Imagine being the only person alive who can say this
buzz aldrin and neil armstrong liked to do a thing where they’d tell unfunny jokes at parties about being on the moon and when people were confused they’d go “guess you had to have been there”
Stranger Things
One Nice Bug Per Day

oozey mess
ojovivo

Love Begins
Claire Keane
h
Not today Justin
noise dept.
we're not kids anymore.

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Show & Tell

★
taylor price
cherry valley forever


shark vs the universe
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@vaiyamagic
Imagine being the only person alive who can say this
buzz aldrin and neil armstrong liked to do a thing where they’d tell unfunny jokes at parties about being on the moon and when people were confused they’d go “guess you had to have been there”

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Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Final Round
Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)
Ryland Grace (Project Hail Mary)
Mr. Ant Tenna (Deltarune)
Tenna art by @9Aaaalt29 on twt
“And if you’ll give me 40% of the MOST POPULAR VOTE, I’ll give you my SPECIAL REWARD... A year’s supply of NON-GLOOBY SLIME!!! Never or BARELY used!!!” Tenna concluded his speech with a huge smile, jetting his hands up in double peace signs.
The crowd roared in confused enthusiasm as Tenna gave a gracious flurry of low-FPS bows, pausing only for the occasional stink-nose at his audience plants who weren’t throwing enough 3D roses.
Eventually, the room fell silent. It was Senshi’s turn to speak.
He puffed out his chest, took a long, sweeping look over the audience… and shook his head.
“I can see not all of you are eating properly.”
The crowd murmured with embarrassment.
“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time to take the turkey out of your icebox. I have seen the ingenious technology with which your people store food... and I have also seen the waste which results from such convenience.
“The food you take had a life. Beasts grew fat on the grass of the field, plants grew from the sun’s rays, and mushrooms grew from minerals in the cracks of caves. And yet, it sits in your iceboxes, collecting moisture until it perishes.
“Eat what is given to you. Because its life will make you stronger, too.”
Without another word, Senshi left his podium and stepped away from the stage. The crowd murmured in confusion. “Is he really like that?” somebody said. “I only remember reblogging the photosets of him tripping and showing ass.”
--
Back in the Green Room, Tenna wrung his antennas nervously.
“Y-y-you think they liked me!? They HAD to!! I mean, I don’t know what Asgore was thinking, getting that weird haircut and running that food waste campaign, but… YOU thought I did good, didn’t you, Kris?”
Laios nodded aggressively, a streak of blue face paint peeling from his forehead.
“You did AMAZING, Tenna! By the way, now that we’ve seen all your insider campaign secrets, do you have any more videos of Susie? Especially her tail... If I could get a look at that, I could finally tell if she’s a dinosaur or --”
THWACK. Fake antlers butted Laios’s head.
“LAIOS?? Weren’t we dressed up to help SENSHI???” Marcille hissed, gesturing awkwardly with her hooves.
Suddenly, Tenna turned to the two adventurers.
“Hey, WAIT a second. SOMETHING’s not right here...”
Laios and Marcille held their breath.
“Where the heck are my POINTS!?”
Just then, the door opened. Chilchuck took one step into the room, whistling and holding a large bag.
Everyone turned to him.
Chilchuck paused, took a step backwards, and closed the door.
“CHILCHUCK!!!” yelled Tenna.
“How come Chilchuck got to stay Chilchuck!?” yelled Marcille at the same time.
--
Meanwhile, in outer space somewhere, some guy was making out with a rock.
TOBY FOX?????
in case you needed to hear it today:
it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re changing lanes
it’s okay to use your turn signal when you’re taking an exit
it’s okay to use your turn signal when you plan on turning (can even be done sooner than 2 seconds before you’re about to turn)
you have a turn signal. in your vehicle. two of them in fact.
you are so brave and beautiful and smart and can do it. using your turn signal
are people talking about the labor conditions at Taylor Farms yet? like the fact they use enslaved prisoners in their facilities?
are we drawing the connection between worker safety and consumer safety & public health yet?
are people demanding to see the conditions in this place that keeps making us sick? why are the enslaved workers not having the time to use the bathroom or to rest when ill? very few people would shit in front of their coworkers given any choice at all.
On the prisoners point:
In a sweeping two-year investigation, The Associated Press found goods linked to prisoners wind up in the supply chains of everything from F
More on the health point:
"US Department of Labor proposes more than $1M fine following worker fatality at New Jersey vegetable processing facility"
https://www.dol.gov/newsroom/releases/osha/osha20251124
pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

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Me: *explains the company's policy*
Customer: *tries to make excuses as to why she can't do it the way we require*
Me: *reitarates the policy*
Customer: *implies that if we do it that way, she wont pay us*
Me: *apologizes and states policy again*
Customer: *leaves*
--
Customer: *returns an hour later to do it our way and pay*
“my bonnie lies over the ocean, my bonnie lies over the sea,”
are we talking about the same body of water here, which is weird, or different bodies of water, which is even weirder
this makes more sense if you assume both are the same body of water but the time between the statements is about 50 million years
you’re right, that’s significantly less weird
toasthaste said: maybe there’s more than one bonnie
blocked
A hypothesized geography.
i bless the bonnie over africa
The bonnie is in geosychronous orbit, thus over all the Earth’s bodies of water
the bonnie is merely moving very fast, perhaps at hypersonic velocity, relative to the singer
my bonnie lies over the ocean
my bonnie’s exceeding mach 3
maybe y'all didn't notice but fat people who don't hate ourselves sure did notice that people were obsessed with shitting on fat people in the late 90s and early 2000s (conservative political time) and now are again (fascist political time), coincidentally while the market for weight loss has become a 90 billion dollar industry due to glp1s.
you are not immune to propaganda. it makes some people a whole hell of a lot of money for you to hate fat people and fear becoming (or staying, I think like 70% or something of the US is fat) one of us.
a lot of the fearmongering over fatness comes from studies directly funded by the weight loss industry...i think people don't really realize or think about the fact that research can absolutely be influenced and skewed by its funding. there is also research that shows that an amount of the negative health outcomes for fat people come from anti-fat bias. if you go to the doctor with concerns and the doctor simply tells you to lose weight, your problem is neglected and you may not even bother going to the doctor with the next problem.
every fat person you know for the most part probably has a story like this, of medical neglect. many of the stories i've heard personally are when the complaint or the doctor wasn't related at all, like being told to lose weight at the ear nose and throat doctor or at the dentist. it's straight up just bias. it's such a thing that in the show Shrill it's portrayed, when Aidy Bryant goes to the gynecologist and her doctor suggests she get gastric bypass.
the studies on health and fatness are simply not that black and white and there is basically no research that shows that more than an incredibly tiny minority of people can lose weight and keep it off for more than like 2 years. bodies have set points that they gravitate towards, it's not a personal failure. this also is how the weight loss industry succeeds so well - repeat customers.
some of the harm associated with fatness is also due to weight cycling, which is very hard on your body and is even worse if you get off a GLP1, which according to a recent study causes weight to be regained at a rate that is 4x faster than without taking a GLP1.
you don't have to hate yourself. you don't have to hate other people for their body type either. it makes me so sad to see the thinspo tag going around again in 2026 a lot like it was back in the day.
some resources to learn more here:
https://www.reuters.com/article/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/feeling-fat-may-be-worse-for-you-than-being-fat-idUSTON079061/
A study spanning almost four decades and involving more than 100,000 adults in Denmark found that those with an 'overweight' body mass index
there's so much crazy shit once you go down the rabbit hole. for example, BMI was not invented by anyone with a medical background. it was never meant to measure individual health.
The U.S. weight loss industry reached an unprecedented high in 2023, estimated at $90 billion, largely driven by surging sales of the widely
Evidence is mounting that our body fat supports everything from our bone health to our mood, and now, research suggests it also regulates bl
just gonna reblog this forever because i love fat people and we deserve fuckin basic human dignity and respect regardless of our weight
Hell yeah CLRG!

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currently maybe possibly single-handedly crashing whatever servers eton hosts its archived student newspapers on because me and a friend are getting obsessed with a single outspoken prefect from 1883
@queenlua Happily! This is going to be long, so here's some set dressing first:
Eton College, for anyone unfamiliar, is a prestigious boys' school in England that has famously educated MANY MANY politicians, royals, nobility, and other assorted famous people. All you really need to know about it is that's it's incredibly posh and expensive and exclusive
The Eton Society (called “Pop” internally) is a self-selecting body of senior students at Eton that have historically held a decent amount of power at the school. If you’ve ever attended a school with a prefect system/house system etc you probably know a little bit about how obnoxious this kind of group can get. Now imagine they're all called Lord Godfrey Pickerington or something. Are you getting it? Is the set being dressed? Good.
Now that the scene is set, here’s our tale!!
I stumbled into Eton’s archives while doing research for a fanfiction and we’ll just leave that admission where it is!! It was in reading old issues of their student-run paper, The Chronicle, from 1883 that myself and @carebewear started becoming fixated on one guy in particular.
Cecil B. Gedge (from this point on known as Gedge) was a member of the Eton Society in 1883/84. He won a few Science awards during his time there (Biology!!) and seemed to like rowing during school sports events. He went on to become a barrister, which will make sense once you know more about him.
The best part of Gedge, though, is his appearances in the minutes for the Eton Society meetings. At least at Gedge’s time, the Eton Society seemed really fond of staging debates (more like loosely organised discussions) on a wide variety of topics.
Here are some of the riveting questions they discussed!
And my personal favourite: "Are Ghosts Real?"
(They were very divided)
Gedge first came to our attention in debate about the annexation of New Guinea, in which he apparently started an "abusive attack on the British army and missionaries":
Wow! Based Gedge!? He continues to spit period-typical truths about things like how we shouldn't tax bicycles actually because it would disproportionately affect poor people. YIMBY Gedge?? He would've loved light rail.
The final nail in our Gedge obsession was a debate on women's suffrage, in which Gedge vehemently advocates for women's right to vote and then gets no supporters at the end of the meeting. But I appreciate that he said it anyway and kept saying it. He is more persecuted that Christ, to me.
Here are some more, from anti-conscription sentiment to indirectly calling his classmates stupid to weirding everyone out by saying he wants to donate his body to science (his friend dissecting him for fun):
We started getting the feeling people might not have liked Gedge that much, mainly since one of the Society members wrote a poem about all his friends and Gedge isn't in it.
In 1884, there was some extended drama in the Chronicle where someone whom I groundlessly suspect was Gedge under a pseudonym ("A Socialist"), wrote to the editor complaining that the "debates" published by the Eton Society were "bad" (genuine quote) and that they should make a REAL debate society at the school that ALL boys, not just the self-selected seniors, could participate in:
To make a long story short most of the vocal members of the Eton Society threw up their hands at this and refused to do anything, basically boiling down to "Just because we're the prefects of the school doesn't mean we should have to actually DO anything!! Unfair!!" and also this quote which reads exactly like at least a thousand real tweets I've seen in my life
Liberal. Gedge, of course, was there giving practical suggestions, but the discussion was ultimately cut short because their principal died and they had to push a memorial issue of the paper. We have a working theory that the staff might've used that interruption as an opportunity to get the boys to cut it the fuck out.
Anyway it's a little unclear what happens to Gedge after that. He isn't credited as being in the 1884 Eton Society in the larger school register but it's unclear if that's because he wasn't re-elected or if he just graduated. Either way, he went on to become a barrister in London, which makes a lot of sense. Sadly though, he passed away in WW1, which we were really normal about
Thank you Lt. Gedge, for truly embodying the eternal spirit of an outspoken debate-kid, a friend to the lefties, a proto-yimby, a terminal back-talker, and the kid in a biology class that's a little too excited for the dissections. I hope your life, however short, was a rich and bright one. Thanks for the incredibly entertaining afternoon, brother 🫡
5 0 Y E A R S A G O
Almost 57 years ago!
Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk
“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”
Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?
Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby
Husband: RIVETING!
Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️
Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!
Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk
All of tumblr collectively at my husband:
Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream
Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!
Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued
Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.
THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND
yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this
Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays
Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.
????
Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave
Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!
FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering
I have follow up questions:
1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?
1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?
I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.
Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂
So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂
Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.
Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she
1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night
2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day
3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together
I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times
1) My dad was also like this with me. Best example - reading a manual for a washing machine to me as an infant. Didn't turn into a Deals Warlock, but I did become a writer, so make of that what you will.
2) If you are the type of person who counts how many questions your child asks you in a day, and didn't give up after like ten of 'em, *and* potentially did so more than once (you said she "averages" at 892, meaning you might have gotten your data from at least two days)... then I think she is Like That because of both sides of her family, actually
I hope I'm online when it happens. I want to see a sudden flood of crab rave memes right after refreshing my dash, and in the middle of it all, the Castiel news meme. That's how I want to learn of it; not through anything solemn or serious, but via overwhelming silly celebration.

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watching an old disney movie
inspired by the comments in this video making me aware of the siamese cat scene in aristocats
Really weird feeling to spend years reading a webcomic only to get frog-boiled as the story starts to go downhill but you can't break the reflexive habit of reading checking the website until one day you realize that now you're hate-reading it, which sucks!!! Hate-reading is bad for you!! Don't do it! Bah!!!
Little bite-sized snippets of regularly-scheduled stories are great nourishment for the media gnomes that live in your brain, but hate-reading is toxic to them!! And it's very important to take good care of the media gnomes!! If your media gnomes get sick you might end up doing things like posting water-filter screenshots of blogs that you've blocked or getting mad at TV showrunners like they're your dad or doing kiwifarms stuff
There is a very delicate line between being a Hater (mirthful, no personal stakes, titillating to the gnomes) and being a Hater (resentful, jilted, bad for the gnomes). Unfortunately I always have a hard time telling telling which side I'm on so I think it's better for me to just not do it!!!! And tbh I suspect that this might be true of everybody...