you'll keep changing and i'll just stay the same

just thought to myself "well i guess ill be a little crazy!" when clicking 'add to cart' on a mossy green bikini top instead of a plain black one. cant take me anywhere

am i stupid. got my other nostril pierced for my birthday FORGETTING that in less than a month im going on a family vacation to a place w a lake that will be one million degrees and i will WANT to submerge myself. and also splash the fuck out of my little cousins (always hilarious bc they get mad as hell). seriously considering taking it out and letting it heal for the vacation and then getting it repierced even though it’s absolutely a waste of money but also it would suck sooo bad like i absolutely do not trust myself just trying to keep my head out of the water…… bc within that path lies the microbes. advise

i had a really wonderful birthday yesterday but i do suspect i was glutened

almost updated my age to 2. i am the youngest person ever

the ball of my lip piercing fell out and apparently this happened when i was drinking water, which i only know because when i was drinking i swallowed something hard and was like YUCK! assuming it was some sort of bug or creature and then i kept drinking the fucking water. what?

asked a guy if he had an oboe reed in his hat and he pulled it out and it was a pre roll i’ve genuinely never felt lamer

a customer accidentally pulled my hair like an hour ago and i still seriously seriously want to kill us both my skin is still crawling

showed my mom the tattoo i’m going to get in august and she, aghast, asked why im getting something so big for my first tattoo and when i told her it’s go big or go home she liked that even less

annoying coworker was talking to another coworker in the breakroom and she wasn’t really listening and i just heard him go “she eats children!” and her go “oh yummy 🙂”

i just kneeled on my cats tail while trying to give her a pill i have never felt so wretched im so sorry steve

yucky charlie xcx: i STINK im gonna die in this LOUSE