me to my gamer bf: let’s play ;)

your gamer bf: WHAAAAATS up youtube today im gonna be speedrunning sex with my girlfriend.  swag.  really been working on my strats and im hoping to see at least a six second reduction from last time *1:14 flashes onto the screen in bright red meme letters while airhorns play for a little bit* okay here we go! *his youtube intro starts*

I know what you are thinking. That a clit press is a clit press - but you’re wrong. If I start the sex already pressing on the clit, that’s a half-clit-press. So, in this fashion, we can get her to cum in only 23 clit interactions. We have to hold the dick against the G-Spot, against the wall of the pelvic bone. The pelvic bone has a particular property that allows the dick to build up speed. I call this Hyper-Speed-Dicking….

me selling my wares from the forest