sarhah

(for anyone watching the campaign/show)

truthfully, that is how i feel about commissioner jim gordon of gotham city

so i've been rewatching early crc2 episodes and i can't help but notice how many of the nein's stories start with a loss of autonomy. caleb's to ikithon and his scourger training, yasha's to obann and his manipulation of her mind, veth's to a witch who literally steals her body, and molly's to a past and a body that are entirely alien to him.

every time i reacquaint myself with these characters i'm reminded of the depth and complexity that made me love them the first time, but none really stick out to me as much as fjord.

i mean, fjord fies under the radar in the backstory department, especially when pitted against contenders like caleb and yasha, because his is so unremarkable. the most notable thing to ever happen to him literally happens days before he meets jester, and we see him come to terms with his power in real time.

but something i keep coming back to with each rewatch is fjord's relationship with his body. we know that he grew up in an orphanage that housed almost entirely human or human-adjacent children who bullied him for being a half-orc, so much so that he began to habitually and purposefully file his claws and his tusks to better fit in and appear less monstrous. we know that when he meets other half-orcs, like the one in fletching and moondrops circus or the blacksmith in rosohna, that he feels proportionally inadequate to those half-orcs because he isn't nearly as large as them.

we know that several pc's as well as the other members of the mighty nein say on multiple occasions that fjord is objectively very attractive, but that he doesn't seem to believe them or take it to heart; that he even said in an earlier episode that he was a very unattractive child and still worries over his physical appearance as an adult. and we know that he acquiesces to his body being used as a bargaining chip and distraction, most notably with avantika, if it means the group can be safe or get more information.

i also think fjord deals, in his own way, with the idea of masculinity and fatherhood and strength. obviously the concept of true masculinity exists very differently in exandria, but fjords best defense is wearing any skin but his own and speaking with the voice of a 'dead' man because he says it commands the attention his never could.