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noise dept.
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if i look back, i am lost
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@sanguinis-et-auri

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Also, Marius.
I have mixed feelings about this drawing.
And of course, very, very stupid Amadeo.
Lestat: *sees Marius from afar*
Lestat: MARIUS!!!!
Marius:
Marius: Fuck my life
Lestat: Is that gasoline?
Gabrielle: I’m pretty sure that’s water.
Lestat, lighting a match: Welp, there’s only one way to find out.
Gabrielle: *stands there and watches*
Lestat: *throws match and the gasoline ignites*
Marius, running into the room: THERE WERE OTHER WAYS TO FIND OUT
It was seemingly a regular Thursday evening. The students of Edinburgh University, one of Britains equivalent of an Ivy League institution, had already gathered in the auditorium. Hushed chatter and laughter mixed with the occasional groan at the late hour for this lecture. The rustle of papers, and more frequently the tapping on laptops, could be heard. Despite the advanced hour, it seemed like all students had gathered, which could only mean that the Professor did his job well.
Too often did the young and impatient students skip classes if the topic or the presentation of it was too boring to withstand, especially at times like these where most of them were already tired from previous lectures or the jobs they did on the side.
I remember vividly when I first heard about my maker's newfound, or should I say, rediscovered need for teaching. I travelled to Scotland in search of other mythical monsters like us. But my search for the infamous Loch Ness Monster unfortunately was fruitless. At least I could tick that off my list, and the creature was spared from me dissecting it on my operation table.
I heard about a charming antique bookstore in the nearby and equally charming city of Inverness. And so it was to noone’s surprise that I travelled there to peruse some of the tomes and classics they had to offer. Luckily for me, the sun set incredibly early in winter and so I was able to sneak in before it would close later that evening.
Just when I entered the History section, I spotted a group of teenagers as they pulled out a book about our dear Sandro Botticelli. They whispered to each other in the same manner one would quietly talk in church, which only seemed fitting considering that this store was housed in a former house of God.
„Botticelli! Professor Romano drones on and on about that one. I don’t know, I mean he is good but never as great as Domenico Ghirlandaio.“ I almost dropped the book I had pulled out, my head flung around, and I must have scared these kids with the intense stare I had given them. Professor Romano?! PROFESSOR ROMANO OBSESSED WITH BOTTICELLI? Surely not. It was so on the nose I had to stifle a laugh. For a moment I had to remind myself that I needed to act human since I was in public. I placed the book back and pulled out my phone. My fingers flew over the smooth surface as I googled and opened the university's homepage.
With shaking hands, I scrolled through the list of current Lecturers and guest Professors. Sure enough, Marius Romano. Professor of Art and History. Popped up on my screen. I didn’t need his picture to be uploaded; the perfectly ambiguous white shape on a black background as a placeholder for his face did suffice. I knew it was him. I let out a laugh, earning the angry look of the incredibly proud-looking Scotsman behind the counter.
I left the bookstore immediately and made travel plans for Edinburgh. And now, as the students were settled and the lights were dimmed, I pulled the hood of my black hoodie over my auburn locks. I kept my head low and, like a thief in the night, snuck into the auditorium, finding a place all the way in the last row. I did my best to hide my excitement, lounged in the uncomfortable flip chairs as if it was my private sofa. I had brought no other utensils to make my masquerade more believable. No books, no stationery.
And then he appeared, his hair pulled back in a man bun? I raised my eyebrows in surprise and amusement. I hated that it suited him. He walked with the same familiar cat-like grace I knew from him. Personally, I thought the fake glasses were a bit much; he looked intelligent enough without them. And now, as his slender fingers gripped the lectern, he greeted the class with that low timbre of his voice that still sent shivers up and down my spine. How I had missed hearing his voice. I sank deeper into my chair so as not to reveal too much of myself.
Thankfully, since I am perpetually stuck in the body of a 17-year-old, neither of my fellow students nor the on-site security seemed to raise an eyebrow at my presence. Not like it would have made a difference if they did. Nonetheless, for once I was blessed by the fact that I perfectly fit into this scholarly environment.
The lecture began, and I had to admit he managed to make it engaging and interesting. Did he influence his students to pay attention with the mind gift? Maybe. But he had my full attention regardless. But I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t plan to mess with everyone involved a bit.
He finished his class, and the knocking on the tables echoed through the surprisingly modern auditorium when I raised my hand. His cobalt eyes shot towards me; I looked down at the table so he wouldn’t recognise my face. Doing the best I could to change my voice, I asked. „I’m sorry, Professor, I have a question.“ A wave of groans went through the room, as the students who had already packed their bags and were ready to leave plopped back onto their chairs in frustration.
„Did the Medici genuinely revive antiquity, or did they manufacture a version of antiquity that conveniently legitimised their own political ambitions?“ It was a tough question, one that made most of the students scratch their heads and stare wide eyed at the man of authority in front of the big screen. The corners of my lips curled upwards, while I peeked out from under my hood to see his perfect brows furrow. Even with the emphasized wrinkles, even with the thin layer of ash and blood he smeared on his face to look more human, he looked more beautiful to me than the last time I’ve seen him.
„Nôstine gentem Medicæam, magister?“ (Do you know the Medici family, master?) I added, with a fluent tongue, which made it obvious that Latin was no dead language for me. „Ē peri ton Botikellion perispōmenos ēstha, hōste autois mē syntychein?“ (Or were you so occupied with Botticelli that you did not meet them?) I added in Greek, the other language he insisted we’d learn under his roof.
All that evening, during the course of the lecture, Marius had felt the presence of his own kind. It moved through his limbs with the steady hum of a low electrical current. Someone had found out where he was, what he was doing, and had come to watch him. Possibly confront him. They were in this very lecture hall but he could not simply drop the facade. Though the energy was old, there were few older that could best him if a vampire sought out violence. Due to the Great Laws, most vampires also kept their lives and spats private, away from curious mortal eyes and ears.
While he spoke, his mind reached out to probe the thoughts of every soul in each seat and it became a process of elimination. All of the students, save one, was an open book. Exam anxieties, did they leave the hot plate on in their dormitory room, did Greg honestly think Julie would put up with his lying bullshit, a few picturing Marius without his clothing, and lastly, handfuls of students actually interested in what he had to say, building up the stack of questions they had for various topics covered.
Any other of his kind would either know to shield their thoughts or if they were his fledglings, unreadable, thus making themselves conspicuous among the chatter of mortal minds.
His cobalt gaze flickered over one such figure but he did not let on what he knew. Instead, smoothly transitioning into the finale of his speech.
At the finish, a voice called out to him with a question. At once, he knew. It was a cadence, tone, and inflection he'd know anywhere. From this moment, back and back through time to where he'd cradled a terrified but half-dead child in his arms. Starved and beaten, yet still demanding to know where he was being taken.
Amadeo. His Amadeo!
His heart leapt and to cover his hesitation, he played with the hand-written notes beside his laptop. He barely heard the question but then again, he could barely answer before there came the Latin close behind English and then the Greek.
He waited and then answered softly as if his beloved fledgling were any other mortal student.
"The Medicis did both genuine and manufactured revival of antiquity to benefit their political power. Art, literature, politics, propaganda, the shift in linguistics and cultural mindset. All of it working together to create a golden hour in the relatively short time span of mankind."
He switched to Latin then.
"Huius quaestionis responsum scis, Amadeo. Ita, eos novi. Cum iis cenavi. Opus a me mandaverunt quod Florentiam missum est. Tu ipse id curavisti me absente."
A smile curved his lips at the shift to Greek.
"Ypírchan polloí kallitéchnes pou thávmaza vathiá, allá oi Médikoi ítan oi prostátes mou."
Marius then held up his hands as others began to raise theirs for questions.
"No more, please. If you have burning questions, please submit them to me via the portal and I will answer them there. And do not forget that a three page essay is due on Thursday of next week regarding the connected nature of all three lectures as well as your interpretations of the knowledge. You are all dismissed, save one. They student with the question on the Medici family."

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Trompe-l’oeil | La Fricherie
The ruin of the lamb
prints
armand about marius in tva: "i loved him so much. he's the bestest greatest amazingest thing that happened to me back then. he loved me and i loved him. he clothed me. fed me. bathed me. made sure i was content and learning. made sure i was getting an education and socializing. i had a super great time with him."
the fandom, (and amc) somehow, for some reason: "MY POOR TRAUMATIZED BABY BOY. HE SHOULD DECAPITATE MARIUS IMMEDIATELY! HE IS SO TRAUMATIZED! HE CAN NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS EVER! huh, santino? who is that? MARIUS CAUSED ALL HIS TRAUMA. THIS IS ALL MARIUS'S FAULT."
*sighs*
30 Uncommon Character Development Questions ( send me a number )
What position does your character sleep in? ( i.e; stomach, side, back, etc. ) Describe why they do this — optional.
Does your character have any noteworthy features? Freckles? Dimples? A scar somewhere unusual? etc.
Does your character have an accent? What does it sound like?
Do they have any verbal tics? Do they have trouble pronouncing certain words or getting their thoughts across clearly?
What are their chief tension areas?
If you were to pick one song — and only one song — to describe your character, what would it be and why?
How does your character perceive themselves? Positive? Negative? Neutral?
Are they a quick thinker or do they need time to sort through their thoughts?
Does your character dream or are their nights filled with an empty blackness? Describe a dream they’ve had or a night they couldn’t sleep and what they did to preoccupy their time.
If they had a choice, would they prefer a subway or a bus for public transportation?
What do they think of creation? Do they believe in evolution or do they believe in God? What is their religion like?
Describe 5 unusual characteristics your muse has.
Have they ever been so overwhelmed they had to stop and take a break from something?
Are they a team player or do they prefer to be solo?
Can they multi-task or must they focus on one subject at a time?
What are their best school subjects? What are their worst? List five of each.
Is your character an introvert or an extrovert? How do they handle big crowds of people?
Are they a leader, do they prefer to follow, or would they rather just stay on the sidelines altogether?
If your character was suddenly challenged, would they rather run away or stay and fight?
If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would that person be and why?
Your character has been granted 3 wishes; what would they wish for and why?
Does your character trust people right off the bat or does it take them some time to warm up to someone?
Do they prefer romance or affection? What is the quickest way to your character’s heart?
Does your character have any enemies? If so, who and why?
Do they have any weird bedroom habits? Any unusual kinks?
How does your character prepare for bed? Do they sleep at all or can they stay awake for days on end without trouble?
If your character had one thing to say to their parents before they died, what would it be?
Are they afraid of death? Do they have any regrets?
Does your character get restless when things are too quiet or do they favour solitude and silence? Why?
Finally; if your character was forced to eat one thing for the rest of their life, what would they choose and why?

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Fishermen find ancient Roman shipwreck off coast of Sicily | CNN
Fishermen find ancient Roman shipwreck off coast of Sicily | CNN https://share.google/UrH5HM4t7DlfxWiA3
Italian spear fisherman and diver Giacomo De Mola couldn’t believe his eyes when what he thought was an underwater rock turned out to be the
Marius... a whole shipload of wine? Really? Alcoholic much?
"There was olive oil as well! For consumption, tinctures and lamps, my angel.
But wine, as you well know, was safer than any pure water for drinking. It was divided equally for myself and guests, cut liberally with water.
Remember that we had an entire cellar in the palazzo just above the waterline dedicated to barrels of vino for the household.
Need I also remind you, just who were the spirited young men that often returned well in their cups after entire evenings in the brothels, only to drink the day away while I rested or was tending to my duties?" Marius gazes at Armand with an amused expression.
"I distinctly recall disciplining Riccardo for allowing you to stagger into a canal where you nearly drowned! And the card games you'd both play with Bianca, where you were both so intoxicated, you gave up trying to remove your clothing after several rounds. Such ridiculousness!" His laughter rings out.
"Why do you have to call me out like that? And if I was such a hopeless drunk, you seemed to condone it. Probably because you enjoyed having us spirited apprentices there to make your dignified existence more interesting." His pout turned into a softer smile, his eyes glinting with amusement. "And for the clothing." His brow lifted, the innocence in his expression becoming increasingly suspect. "Do I hear a hint of regret that you were not there to assist both of us in getting out of them?" He let the question linger for a moment before his smile deepened. "Or how else would you remember all of this so vividly 500 years later?"
"Infinitely moreso, caro. I have such fond memories of it all. There were also plenty of evenings where I did divest you of your clothing, inebriated or sober. Cladding you in kisses from head to toe instead. You seemed to thoroughly enjoy the priceless velvet touches of my lips moreso than any silks."
A flicker of heat kindled in his eyes, turning them from cobalt into something more akin to sapphire.
*Armand noticed that familiar look on his face, and immediately he felt heat crawling up his spine. His lips parted for a moment; it didn't matter that Marius was forever shut out of his thoughts. It was quite obvious what images danced through his mind.* "Can you blame me? When your lips are softer and cooler than silk, yet caress with such passion that they leave a wildfire in their wake. But I fear it's been so terribly long, I might need a refresher. Would you care to give me a demonstration? And better be thorough so even the back of the class can take notes."
"Oh my dearest Amadeo, no matter how much changes over time, ultimately it all remains the same. Still so coy with me. Come into my arms and let me redress you in the attire you have missed for so very long."
Marius approached his fledgling and offered out his hand with a smile and expression full of promise, tinged with desire.
Orpheus Death, 1893 by Jean Delville (Belgian, 1867–1953)
Have your muse tell my muse what they think of them, right now!
protect em dashes.
protect “not x, not y, but z” format.
protect short sentence stacking as a stylistic choice.
protect fanfic writers—who are kind enough to share their works with people to read for free—from ai witch hunts, speculations and accusations.
“don’t like don’t read” also applies to any fic that is ai-generated and any fic you think is ai-generated by the way. if you don’t like what you’re reading for any reason, you can always stop reading and exit the fic at any point. but harassment is never ever justified. no matter if you think you’ve found a noble excuse to do it. and also…
witch hunts, speculations and accusations harm the writing community as much as ai does. if not more. I don’t want to see another innocent writer get driven away from the community because someone decides to harass and accuse them for using ai just because their fic happens to have “ai telltales” — the same telltales ai got from having been trained on millions of human-made works to mimic how real humans actually write.
This is so important and occurs outside of the fanfic space as well. I've seen authors get rejected because their book sounded 'too AI' when they're just the type of writer who knows how to use em dashes. I've seen content writers and copywriters spend hours on assignments they submit for job applications that reject them for 'using AI' that they never used to begin with! All while those jobs hire writers who did in fact use AI and prompt it NOT to 'sound like AI' (because yes that is something you can very easily do), and publishers work with authors who have openly mentioned using AI for 'editing and brainstorming' while receiving little to no backlash for it.
Also, no you're not some holier than thou smartass for presuming everyone who does not have em dashes/'not x, not y, but z' writing is writing without AI and vice versa. I especially hate when people in power like publishers, employers, and professors use this presumption to make life miserable for writers who genuinely love writing
I do use AI for writing but mostly for it's intended purpose because I don't have an editor. For example:
"Hey AI, is there a way I can word this absolute hot-garbage sentence into something not hot-garbage? Brain no go."
"Hey AI, can you tell me if these paragraphs make me sound like an asshole?"
"Hey AI, I'm drowning in my Too Much gene pool, please help?"
"Hey AI, what is my word count on this? Really? WHY AM I NOT WRITING NOVELS INSTEAD OF FAN FIC AND GETTING PAID FOR THIS MANY WORDS?!"
And very rarely, "Hey AI, I'm not in the right headspace, can you tell me if these passages sound right for this character?"
I know some people are dead set against anything and everything AI but it really does help with editing sometimes. I can even pick and choose if I want to even use what AI suggests because not every sentence or correction is necessarily the right one or sounds the way you want it to sound.
The only thing I criticize people for, is when they use AI to write almost entirely for them then pass it off as their own work. They're lying to save face or because they think they'll be judged harshly. I don't judge harshly for using AI even though entire AI novels aren't my cup of tea. I just hate the lying.
Fishermen find ancient Roman shipwreck off coast of Sicily | CNN
Fishermen find ancient Roman shipwreck off coast of Sicily | CNN https://share.google/UrH5HM4t7DlfxWiA3
Italian spear fisherman and diver Giacomo De Mola couldn’t believe his eyes when what he thought was an underwater rock turned out to be the
Marius... a whole shipload of wine? Really? Alcoholic much?
"There was olive oil as well! For consumption, tinctures and lamps, my angel.
But wine, as you well know, was safer than any pure water for drinking. It was divided equally for myself and guests, cut liberally with water.
Remember that we had an entire cellar in the palazzo just above the waterline dedicated to barrels of vino for the household.
Need I also remind you, just who were the spirited young men that often returned well in their cups after entire evenings in the brothels, only to drink the day away while I rested or was tending to my duties?" Marius gazes at Armand with an amused expression.
"I distinctly recall disciplining Riccardo for allowing you to stagger into a canal where you nearly drowned! And the card games you'd both play with Bianca, where you were both so intoxicated, you gave up trying to remove your clothing after several rounds. Such ridiculousness!" His laughter rings out.
"Why do you have to call me out like that? And if I was such a hopeless drunk, you seemed to condone it. Probably because you enjoyed having us spirited apprentices there to make your dignified existence more interesting." His pout turned into a softer smile, his eyes glinting with amusement. "And for the clothing." His brow lifted, the innocence in his expression becoming increasingly suspect. "Do I hear a hint of regret that you were not there to assist both of us in getting out of them?" He let the question linger for a moment before his smile deepened. "Or how else would you remember all of this so vividly 500 years later?"
"Infinitely moreso, caro. I have such fond memories of it all. There were also plenty of evenings where I did divest you of your clothing, inebriated or sober. Cladding you in kisses from head to toe instead. You seemed to thoroughly enjoy the priceless velvet touches of my lips moreso than any silks."
A flicker of heat kindled in his eyes, turning them from cobalt into something more akin to sapphire.

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The Talamasca archives were never truly silent. Even when the corridors stood deserted and the lamps burned low above the reading tables, there was always the quiet presence of centuries pressing against the walls.
Paper remembered. Ink remembered. Human fear, above all, possessed a remarkable habit of preserving itself in writing.
My position within the Order was an unusual one. I was neither a full initiate nor entirely external to it. The Talamasca preferred the word consultant, though the term suggested a degree of freedom that did not truly exist. My access was carefully measured and granted only when my particular skills were required.
My academic background lay in art analysis and psychoanalytic interpretation. Unexpected disciplines, perhaps, for an organisation devoted to documenting the supernatural, but remarkably useful ones. I had spent years studying how artists encoded ideology, desire and fear within visual language. The same instinct applied easily to the Order’s work.
Where others saw scattered testimonies, I often saw structure. Behaviour repeating across decades. Patterns of violence and restraint. Obsessions concealed beneath apparent coincidence. The Talamasca collected the evidence. My task was to interpret the mind behind it.
Several weeks earlier, I had been commissioned to produce a psychological profile of a classified subject. Every identifying detail had been removed, leaving only behavioural observations, fragmented witness accounts and patterns of movement gathered across several decades. At first, nothing appeared particularly unusual by Talamasca standards. Then I found the name. It sat within the middle of an otherwise meticulously redacted report, left behind through what I assumed was some minor clerical oversight.
Marius.
Everyone connected to the order, knew that name, I should have ignored it. Instead, I began searching. Curiosity is perhaps the most dangerous instinct a scholar possesses. We like to pretend our training protects us from it, that methodology imposes restraint. In truth, it only refines the obsession.
The name appeared elsewhere. A marginal note in an eighteenth-century observation from Rome. A passing reference within correspondence between two agents in Venice. An annotation composed in careful academic Latin by a scholar who had clearly assumed his reader already understood exactly whom he meant. Each mention was brief, but together they formed a trail through centuries of Talamasca records. A trail that eventually led somewhere I was not authorised to go. The deeper archival branches required clearance several levels above my own. They contained the Order’s longest and most sensitive observations, files maintained across generations and never intended to circulate amongst consultants. I should have stopped there. Instead, I manipulated the permissions system until it allowed me inside.
The complete Talamasca record on Marius de Romanus was extensive. Centuries of observation. Reports written by generations of scholars who had watched him move through history with deliberate, almost unnerving restraint. There were movements across Europe, associations with artists, collectors and historians, and long disappearances followed by quiet reappearances decades later. The tone of the reports fascinated me. Other supernatural subjects were described through the aftermath they left behind: violence, hysteria, bodies, ruined households. Marius appeared differently. His presence was recorded through intellectual circles, private collections, architecture and art. He emerged not within centres of political power, but within environments devoted to beauty, scholarship and preservation. He did not merely endure history. He appeared to curate his place within it.
I copied the file and smuggled it home to study. My notes spread across the desk of my home office. Dates were mapped against one another, associations traced through centuries, contradictions examined and re-examined. What began as casual reading became analysis, then reconstruction. Certain patterns emerged repeatedly. Long cycles of withdrawal, followed by deliberate re-entry into the world. A consistent gravitation towards intellectual environments rather than social prominence. An apparent avoidance of the impulsive violence commonly associated with the beings the Talamasca observed. That absence interested me most.
Whatever Marius truly was beneath the mythology surrounding him, the reports suggested a mind governed by discipline so profound it bordered upon ritual. Every movement appeared considered. Every identity carefully constructed. Even his disappearances seemed less like retreat than acts of psychological preservation, as though he periodically removed himself from the world before it could alter him in ways he had not chosen.
And yet the control was not absolute. There were inconsistencies buried within the reports. Certain names resurfaced. Certain losses seemed to precede his longest disappearances. The Talamasca recorded events, but rarely understood the emotional architecture beneath them. I found myself increasingly interested in what the reports omitted. Why did a being capable of surviving centuries repeatedly return to human art and scholarship? Why preserve the creations of mortals whose lives must have seemed impossibly brief? Why build identities so carefully if he considered himself entirely separate from humanity? The evidence suggested contradiction. A mind apparently capable of thinking in centuries, yet still drawn towards individual people, objects and places with an intensity the observers seemed oblivious to.
By midnight I had begun writing a profile I had never been asked to produce. It started clinically. Notes on psychological restraint. Identity formation across centuries. The effects of prolonged existence upon memory, attachment and self-construction. But the document soon became something more intimate. A portrait of a man who had lived long enough to watch civilisations become ruins, yet continued to surround himself with the evidence that humanity had once created something beautiful. By the time dawn began to bleed through the curtains, I had been awake for nearly twenty-four hours. The profile had grown far beyond any legitimate academic exercise. If the Talamasca discovered it, there would be questions. Not polite ones.
I encrypted the document immediately. Biometric access. External monitoring. Alerts for any attempt to open, duplicate or remove the file. Once secured, I concealed it within an isolated folder and convinced myself that the entire affair had been nothing more than scholarly indulgence.
For several days, nothing happened. Then, late one night, my phone vibrated beside the bed. The sound woke me instantly. It was not my usual notification tone, but the one assigned to the encryption system. I stared at the screen.
External duplication detected.
The file had been accessed and copied onto a remote external drive.
Worse still, the access had not come through the Talamasca network. Someone outside the Order had found it. A mortal possessing that information would be dangerous enough. The profile was not folklore or speculation. It was an analysis constructed from centuries of Talamasca observation. Anyone with the proper instincts might begin asking questions the Order had spent generations preventing people from asking.
But another possibility followed immediately. What if it had not been a mortal? A psychological profile could become a weapon in the wrong hands. It revealed patterns, motivations and vulnerabilities. I had written it with the detached curiosity of a scholar, but someone with a grievance could use it as leverage. And the subject was not some anonymous creature buried within the archives. It was Marius de Romanus.
“I am so royally fucked,” I whispered to myself in the dark.
For the next week, I barely slept. I returned to the archives each morning pretending nothing had happened, while every vibrating phone and passing colleague sent a fresh current of dread through me. I read and reread reports without absorbing them, lost track of conversations and watched the doors as though someone might enter at any moment and quietly ask what I had done. Eventually, I decided I had no choice but to confess.
I arrived early, rehearsing what I might tell my supervisor, only to stop the moment I reached my desk. A cream-coloured envelope rested upon the blotter. My name had been written across it in an elegant, deliberate hand. Beside it sat a small box. The archive was empty. None of my colleagues had arrived. The air conditioning system hadn’t even kicked on yet. I was completely alone. I opened the letter.
The writer did not threaten me. He did not accuse me of theft, trespass or extraordinary stupidity. Instead, he calmly acknowledged my interest in his history. Several of my conclusions, he wrote, had been intriguing. Others might benefit from clarification. There was something almost courteous within the phrasing, but beneath it lay the unmistakable knowledge that he had read everything. Every observation. Every interpretation. Every private conclusion I had drawn about the architecture of his mind. He wished to discuss them with me.
Near the bottom of the page was a final, politely worded remark. That I should take greater care not to lose this again. The this, being a flash drive that sat in the small box that accompanied the envelope.
“I am so royally fucked,” I said to myself.
Marius leaned back against the heavy wooden table in his private studio and closed his eyes. He removed his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose to soothe the ache gathering behind the cobalt blue of his gaze.
In order to maintain the illusion that he was mortal, he wore a slightly powered set of hand-tinted readers that dulled the iridescence of his preternatural vision and created just enough imperfection around his eyes to make their use seem necessary. Along with this, he maintained the time-honored tradition of smudging a mixture of ashes, blood, and, now, the occasional drop of concealer over his face and hands.
It was all it took to blend seamlessly into human society.
It did not, however, come without minor physical irritation.
Marius welcomed that.
There was something strangely comforting about the inconvenience. The ache behind his eyes, the slight pressure of the lenses, the necessity of pretending that his body required assistance—all of it made him feel, in some small way, more human.
This time, Edinburgh had called to him.
Quite literally.
Six months earlier, the Conservation Studio had contacted him regarding a collection of eleven paintings scheduled for exhibition at the National Galleries of Scotland, alongside examples of buon, secco, and mezzo frescoes on loan from museums and private collections around the world. At least four of the paintings were in dire need of conservation, restoration, and repair before they could safely be displayed to the public.
Owen, though an expert in his field, had decided that the collection required a specialist in Italian Renaissance painting.
Marius Romano was precisely that.
A noted fresco artist and art conservationist, Marius had been living under the alias and working quietly in Genoa for as long as anyone could remember. His private studio had also become a school for particularly gifted students with a passion for the old methods of creating art—the techniques that had survived centuries only because someone, somewhere, had cared enough to teach them.
Times had changed considerably since Marius had gathered assistants and apprentices into his palazzo, drawing from Venice's seemingly endless population of boys and young men in need of structure, education, discipline, and purpose.
Yet the desire to teach had never left him.
Neither had the desire to preserve what humanity was in danger of forgetting.
He wanted to bring those ancient techniques into the modern world while saving the artworks that were already on the verge of being lost.
After countless hours of evening conversations and meetings conducted through his smartphone with Owen and the staff at the National Galleries, Marius had temporarily shuttered his business in Genoa and set out for the cultural heart of Scotland.
A month before his arrival, he had negotiated through a real estate company for the purchase of an 1860s Baronial villa called Avallon, designed by the same architect responsible for Balfour Castle. Located on Clinton Road in Edinburgh, it was ideal for the privacy he required. The property even contained a separate lodging house that had been converted into a private studio.
By the time Marius arrived, every inch of the grounds had been renovated and furnished to his specifications.
There were only a few details he had insisted on choosing personally.
The sarcophagus, purchased from an antiques dealer and installed in the lower storage cellar of the estate in case he required emergency shelter from the day.
Another private studio, this one closer to the National Gallery and The Conservation Studio.
And, of course, the Aston Martin Vantage coupe, finished in precisely the same shade of blue as his eyes, which he used to travel between them.
For the moment, however, Marius was resting in his studio near the National Gallery.
His assistants had left only moments ago, and the silence that followed their departure seemed to envelop the entire space. Around him, Renaissance paintings rested upon easels in various stages of restoration, their damaged surfaces emerging slowly from centuries of neglect beneath the careful hands of conservators.
The studio was deliberately kept dark, protecting the fragile pigments from unnecessary exposure to light.
His mark on Edinburgh's artistic culture was not the only one present in the city.
He was well aware that Edinburgh housed a Talamascan archive and satellite motherhouse only a few meters from the museum and university. More importantly, his various electronic methods of keeping tabs on the sometimes meddlesome organization had recently alerted him to something that piqued his interest.
Someone had been digging around in the restricted archives.
Nothing contained within the Talamasca could truly surprise Marius. The organization had been, in essence, founded by his maker, Teshkamen, for the very purpose of observing him.
He looked back fondly on his friend, Raymond Gallant, and his brief tenure with the Lorwich Motherhouse.
Over the centuries, the Talamasca had accumulated extensive documentation on Marius: his bloodline, his associates, his movements, and even many of the works he had created during his years in Venice and beyond.
What surprised him was the renewed interest.
More specifically, the sudden attention of a contracted associate working here in Edinburgh.
Marius opened his eyes.
He slowly lowered the hand holding his glasses, letting them dangle from his fingers while his other hand flattened over the dried marks of paint on the table.
The renewed interest and probing into his many lives and his history, even as he was physically present in the city, could not be mere coincidence.
This Rowan girl had written a full profile on him.
What had started as purely neutral observations had shifted into something far more personal—a curious, almost tender portrait of who he was and how he had lived.
A soft smile curved the edges of his wide lips.
She was enamored.
She was also due any moment for a visit.
He had made no secret of his current location. In his letter, he had jotted his studio address beside the warning at the bottom of the parchment. If the Talamasca had been unaware of his proximity before, they were certainly aware of it now, assuming Rowan was being watched as carefully as he suspected.
The gift of the flash drive had been additional proof that it was truly he who had accessed her file.
They would take the letter into their archives as well.
Another piece of evidence.
Another fragment of Marius de Romanus to be preserved for posterity.
And this mortal woman, who had begun her investigation from the safe, distant fringes of the Talamasca's attention, would soon find herself thrust into its very center.
Perhaps she had no idea what she had just uncovered.
Perhaps that was the most interesting part.
I had spent the better part of three days reconstructing Marius’s movements through Edinburgh, although this time I had enough sense not to touch a single Talamasca database while doing it.
So every bit of research happened outside the Order. My personal laptop. Public Wi-Fi when I could manage it. Ordinary records anyone with sufficient patience and questionable hobbies could access. Property filings. Conservation publications. University staff pages. Archived exhibitions. Professional directories. Planning permissions. Corporate registrations. Academic databases. Museum newsletters. Newspapers. The great, sprawling midden of information modern civilisation had decided was not confidential simply because nobody sensible had the time to assemble it all into one place. Fortunately, I was not feeling particularly sensible.
By the end of the first day my browser history looked like the aftermath of an academic nervous breakdown conducted jointly by a property solicitor and an Italian Renaissance conservator. By the end of the second, a pattern had begun to emerge. And then I found the name. Marius Romano. Under that name, however, he had constructed an impeccable professional life. Genoa appeared several times. Restoration work. Private commissions. An atelier specialising in historical methods.
His Edinburgh residence was telling. Private without being remote. Substantial grounds. Separate structures. Far enough from neighbouring properties that unusual hours would not attract much attention, but close enough to the city that he could participate in its cultural life without inconvenience. He had included the studio address in the letter he left for me. An invitation, if one were being charitable. A summons, if one were not. Either way, I had no intention of going. Yet.
Walking voluntarily into the private studio of a vampire whose psychological profile I had compiled from centuries of restricted records struck me as the sort of decision eventually reproduced in Talamasca training material beneath the heading Examples of Preventable Consultant Fatalities.
I could already imagine the incident report. Subject entered immortal vampire’s private residence alone despite explicit knowledge that subject was an immortal vampire.
And beneath it, in Eamon’s handwriting:
For fuck’s sake, Rowan.
The annoying thing was that part of me genuinely wanted to see the studio. I wanted to know what he painted now. Whether he had embraced modernism at any point or simply watched the twentieth century happen with increasing offence. Whether someone who had witnessed Roman wall painting, medieval iconography, Renaissance perspective and Baroque theatricality looked at conceptual installation art and thought, yes, naturally, this is where civilisation was heading.
My curiosity, unfortunately, has never been particularly interested in self-preservation.
Then I found the university listing. Marius Romano was lecturing at my alma mater. He had a timetable.
Monday and Wednesday evenings. Advanced undergraduate level. Italian art and culture across the classical and early modern periods. I sat staring at the screen for long enough that it dimmed. Edinburgh’s cultural institutions had always bled into one another. The university, the galleries, the museums, the libraries, the conservation departments. Scholars taught museum seminars. Curators supervised postgraduate work. Conservators appeared in lectures. Everyone attended everyone else’s conferences, borrowed everyone else’s specialists and complained about funding over coffee. There was nothing inherently suspicious about Marius moving between those worlds. What bothered me was that they were also mine.
The university. The galleries. The libraries. The old stone buildings clustered around the centre of Edinburgh like somebody had designed the city specifically to ensure historians never had to walk more than fifteen minutes before finding another archive. I knew those streets intimately. Which cafés tolerated academics occupying tables for three hours over a single flat white. Which university doors swelled in wet weather. Which library staff could be persuaded to overlook an overdue book if you apologised with sufficient sincerity. Which lecture halls became tropical after forty-five minutes and which seminar rooms contained projectors that appeared to function entirely through spite.
If the Talamasca had begun paying closer attention to me after the breach, disappearing from my ordinary routine would only make matters worse. So I did the opposite. I became aggressively normal. I went to work. Answered emails. Attended meetings. Complained about deadlines. Drank coffee with colleagues. Behaved exactly as Rowan had behaved before Rowan developed an extracurricular research interest in ancient vampires.
By Monday morning, however, I had decided the university was worth investigating properly. That was where I possessed something Marius did not. Alumni privileges. Never underestimate institutional bureaucracy.
I still had contacts in the department, people who had known me for years. Not the artificial professional acquaintances one accumulated on LinkedIn and occasionally congratulated beneath career announcements, but actual relationships built through office hours, conferences, bad coffee and the strange emotional intimacy created when another human being has witnessed your gradual deterioration over the course of a dissertation. Dr Wolf had personally recommended me for the PhD programme. Dr Davies had taught me Latin for four years and still knew exactly how I took my coffee because I had spent an unreasonable percentage of my undergraduate education in his office demanding explanations for the crimes of Marcus Tullius Cicero.
I made a handful of calls, keeping everything comfortably within the boundaries of ordinary academic nosiness. I did not ask whether the department had recently employed a Roman with suspiciously firsthand knowledge of Renaissance artistic practice. I merely mentioned that I had heard about the conservator working with the galleries and discovered he was also teaching. Nobody found my curiosity unusual. Academics are professionally incapable of leaving interesting things alone.
Within half an hour I had everything including a copy of his syllabus. That was unfortunate. Because it was excellent. Not respectable. Not merely competent. Excellent. Roman visual rhetoric. Material culture. Workshop systems. Patronage. Renaissance humanism. Venetian colour theory. Religious imagery after Trent. Fresco practice. The political function of portraiture. The persistence of classical visual language within Renaissance artistic theory.
“Oh, you absolute bastard.” I thought to myself. Under literally any other circumstances, I would have wanted to audit the course. Then it occurred to me that circumstances did not actually prevent me from doing exactly that. He had invited me into his studio. I would go to his lecture instead.
His studio was his controlled territory. His belongings, his architecture, his exits, his lighting, his rules. Walking through that door would mean accepting the encounter exactly as he had designed it.
The university was different. It was public. More importantly, I knew the place. I had studied there. Worked there. Argued with professors there. Presented research there. Cried in toilets there. Celebrated marks there. Consumed enough terrible vending-machine coffee there to establish some kind of territorial claim through caffeine poisoning alone. If Marius wanted home-field advantage, choosing my alma mater had been a tactical error.
A few more calls and I had permission to sit in that very evening. Academic networking had officially become espionage. As a student, I had always arrived early. Obnoxiously early.Today, arriving early would make me conspicuous. So I waited. The scheduled start passed. A voice carried faintly through the door. His. I gave it another thirty seconds. Then I opened the door. Corridor light spilled briefly into the darkened theatre. I quietly closed the door and moved towards the seat I had already chosen through the glass. Back row. Aisle. Closest exit. I sat down, took out my notebook and finally looked towards the front of the room.
Alright, Professor. Teach me something
Marius always wore red, in some varying shade. A semi-private reminder of his sanguinary heritage, a mark of the timeline running through his veins.
Red also made certain that he was the central focus in any space he inhabited.
The Latin was a surprise. The voice inside my head that wasn’t my own was considerably more so. Every muscle across my shoulders tightened at once, my jaw locking hard enough that I half expected it to crack. Still, I refused to look away. I knew a power play when I saw one. Perhaps I should have paid more attention in chess club. How did the Queen’s Gambit work again? Sacrifice something early, take control of the centre, pretend you knew exactly what you were doing? Wonderful. Very applicable.
Chīrographum tibi dedī. Mea fide, puella.
I understood him perfectly well enough. I went through four years of academic hell to do so. The puella I elected to ignore for the moment. Instead, I let my attention drift deliberately beyond him, towards the projection screen and the vast interior surrounding it.
McEwan Hall had always been excessive in precisely the way Edinburgh did best, dressed in intellectual respectability while quietly indulging every theatrical instinct imaginable. The great dome curved overhead in painted splendour, its figures suspended high above us amongst allegories of art and knowledge, while ornament crowded nearly every available surface. Frescoes, carved detailing, arches, gilding. Even the architecture seemed determined to remind everyone seated beneath it that learning was meant to be something grand.
It was difficult not to appreciate it. More difficult still not to suspect that Marius had known exactly what effect it would have. The hall suited him. Against all that Renaissance-inspired grandeur, he should have looked almost too modern. The projection screen behind him certainly did, filled with infrared scans, conservation images and technical diagrams that would have appeared positively alien beside the painted goddesses overhead. Yet somehow he managed to sit comfortably between the two worlds. Red again. I had noticed that already.
Another Renaissance image appeared on the screen, a work attributed simply to an unknown artist. There had been two of those now, both slipped casually amongst recognised masters, restoration diagrams and reflectography studies as though they belonged there without comment.
That one yours? I sent the thought back as best I could, though I had absolutely no idea whether thoughts required direction in the first place.
Considering he had apparently walked into mine with all the difficulty of opening an unlocked door, I suspected not. That raised a considerably more interesting question. How much could he actually access? Surface thought? Intentional thought? Memory? Could he rummage around at will, or was the mind less an open book and more a badly organised archive full of incorrectly labelled boxes and one catalogue system abandoned sometime around 2007? There was really only one way to find out.
Mallards. I pictured one immediately. Green head. Yellow bill. Orange feet.
Anas platyrhynchos. Duck. Anas. Aqueduct. Viaduct. Via. Road. Romans built roads. Marius was Roman. Marius spoke Latin. Fuck.
The trouble with having spent too many years studying Latin was that apparently every attempt to think about absolutely anything else eventually led back to Rome. All roads lead to Rome. Wasn’t that the bloody truth. Maybe I could throw him off through the sheer absurdity of my own mind. Or perhaps I should stop thinking about ducks before I somehow arrived at Julius Caesar through migratory patterns.
I drew a slow breath through my nose and forced my attention back towards the stage. The lecture, irritatingly, made that easy. He was good. Not simply knowledgeable. Knowledge could be acquired, memorised, footnoted and delivered with sufficient confidence by anyone willing to spend enough years buried beneath books. This was something else. There was an ease to the way the material connected under his hand, technique leading naturally into patronage, patronage into politics, conservation science back into philosophy. Nothing existed in isolation. Paintings became objects, objects became evidence, evidence became fragments of the culture that had produced them. Even the building seemed to participate in the argument.
Christ. Why did this have to be so interesting? I thought.
I found myself writing again before I had consciously decided to, my notes spilling into the margins I had originally intended to reserve for observations about him. References to pigment degradation sat beside comments on underdrawing and restoration ethics. At some point I underlined a point about infrared reflectography twice.
I knew this language. Not Latin, precisely, but scholarship. Paintings, pigments, provenance, restoration. The endless argument between what an object had originally been and what centuries of collectors, restorers, historians and institutions had decided it ought to become. Here, at least, I was no longer entirely outside my depth. Whatever else Marius was, whatever strange rules governed the creature standing beneath that enormous painted dome, this was terrain I understood.
Every so often my attention drifted from the projection towards him instead. Not enough to stare. Enough to observe. The clean line of the dark shirt beneath the lights. The burgundy of his trousers appearing richer whenever he moved through the warmer pools of illumination. The spectacles that looked so perfectly ordinary. The strange contradiction of a man who had apparently taken considerable care to make himself appear mortal while simultaneously choosing the most visually commanding room available to him.
There was something difficult to articulate in the way he spoke about the period. Perhaps knowing what he was had made me predisposed to hear intimacy where there was merely expertise. Confirmation bias. Almost certainly. Still.
By the time the lecture finally drew to a close, I had almost managed to forget the fundamentally absurd circumstances that had brought me there.
The change in the hall happened gradually. Attention fractured. Chairs shifted against the floor, the sound multiplying across the vast room until the elegant space was suddenly full of ordinary human noise again. Bags were gathered from beneath seats. Coats appeared over arms. Conversations began almost immediately, fragments of discussion rising beneath the dome as people compared notes or debated some point from the lecture before they had even reached the aisle. I stayed where I was.
From the back of the ground floor, I had a clear view as the audience began thinning between us. Students moved out in clusters, some already discussing the lecture with the particular intensity of people who had just discovered the subject they intended to make everyone else hear about for the next six months. Academics lingered longer. A few people remained nearer the front with notebooks or programmes in hand, evidently willing to compete for whatever portion of the lecturer’s attention remained available. There seemed little point joining them. He knew I was here. More importantly, he knew why. So I closed my notebook and rested it across my lap, letting the hall empty around me.
Without hundreds of bodies filling the seats, McEwan seemed to grow larger. The dome felt higher. The painted figures overhead became more visible as movement below them diminished. Empty rows appeared one after another between the stage and where I sat, polished surfaces catching the warm interior light.
My fingers tapped once against the cover of my notebook. Mallard. No. Absolutely not. We’re not doing that again. I shut the thought down before it could become an aqueduct again and settled deeper into the chair, waiting.
"Yes, it is mine."
An affirmation regarding her silent question, spoken soft and low in close proximity, as if he were quite suddenly in the seat next to Rowan's, leaning in to be heard without disrupting the discourse.
Of course, that was impossible. He was the discourse.
The seat beside her was already occupied and Marius had his back to the assembly, describing all that he and his team had discovered thus far. He shifted back a step to lift his arm in a sweeping gesture, index finger tracing the outlines of a sketches on a canvas that showed the architectural foundation of an artist contemplating and altering his composition.
Hidden from clear view, the Roman was smiling.
The girl scrambled desperately to recover her own thoughts, as if she were attempting to snatch up important papers that had exploded and scattered by a furious gust of wind. A startled flock of birds, a skein of...ducks?
Unconventional. Amusing.
He liked her very much already.
Marius continued through the rest of the lecture, providing information on-screen at the conclusion about how to reach him and for the upcoming exhibit. There was a round of applause and the lanky figure took his accolades before descending the steps at the side of the stage.
So many business cards placed in his hand, so many meetings and media appearances to juggle, brief questions to answer and shop talk. Marius patiently indulged every mortal and quietly reminded them that his free time was only in the evenings, that his assistant would make certain everything was booked, and lastly that he was a bit worn out from it all but due back in the studio to finish up work for the remainder of the evening.
As the last of the lingering stragglers drifted away, a blanket of silence enveloped the massive hall and he turned to go collect his laptop and notes when he heard it.
"Mallard."
He stopped mid-step, one foot upon the floor of stage, the other on the step below. Knowing it was just she and he sharing the space, he began to laugh aloud now, the sound was deep and rich. It bounced from goddess to goddess and he turned to gaze at Rowan, still fixed firmly in her seat.
"Why ducks, child?"
Another confirmation that he could hear her inner voice.
Yes, everything. For now.
"I am surprised that even as a fringe contractor, they did not teach you how to lock down your mind against creatures like myself. They must consider you an acceptable sacrifice and that does not sit well with me. I do not think they are aware of just how valuable you are."
The vampire's initial inquiry had carried over the distance but the second half was quiet, close.
Marius was sitting beside her now. One long leg crossed over the other to position him at nearly a 45° angle in the chair. One arm braced along the back but curled, graceful hand supporting his temple while the other hand clutching the discarded glasses in his lap.
He radiated casual friendliness in both face and posture despite the ominous words and the vivid irridenscense of his predatory cobalt eyes.
"We Romans take a promise of safety, security, and hospitality very seriously. While you are beneath any roof that you and I share or in my company, no harm will come to you. Not from myself or any of the others."
He repeated the words with a soft expression before it changed to a more rueful one.
However, it is with regret that I must relay the Talamasca's negligence in precautionary instruction or an immediate halt in your assignment, whatever that is, tells me that your life is already forfeit."
The ducks vanished. All of them. Mallards, geese, the entire imaginary population of Duddingston Loch scattered from my consciousness the moment Marius was suddenly occupying the seat beside me. Whatever clever answer I might have produced to why ducks, child? disappeared with them. A pity, really. I was reasonably certain it had been devastatingly witty.
For several seconds, I said nothing.
McEwan Hall was never meant to be quiet. Even empty, the place seemed built to preserve sound. Every cough, every shuffled programme, every footstep across the polished floor ordinarily climbed into the galleries and returned slightly altered. I had sat in this room before amongst hundreds of other students, had listened to lectures beneath that ridiculous painted dome, had attended ceremonies and events where silence was something imposed rather than natural. Now, with the audience gone and the last conversations retreating somewhere beyond the doors, the enormous hall seemed to have contracted around two people.
One of whom had just informed me, with the composure of someone commenting on the weather, that my employers had apparently decided I was expendable. I turned my head slowly towards him. The first thing I noticed was the posture.
Nothing defensive. Nothing overtly threatening. If anything, he had arranged himself into the visual vocabulary of familiarity, the sort of posture one adopted while sharing an after-dinner conversation with an old colleague. Open. Relaxed. Almost warm. His files mentioned he was well mannered. I could have laughed at that.
“Well, Look on the bright side, I suppose I do not have to pay my taxes if I end up dead from an assignment.” Dark humour had always been a shield of mine when facing danger or uncertainty.
There was something almost academically fascinating about the contradiction. He had removed the spectacles that softened his face for the mortals in the room and with them went one of the more convincing pieces of the disguise. Those eyes were impossible at this distance. Not merely blue. Irridescent. Wrong in the way certain colours in medieval manuscripts were wrong when photographed because the mineral pigment caught light differently from everything around it. Beautiful though.
I wondered if all of this was deliberate to put me at ease. Then immediately remembered that wondering things in the presence of a telepath was rapidly becoming an exercise in public humiliation.
Brilliant.
My eyes moved briefly towards the stage rather than away from him entirely. The projection screen remained illuminated, his contact information still displayed above the abandoned podium, utterly mundane evidence that twenty minutes ago this had been an academic lecture and not the strangest disciplinary meeting of my life.
“Your work is good, by the way.”
I glanced back at him. “You’re right about one thing, though. They haven’t taught me much in the ways that apparently matter.” I shifted slightly in my seat, turning enough now that avoiding him would have required considerably more effort than looking at him.
“My contract explicitly excludes fieldwork. I’m not an operative. I’m not supposed to confront anything, chase anything, interview anything or, generally speaking, place myself within biting distance of anything.” There it was. A joke, technically.
My fingers tightened once around the edge of my notebook. “I’m given material. Written records, photographs, works of art, archaeological evidence, occasionally something unpleasant preserved in a specimen jar. I analyse it, contextualise it and write a report. Someone else decides what happens afterwards.”
The words sat rather differently now. “I am useful precisely because I’m not field personnel. They wanted someone who could look at an illuminated manuscript and notice that the supposedly thirteenth-century marginalia used a pigment unavailable in western Europe until considerably later. Or recognise when the iconography in a painting didn’t belong to the period someone claimed it did. Or tell them that whoever translated a Latin inscription had apparently sat in the same senate as Cicero. I hate him by the way. Bane of my existence.”
My gaze dropped briefly to the glasses in his lap before returning to those impossible eyes. “What they perhaps underestimated was the extent to which curiosity becomes an occupational hazard when you give an academic access to an archive and then tell her there are doors she isn’t supposed to open.”
That, at least, was unquestionably my own fault.
I had opened the door. Copied the file. Written the profile. Not merely what Marius had done, but what the pattern suggested about the person doing it. The restraint. The disappearances. The repeated gravitation towards artists and scholars. The strange consistency of attachment across centuries that should, statistically speaking, have beaten such tendencies out of a person. I had taken the Talamasca’s specimen and tried to reconstruct a psyche from the fragments. And he had read it. That particular reality remained deeply uncomfortable.
Particularly when I remembered that privacy had apparently ceased to exist somewhere around the moment he discovered my inner monologue contained migratory waterfowl.
“I suppose they underestimated the lengths my curiosity would take me.” My voice had grown quieter. “Or they estimated them perfectly and this was expected.” That thought had occurred before. It had never felt quite so unpleasant as it did now.
Your life is already forfeit.
He had promised safety beneath a shared roof. In his company. From himself and from others.
“My life is already forfeit,” I repeated softly. The phrase sounded absurd in my own voice. Not frightening in the theatrical sense. There was no sudden pounding of my heart worthy of a horror film, no urge to scream or bolt towards the nearest exit. Fear did not always arrive dramatically. Sometimes it came quietly, disguised as concentration. Sometimes it was simply the awareness that the assumptions upon which you had constructed your safety were no longer reliable.
I had assumed being useful offered a certain degree of protection. Apparently I had made the elementary mistake of assuming an institution valued the individual because it valued their work. History really should have cured me of that.
“That is an extraordinary thing to tell someone and then sit there looking like we’re discussing disappointing peer review.” My eyes narrowed slightly. “And I would like to point out that acceptable sacrifice was not mentioned anywhere in my onboarding paperwork.”
There. Humour again. A pressure valve. I let it go and looked at him properly.
“What exactly are you telling me?” My voice remained level.
“That they know I’m here? That they should have pulled me the moment you discovered the profile? That they know I crossed a line and have simply decided to see what happens?”
That last possibility was the one I liked least. Because Marius himself was comprehensible, at least in theory. Not safe. Certainly not human. But there were patterns. Motivations. History. A psychological architecture beneath the mythology. I had spent enough time studying him to know that much. An unknown variable was considerably worse.
“And before you tell me to walk away, you should know that suggestion has historically had the opposite of its intended effect on me.” A faint, rueful smile touched my mouth. “Yes, I am aware that is a character flaw.”
I rested my forearms against my knees, notebook hanging loosely between my hands.
“Besides, walking away now does not unlearn anything. And apparently my mental defences amount to hoping my subconscious produces enough ducks to eventually annoy vampires into leaving me alone." I paused. “Which, for the record, I still consider a developing strategy.” The smile lingered for perhaps another heartbeat before falling away.
What bothered me more than the declaration of danger was the promise preceding it. Safety. Security. Hospitality. Not vague assurances. Principles. That interested me.
“The Romans did take oaths seriously,” I said, tilting my head slightly. “Although Roman ideas of obligation tended to become rather complicated once fides, patronage and reciprocal duty entered the equation.”
My expression sharpened with genuine curiosity now. “So how much of Rome survived?”
I made a small gesture between us. “Not the language. Clearly that survived. Not the aesthetic sensibilities either, judging by your wardrobe and your inability to resist that building.”
My eyes flicked upwards towards McEwan Hall’s vast painted interior. “I mean the actual framework. Fides. Hospitium. The idea that giving your word creates an obligation independent of whether fulfilling it remains convenient.”
There was another question beneath that one. I suspected he would hear it whether I articulated it or not. Can I trust your promise? But asking it directly would have been almost meaningless. Trust was not something one obtained by asking a potentially dangerous creature if he was trustworthy.
Behaviour was evidence. Consistency was evidence. Promises mattered only when keeping them became inconvenient. So instead I allowed one eyebrow to rise.
“Although if you tell me you still keep a fascinum hanging somewhere for protection against the evil eye, I am going to need a moment.”
There. That was a joke I was rather proud of.
“Who are the others, Marius?” For the first time since he sat beside me, I let the full weight of the situation remain where it belonged. No joke immediately followed it. No academic abstraction softened it into something easier to examine.
Because I could be clever about the Romans. I could joke about ducks and Cicero and phallic amulets until sunrise. But I was not stupid. And there was an important distinction between refusing to be intimidated and refusing to recognise danger.
“If I am in danger, I would rather understand the shape of it.” My fingers closed around the notebook. “And if the Talamasca has decided my life is an acceptable price for information, I would very much like to know that before I send them my next report.”
Marius listened as Rowan spoke, offering neither reply nor interruption. He had done a great deal of talking already, but this was an entirely different subject—and, like art, one he knew well.
Unlike art, however, it was an unfortunate subject to know intimately.
papa