'm a slut for? When a character visibly drops a ruse. Like, the way their face changes the moment they give up a facade and reveal themselves.
This applies to revealing love, apathy, anger, evil intent. I mcfuckin love it.