classy jester

Back in the 70s my dad was out in the desert in Egypt near Sharm El-Sheikh but back then it was still pretty much just the middle of god damn nowhere. He was a bit of a mad adventurer and traveled around hitch hiking and trading diving lessons for lifts and accommodation and the like. They were planning on going scuba diving when the sun went down to see the bioluminescent fish and stuff but just as it was starting to get dark some vehicle lights came over the dunes in the distance. Now this was iffy as all fuck. It could be anyone from the army to people coming to rob the pasty white Irish people who were stupid enough to drive to the middle of god damn nowhere in the times before gps and cellphones so they'd know no one would come to their rescue and they could even be killed and probably not found.

As the lights got closer they realised it was a few vehicles. If it was trouble they were absolutely fucked.

The jeeps pulled up and someone walks through the lights towards them.

"[my dad's name], what the fuck are you doing out here ya mad bastard??"

Not only did he know them, he fucking went to school with him. He hadn't seen them in over a decade and just by absolute chance they met in the middle of the god damn desert.

like i’m calling myself out here but i just uttered the words “you did the stretch and now the rare and powerful double pets” (two hands at once!!) to my cat without a trace of irony

like i do not believe my cat understands a word of what i am saying but he absolutely knows my voice and i think also my tone? but also all day i’m just randomly looking over at him like “good boy!” or “are you fluffy?” or singing little songs about his current fluff levels. to an animal. a wonderful animal but a creature who absolutely does not speak english and probably only vaguely is like “this creature is communicating with me” when the strange noises come from the person’s mouth

like i just think about this sometimes

i never wanted to baby talk this cat, i dislike the whole “i am a cat mom and this is my baby” thing, he is a cat, i am a person, and yet i just spend all day talking at him. while typing this he rolled over to show off his tummy and i had to restrain myself from saying “you got a tummy?” aloud. and then i did it anyway

Wednesday September 29,2021

L.George

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people on the Internet: “FrIeNd???” ERASURE. STOP TRYING TO HIDE THE GAY. “OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES”

aforementioned historians: she. she opens the letter with “My dearest friend.” we’re literally quoting here, and we just admitted they had sex

people on the Internet: “JUST GALS BEING PALS” EH? R/SAPPHOANDHERFRIEND?

historians: a truly vast number of us are queer

People on the internet: SO GAYS DIDN’T EXIST IN HISTORY HUH?

Historians: no? We’re saying ancients had different relationships and acceptances for things we now label as queer and it’s not right to force modern terms-

People on the internet: WOW, SO GAYS DON’T AND HAVE NEVER EXISTED? IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE SAYING? YOU’RE TRYING TO ERASE GAYS FROM HISTORY.

Internet: Historians refuse to acknowledge that anyone in history was anything but straight!

Historians: Some people believe this man and woman had a romantic interest in each other based on their letters, but it’s important to remember that this kind of language was expected and didn’t necessarily mean they were actually interested in each other.

Internet: All a woman and a man had to do was look at each other and all historians are convinced they were into each other!

Historians: This person had some contemporary sources referring to them as gay, but that’s likely people spreading rumors because we can’t find anything to back it up beyond the word of their political rivals.

Internet: So gay people just never existed??

Historians: Actually we all agree this other person from the same place and time was gay and we talk extensively about it