sassypreet

when you practice kindness and i mean seriously, consciously choose it over and over again, it shows. that kind of selfless love etches itself into your laugh lines, steeps like a teabag until your words are inherently graceful. sometimes we spit out that choice through gritted teeth, but late at night when time stands still, the universe kisses your eyelids and promises you twice the love in return.

In order to make a relationship last, you really have to flow with a person as they change. Give them space. My friend always told me about his grandfather who was with his wife for 60 years before she passed. His grandfather said that through all that time, his wife changed so much it felt like he had been with 8 different people by the end. But he said the secret to making it last was that through all those changes, he never suffocated his wife with his own idea of who he expected her to be. Rather he loved, fully, every new woman she became.

when kafka said “all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding” and when richard siken said “if you love me, you don’t love me in a way I understand.”

when anaïs nin said “i dont want worship. i want understanding”

When orwell said: “Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.”

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

this fucks me up every single time

This is so fucking important and I think it’s something I needed right now

forcing yourself to stay in people’s lives where you aren’t valued and appreciated in the name of “i care too much and love hard” is going to bring a lot unnecessary life lessons that could be avoided.

my personality is so manufactured. i own none of it. my handwriting comes from the girl i sat next to in fourth grade, my sense of humor comes from my best friend in third grade, the way i sit comes from the lead character in a movie i once watched, the way i type comes from one of my classmates in sixth grade.... am i not allowed to have something to myself? am i not allowed to be someone?