[TW for discussion of mental health issues]
Where have I been for *checks blog* three weeks? Not on holiday, that’s for sure! As it turns out, you can’t just ignore mental health problems until they go away. In fact, there’s a big chance they’ll get worse! I speak from experience.
I may talk big game about looking after yourself and getting help, but I was completely determined not to do that for myself. I thought I didn’t need it; that my issues weren’t serious enough; that it was all my fault; that I could fix it myself.
Around the time I stopped posting, I was in the middle of some particularly low points. In their wake, friends and family urged me to go to the doctor’s. I finally relented, and booked an appointment.
The appointment was yesterday. It went really well.
I’m being referred for therapy, I’m starting medication, and I have some reading materials and exercises to do in the meantime. It will get better; I will get better!
But neither it or I won’t get better straight away. That’s why I’m taking another three weeks off, at least. My writing isn’t at its best right now, and I need to take the time to look after myself properly if I ever want it to be again. I’m really sorry for doing this, and for disappearing in the first place. I’ll keep you updated from now on.
Also, if you’re in the same boat as me, don’t sink. Please go to the doctor if you can, and seek actual medical help. If you can’t, try accessing charities which provide services to help you, use online materials for mental health, or find someone who can be your confidante and ask them for help.
And YOU, anxiety-ridden person who is thinking, ‘oh, but my issues aren’t bad enough’. Go to a doctor already. You’re not qualified to be the judge of that, especially since you’ve got a little voice in your head, one that’s even less qualified, trying to do the judgement for you. Get help. You need it too, trust me.