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Based on the song Is It Still Beautiful (Hospital Playlist 2 OST) by Seungkwan, Woozi and DK of Seventeen
Pairing: Arts and Travel Blogger!Namjoon x Restaurateur!Fem Reader
Genre: Angst, Exes AU
Rating: 16+
Word Count: 2.3K
Warnings: None
Summary: After three years of traveling in and around Europe to feed his hunger and passion for travel and the arts, Namjoon returned home to his first love.
“Namjoon, are you ready?” Hoseok stuck his head through the door of his hotel room, suitcase lagging behind, ready to leave.
“Yep!” Namjoon patted the pockets of his jeans. “Just making sure I have everything with me before I leave.”
“Passport?”
“Here,” Namjoon took a peek inside the fanny pack across his chest for good measure.
“Come on, let’s go. Yoongi hyung is already at the airport,” Hoseok pushed the door wide open to assist his friend with his suitcase. “He’s gonna start whining again if we’re late.”
“Our flight is in three hours!” Namjoon looked at his friend incredulously.
“Tell him then!” Hoseok challenged.
“Yeah, no. Nevermind.”
*********
The usually bustling Incheon International Airport wasn’t that crowded when they landed, and so the three of them have decided to stop by the cafe for something to nibble on before they go their separate ways.
“Ah, it feels good to be back home,” Hoseok sighed leaning back on his chair as he chewed on his bagel. “I swear, I can’t wait to speak in my jeolla dialect 24/7.”
Namjoon and Yoongi chuckled at their friend’s statement. The three of them have been friends since high school and equally have big dreams. They were away for three years collectively, with Yoongi and Hoseok working together in the international music scene, hopping between the US and the UK, and Namjoon exploring arts in and around Europe. Finally being able to take a three-month break at the same time, the three friends have decided that it’s a no-brainer– they have to fly back home to their motherland.
“Planning anything exciting while we’re home?” Hosek asked them. “My sister is getting married in Jeju Island, but I don’t have any other plans during my stay.” He continued.
“I’m gonna head straight home and probably hug Holly for hours,” Yoongi smiled at the thought of his pooch. “Heading straight to Ilsan, Joon?”
Namjoon hesitated, nibbling on his lower lip. A beat of silence passed until he realized that his friends were waiting for his answer. “I’m checking in at a hotel for the night and then I'll head to Ilsan tomorrow.” He didn’t miss the way his friends exchanged glances between each other. “I’m visiting ______ at her restaurant today.”
“Yah, Namjoon-ah…” Worry flooded Hoseok’s face. He was about to say something when Yoongi waved his hand dismissively at him.
“Let him. He needs it.” Yoongi turned to Namjoon, giving him a tight-lipped smile and an encouraging nod.
He’s right. He needed it. He needed to see how things have turned out himself.
THREE YEARS AGO
The cozy atmosphere in the quaint little cafe did nothing to calm the cold and the storm raging inside Namjoon’s chest as he clutched your hands on top of the table.
“It’s not fair to either of us…” You looked up at him, almond-shaped eyes gazing into his sharp dragon eye-shaped ones. The soft glow from the fairy lights hanging by the window reflecting against your glassy eyes made your chocolate-colored orbs a little bit more sparkly. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Namjoon nodded, albeit holding back his own tears. He wouldn’t let you see him break. Hell, he’s not even sure if you really meant that much to him… what did you really mean to him? You were like a moth drawn to a flame. He’s the flame whose warmth radiates so brightly, you have mistaken it for something more. He had big dreams, bigger than anything else, bigger than what he felt for you. As much as he could see how supportive you were on his travels, and how you listened to him as he constantly rambled about arts every night while tangled up in his sheets, he still felt like you were pulling him back. He felt constrained, like a balloon tied up to a boulder, he couldn’t soar up high. You’re a simple girl– you're passionate about food, produce, and farming. You grew up on a farm and your dream has always revolved around bringing the freshest ingredients from the ground to the consumer’s table. He, on the other hand, wanted to see what the world has to offer. He once asked you to travel with him during his internship in Paris, and although you didn’t say much, he knew your heart wasn’t in it.
You’re right. It’s not fair to either of you. Asking you to uproot yourself and travel with him was not the risk he would want to take, for fear that in the end, you might loathe him. For fear that in the end, he would realize that what he felt for you isn’t love. After all, that is the territory neither of you have tried dipping your toes into.
“I get where you’re coming from, ______.” Namjoon gave you a reassuring smile before bringing your hands to his lips, giving your knuckles a gentle kiss. “Thank you,” another kiss. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be that person for you.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” you returned his reassuring smile. “Go follow your dreams, Namjoon. I won’t be able to forgive myself if you don’t.”
“Do you promise to keep in touch?”
“I promise.”
“Go accept your dad’s proposal, ______.” He reached out and tucked the loose strand of hair hovering in front of your face behind your ear. “Take over the family business. I’m rooting for you.”
You nodded.
The night ended with you in his tight embrace in front of your apartment, promising each other to stay friends, no matter what.
*********
At first, I was comfortable being alone
I had freedom with my decisions and my time
It was like I had erased the memory of you
I really believed I did
But, you see, when I open my eyes early in the morning, alone
I just checked into my accommodation in Paris. My agent said the renovations aren’t done at the new apartment complex so I have to stay here for another week. Bummer, eh?
By the way, I have taken a lot of photos during my layover and will be posting them on the blog tonight. Can’t wait for you to see them!
Glad you made it to your accommodation safely. :) As long as the museum would shoulder the extra expenses for your accommodation, I guess it’s alright? Hope you’re eating well.
My parents were over the moon when I told them that I’m ready to take the business off of their plate. I’m a bit scared! But my dad said his business partner would help me. Apparently, their eldest child took over their farm about a year ago too. So I guess I would be okay!
Merry Christmas! I saw your Amsterdam photos on Instagram and it is indeed beautiful! We’re having so much fun on this side of the world too. We made little Christmas trees and decorated them with real strawberries (baubles) and spun sugar (tinsel).
<3,
___________
******
It’s one of those nights again… streaks of colors decorated his blank canvas, creating an abstract in a rough floral pattern, depicting you… your softness, your femininity; depicting his longing. He didn’t know how to overcome those nights over the years, so he indulged them. He owed it to himself. It’s one of those nights again when he found himself running to the nearest payphone booth to call you from across the globe. It was secured, untraceable, and the minutes were limited. It would restrict him from pouring his heart out to you over the phone. He just wanted to hear your voice. He just wanted to hear your smile, as he closed his eyes, imagining you’re standing in front of him. He just wanted to numb his pain. He missed you… and the realization hit him like a tonne of bricks. He loved you. He was in love with you.
*******
Have any of the things that used to make me smile changed?
Is the way in which you talk still the same?
I have changed, I don't smile like I used to
I'm a little thinner than when I was with you
On the last days you comprehended me
I mistook it and believed you were imprisoning me
Saying that I was too manly for it, I didn't even say I love you
But my blank sheet of paper is now filled with your name
And when I call you while writing down and I hear your voice
Tears start flowing without me realizing
*******
True to your words, you both kept in touch over the years. Each major life event, each milestone; every occasion, every celebration, documented electronically via e-mails and social media posts and comments.
You cried over the phone to him when you opened your own farm-to-table restaurant. Solidifying and finding comfort for himself that your mutual decision of breaking up all those years ago was all worth it.
He couldn’t not tell you when his boss allowed him to go on a three-month long vacation, and like the kind-hearted person that you were, you invited him over to your restaurant insisting that you would be making him the best ‘welcome home’ meal that anyone would be jealous of.
The night before his flight back home, he rummaged through his inbox and reread your emails in the last few months. He mulled over your words and the photos you have attached. You looked the happiest– your eyes lighting up, forming into crescents, with every smile. It tugged on his heartstrings a little bit, wishing he was the person who could make you smile like that. But there are things that he couldn’t just bring back. The best he could do is to hold onto those memories… and maybe one day, forgive himself, too.
*******
Have any of the things that used to make me smile changed?
Is the way in which you talk still the same?
I have changed, I don't smile like I used to
I'm a little thinner than when I was with you
*******
PRESENT DAY
You ran up to him the moment he opened the door to the empty restaurant and gave him the warmest hug anyone could ever ask for. He couldn’t help but close his eyes as he rested his chin on your shoulder while hugging you back. You said you closed it down for the day because you wanted to focus on filling his tummy and not worry about the other customers.
“Joonie!!!” You giggled. “Oh my god, it’s been so long!”
“Ahh, it has indeed!” Namjoon straightened up and scrunched up his nose at you. “I smell something delicious!”
“Come in!! Come sit at your table!” You ushered him at one of the tables, a tall glass of iced americano and a selection of tea, already waiting. “Do you wanna know what we have on the menu for you today?”
“Pray tell!”
“Well, okay, I don’t want to tell you everything,” you rolled your eyes and he hated that he still found it cute. “But I harvested a bunch of greens from the back and made you a salad, with strawberries and feta! I’m pretty sure you’re gonna love the sweet and savory combination.” You proudly said, talking animatedly.
Namjoon couldn’t help but smile up at you. You’re like sunshine personified.
“And for the main course, it’s– oh gosh,” you caught yourself. “Just… surprise!”
Namjoon took a moment to take in his surroundings. Everything screamed you. The restaurant interior was cozy and rustic, and just gave off the farm-slash-barn vibe that you have always dreamed of. Just one look outside of the massive windows, and one would know that the restaurant served only the freshest ingredients, harvested and prepared in-house.
The door of the kitchen swung open and a brooding tall handsome man stepped out, approaching the two of you with a warm smile. He’s dressed in a chef’s jacket and Namjoon recognized him from the photos you sent him over the months. He knew who he was.
“Oh finally!” You acknowledged the man. “All good back there?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Namjoon watched as you stepped away to meet the man’s strides halfway. You snaked your arm around his waist and rested your other hand on his chest. Namjoon stood up with a smile and bowed to him politely in greeting, which he immediately returned.
“I can’t wait to finally introduce you two!” You said, eyes fleeting between the two of them.
“Hi!” the tall handsome man extended his hand to him for a handshake and Namjoon accepted it with both hands.
“Namjoon, meet our Executive Chef!” You smiled proudly. “This is my husband, Seokjin.”
*******
How is he?
Is he good enough to you to make you forget the days we spent together?
Please be happy, because you met a person good enough to fill the places in which I lacked
Synopsis: Fontaine is, among other things, a nation of romance, and you find yourself at the mercy of one of its oldest traditions.
Foul Legacy x Reader
Pronouns: Gender Neutral (no pronouns mentioned)
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: Allusions to anxiety and battle
~ * ~
Someone’s been leaving flowers on your doorstep.
It started about a week ago, right after you returned from a job on Elynas. Ready to collapse onto your bed for the night, you hadn’t even noticed anything until your foot brushed against the petals of a freshly picked marcotte, right on top of your welcome mat. Then the next day, a romaritime, and a lumidouce bell after that. Only one per day, but always freshly picked and covered in dew.
Marcotte- “I treasure your friendship.”
This type of thing isn’t entirely unheard of- quite the opposite, actually. Fontaine prides itself on being “romantical” alongside being the nation of Justice and Hydro- honestly, you’re not sure how many more signature traits one city can take. Still, giving flowers to someone you fancy isn’t exactly out of the ordinary in the Court. Many nobles even take time to study the language of the blossoms, arranging bouquets for their loved ones depending on what message they want to send; marcottes for friendship, pluie lotuses for gratitude, rainbow roses for love, and so on.
You just never expected it to happen to you- who would waste time giving flowers to a workaholic agent of the Marechaussee Phantom? Rarely were you ever home to admire them, although you found them beautiful, and you’ve never been good with plants, nor were you close to any of your coworkers other than a couple of the Melusine who looked up to you. All you could do was shrug and put any new blooms you received in some water, the vase overflowing with flora of all types and colors, and go on with your work, as a Marechaussee agent never rests.
Somehow, the flowers haven’t withered yet. You admire them on cold, lonely nights, the sweet scent making you hum in the moonlight.
Your new assignment is again on Elynas- something about rifts and odd magic summoning unearthly monsters- and you catch a quick ride on a passing ship, since the aquabus doesn’t go to Elynas yet. The air is hot and humid, your clothes sticking to your skin as you traverse the bone-scattered landscape, avoiding the rogue mekas and treasure hoarders. They’re not yours to deal with, not yet. Though it seems like someone else is already on the job, a few violently destroyed automatons blocking parts of the path, torn to shreds.
The air turns dark and smoky as you approach a clearing in between the mountains, a symbol in the ground glowing oddly purple and patrolled by floating hounds. As soon as you get close they attack, snarling and howling at your unwelcome presence with blank, shining eyes. A few swishes of your blade makes them crumble, your skills with a weapon outmatching your need for a vision. Still, the sun has long set by the time you’re done clearing the area, using what knowledge you have of Teyvat to scrub any trace of the purple symbol from the ground, and by the time you arrive home you’re covered in dust and exhaustion.
Another flower lays near your door, a richly-colored pluie lotus, and despite your irritation your lips twitch up into a grin.
Pluie lotus- “Thank you for being here.”
You’re free from work the next morning, as you receive at least one day off every month, courtesy of Monsieur Neuvillette. Normally it’d be a blessing to have a break, for most people, but you always find yourself rather bored and restless, being so attached to your job. So you do what you always do- return to the site of your previous investigation. It’s just a once-over, you tell yourself. Just one more check, to be completely certain that the area is safe again, obviously!
In truth it’s so you don’t go mad with boredom, giving yourself something work-related to do since it’s all you’ll worry about anyway.
The beastly hounds haven’t returned when you make your way into the valley, and a smile of satisfaction crosses your lips, folding your arms and nodding firmly. Someone’s even cleaned up more of the clockwork mekas around the island, too! You know that your coworkers don’t bother checking sites they’ve left- why would they? Most of the time, there’s no need for it. But you do it anyway, for your peace of mind and to keep your heart from fluttering nervously in your chest, lest you worry yourself into a stupor.
A rustle suddenly sounds from a nearby grove of trees and you whirl around, one hand on the hilt of your blade. You scan the area slowly, eyes landing on a pair of… something sticking out from behind the branches, red and slightly curved, unlike any plant you’ve ever seen. You take a step forward and the red things emerge- they’re horns, attached to the crimson mask-like face of an otherworldly creature, several feet taller than you and covered in black and violet armor.
The creature tilts its head, blinking its single crystalline eye, and you’re met with a gaze of clear, hopeful blue, like the sea.
It’s monstrous.
It’s Abyssal.
It’s beautiful.
Yet you still move to unsheathe your weapon, ready to defend yourself at any minute. The Abyss is like a poisonous flower, dazzling but deadly- that is what Monsieur Neuvillette tells each and every agent of the Marechaussee Phantom, so that they don’t get swept away by corrupted waves- and the monster’s eye widens, taking a step back. It whines softly and lowers itself towards the ground, towards your height, trying to appear smaller. When you don’t strike first it slowly moves closer, small chirping sounds slipping from its fanged maw, and you stiffen as it reaches for you, grip tightening around your sword.
But it doesn’t attack- no, instead it extends a hand, and in its palm lays a perfect rainbow rose, freshly picked.
Your mouth hangs open in shock, gasping as realization seeps into your mind, blooming like a bouquet of flowers speckled with stars. The fingers around your blade loosen and fall, instead moving to delicately grasp the rose by its stem, the horned beast’s claws gently brushing against your skin.
The petals of the blossom lightly touch your nose as you breathe in the pleasant scent, the scent you would catch wafting from perfume shops but always refused to indulge in, unsuited for such luxury. A gentle smile spreads across your face, your features relaxing from their stern expression for the first time in months, and through the sound of running water comes a deep, rumbling purr of adoration and delight.
Rainbow rose- “I love you.”
Hi I just wanted to say that I LOVE your shy s/o series so much 🥺🥺🥺 I was wondering if you would be able to do another where it's a shy s/o asking "Can I touch you", where they want to touch their characters chest, kiss their scars, etc. Like it can be mutual (between the s/o and the character touches) but the s/o builds up enough courage to ask (like just very wholesome) 🥺🥺 I was thinking Diluc, Albedo, Childe, Xiao and anyone else you want.
^ thank you for your patience!! I hope you like it!
also, good luck everyone on pulling for Childe - may this gingered haired man bring you conquest ;)
Warning -> slight lemon* (touching (a lot of touching**), making out, kissing, interruptions ...)
Character X GN Reader | Anthology
Includes: Diluc, Albedo, Childe, Xiao
Diluc
You wanted to touch him so bad, but you knew it was hard for him to be that vulnerable with others, and hard for you to build the courage to ask him
It was during a warm summer day when you gained the bravery - he was standing in his bedroom with his shirt off, his muscles highlighted by the sun as it flooded through the window
He is beautiful. Unbelievable, incredible, unrealistic in his beauty and you wondered how someone could be this attractive. You had been staring at him for a while now, the passing of time seemed unimportant to you.
“You’re eyes, I can feel them.” He said, glancing over his shoulder at you.
“Ah … sorry.” You looked at the floor and felt the warmth of embarrassment rise across your face.
“It’s fine. You’re allowed.” He was always giving you permission, his level of patience when it came to you knew no bounds.
“Am I … also allowed to touch you?” You mumble, glancing at him from underneath your bangs.
He put down the shirt he had been fussing with and extended his hand to you. The sun filled his palm and spilled through his fingers, like sand through a sieve. Slowly, you walked toward him, placing your fingers in his golden palm.
It’s been so long since he let someone be close to him like this - the nerves in his stomach were going wild
When you stroked his skin he almost couldn’t take it; it was everything to him to experience your touch, he’d built up his walls so high and with a simple brush of your hands they came crumbling down
The sun burned your back as you stood in the light that flooded through the window, but it wasn’t nearly as hot as your fingers running over his chest. Those were steaming and you wondered if you’d have any fingertips left by the time you were done.
You traced the scars which covered his body. He had several on his arms, wrapping around his bicep and running up to his shoulder, and as you took inventory of them your fingers followed along the discolored skin. As you slide your fingers down to his chest you couldn’t ignore how his hand tightened around your own, his grip reassuring and encouraging you to keep going.
His chest had several scars from past battles he’d be hesitant to share with you. One stood out to you, an interesting shape, almost like a multi-pointed star in the center of his chest. It was practically in your face and something drew you to place a soft kiss against it. He grabbed your hip and pulled you close to him; you loved the sound of his breath as it passed through his throat.
You pulled away and watched as his chest moved, as he breathed, and the way his skin became covered in goosebumps as you trailed your hand down to his stomach, around his hips. He hummed and the sound sent a shiver down your spine. He took your hands in his, pressing them to his skin, and leaned down to rest his head against yours.
His heavy breathing made your chest tighten, his thick tone made your knees weak, “If you go any further, I won’t be able to handle it.” His words turned off all the functions in your brain and the only thing left was the drive to feel him even more. You pulled your hands from his and slipped your fingers between the fabric of his pants and the soft skin underneath them. He sighed, not out of irritation or annoyance, but out of yearning.
Suddenly, he lifted you from the ground and carried you to the bed where the two of you fell into the sheets. “I warned you.” His voice was husky and before you could say anything he descended onto your lips, his hand pulling your chin down so he could taste your tongue.
Albedo
It was so challenging, bridging that gap of being connected with Albedo. Normally, the two of you keep your hands to yourself, but the desire to feel him, to caress his skin was boiling over
You were sitting next to him and the urge began again, he was so close to you and his skin so touchable - you started with a simple stroke across his hand. He opened his palm to you and the gesture emboldened you
He was looking at several documents, as he usually did. The smell of books and shaded pages filling the space, and of course, Albedo’s scent which you had grown so fond of inhaling. It was pleasant, floral fragrances mixed with patchouli and, of course, parchment. It pulled you in and kept you close, but never close enough.
It was hard to make the first move, but Albedo was always so generous and typically followed your lead; if you were okay with it, then he was okay with it. He never pressured you, not once, to move faster or further than you could handle. It was sweet and frustrating at the same time. If only he would just make a move, you wouldn’t stop him.
So, instead, you started small. Resting your hand against his, holding onto his jacket, or sitting close enough to him that your legs touched. He always let you test your boundaries, and today you were having such an impatient time with the line you had drawn. You decided to change that, to inhale bravery and exhale your desires. Today, you were going to take a step in the direction you wanted to take with him, and you hoped he wouldn’t turn away.
“Albedo.” You call out to him. He pauses his musings and turns his head to you. “Can I … hold your hand?” You point at his left hand and reach out yours to him.
“Oh, of course.” He moves it to you and triumphantly you take it. Carefully, you run your hands up his arm until you come to rest at the top of his glove.
“May I?” You slip a finger under the fabric but wait for him to give you permission. He nods his head, a little curious you’re sure, but he doesn’t stop you.
You peel his glove off and rest it gently onto the table before you begin to examine what was underneath. Running your fingers over his arm you smiled at the golden strands of hair dancing in the sunlight, became giddy at the way his fingers flexed and relaxed when you manipulated them and traced your fingers over a small scar on his wrist. When you looked back at him he was watching you intently, his face relaxed but his breathing seemed faster.
Solving the mysteries of the world was the only thing he ever had on his mind. There wasn’t anything he’d really wanted than to answer the question his mentor had given him, and to see her one last time, but ever since he met you there was a growing desire in him to learn more about you, to experience new things with you
This, having you touch him was incredible, and it made his whole mind go blank - he’d never been in a situation where he didn’t already know how to deal with it, tackle it, explore it, and right now he felt out of his element
Perhaps it was okay to dive into the unknown sometimes, and everything about you was unknown to him
You were busy examining his palm when you felt something brush against your face. Glancing up you saw Albedo’s hand next to your face, his fingers incredibly close.
“Would you oblige my request too?” You closed your eyes and nodded, when his fingers connected to your cheek you let a small gasp of air. As they moved from your cheek to your neck, to your shoulder you shifted next to him so he could reach you easier. It wasn’t fair that he could render you useless with a simple gesture, so you opened your eyes to return the gesture.
He turned and moved closer to you, the two of you practically sitting on one another as you began to go further and further with your touching. You remove the highest buttons on his shirt and slide your hands under it, feeling his neck and shoulders. He removed the light jacket you were wearing, the fabric pooling around your elbows until it eventually got in your way and you tossed it to the side. The both of you were getting desperate to see more, touch more, experience more, and what started as a simple, innocent request to hold his hand had turned into a heated exchange of requests.
It was like the two of you were playing a game of war, each trying to pull down the other, but Albedo was winning, and before long he had you lying against the couch, his body above you.
“Can I kiss you…” He requested, ever the knight, ever the gentleman.
“Yes.” You pant and quickly he pressed his lips against yours. This wasn’t the first kiss the two of you had shared, but it was the most passionate. His hand cupped around your face, yours gripped tightly onto his shirt. There was no way people would know that you were normally shy and timid, that you kept to yourself because right here, right now you were being bold. The boldness seeping from your skin at the same rate as your body heat.
He pulled away from your mouth and hovered over you as the two of you tried to catch your breath. It was so hard. Your body was ablaze with electricity, your fingers a writhing mess as they pulled against his shirt begging him to come back.
He was nearly there when the door to his office opened suddenly. “Mister, Albedo. I’m sorry to inTRUDE ….!? AH! I’m so sorry!” Sucrose yelled, the items in her hands spilling out onto the floor.
“Ah, Sucrose … um.”
“I’ll come back!” She slammed the door closed and you heard her footsteps fade quickly into the now shattered atmosphere. The two of you pulled yourself back together. He fixed his shirt, tugging on the bottom of it after returning the buttons to their holdings. You smoothed your hair and wiped your lips with your thumb. In the silence, you heard voices echo in the hallway and as you looked at one another a laugh came bubbling out of your throat.
Albedo stood, and you handed him his glove. “I’ll be back.” He smiled, taking his glove and placing a quick kiss on your nose.
“Please, apologize to Sucrose for me.” You giggled, picking up one of the books on the table and covering your face with it.
Childe
He is all about you initiating touch - but respectfully, he gave you the time to get comfortable with him - so it’s likely you could have multiple opportunities to touch more and more of him if you wanted - just be careful, because he’d have a hard time holding himself back
You walked in on him after he just finished in the shower. His hair dripping and shining in the light, his skin speckled with droplets of water, and his lower half hidden with a towel. The shock of seeing him in this state caused your brain to short-circuit and react nervously.
“Ah! I didn’t … I didn’t know you were here!” You backed up into the doorframe, its sharp edge digging into your back as you collided with the wood. Desperately, you covered your eyes with your hands and hoped he couldn’t read the embarrassment underneath your makeshift wall.
You felt his hand wrap around your own and as he pulled it away you were face to face with him, a playful smile reaching his eyes. “Are you sure you didn’t come in here on purpose?” He kissed the back of your hand and chuckled to himself, “I wouldn’t be upset if you did.”
“No, I didn’t.” You closed your eyes and shook your head. He was so close, his scent overwhelming, a mix of sandalwood and amber that pushed against you and held you against the doorframe. It made your head swim, your arms weak and heavy.
He pulled your hand to his chest and when your fingers grazed his skin you gasped. “You are welcome to do whatever you want, I won’t mind.”
He loved getting you flustered, it was so adorable the way you reacted and did your best to stay composed even as he pushed you to the edge
It was like you were a rabbit trapped in the corner while a wolf towered over you; he had captured you and couldn’t help but play with his prize
You kept your hand over your face even though you wanted to look at him. The nervousness and hesitation which you’d had your whole life was holding you back, no matter how badly you wanted to claw your way away from it. You were just about to break through when Childe let go of your hand, his presence gone.
He laughed and while he spoke playfully, you sensed he was a bit disappointed. “It’s no big deal, I might have pushed you a bit too hard.”
His statement spurred something in you. You wanted to prove to him he didn't push you, you wanted to show him how much you wanted to touch him, how badly you wanted to express your feelings through your fingers. The little voice in your head screamed and it was like an invisible force pushed you forward. Stumbling, you reached out and grabbed onto his toned arm, wrapping your hands around him as best as you could.
“I want to touch you!” The words flew from your mouth as if they were the last words you’d ever be able to get out. He turned to look at you, his eyes wide, mouth slightly open. “I mean …” You unfolded your spine, standing a bit taller but keeping your hands where they were. “If you don’t … mind. I want to touch …” He didn’t need to hear anymore, in an instant you were lifted off of the ground.
Childe carried you to the nearest surface and sat you on it. Items were still dropping to the floor when you finally settled, your back flush against the wall and legs dangling on either side of him. He claimed one of the hands you had resting on his broad shoulders and pulled it up to his mouth, his breath hot against your fingers, “Touch me.”
You’d never been so emboldened in your life, the butterflies in your stomach were captured in an instant and when you ran your fingers through his hair a new sensation filled your body. A sensation that stole your breath and clenched your sternum.
His hair was soft, light, and fluffy. It fell around his face, which as you run your fingers over his forehead, you couldn’t help but take in desperate breaths as you watched his eyes close and mouth dance between parted lips and a pleasing smile.
You traced his jaw and ran your hands down his neck, along his shoulders, over his collar bone. He had abandoned your hand some time ago, giving you free rein over his skin. There was something so rewarding about seeing him grip tightly onto the dresser as you touched him. It made you feel unbelievable pride and you were starting to get greedy with it.
Childe was yours, he came to you, chose you, wanted you. Watching him react to your touch was incredible, it was like an achievement that flashed above your head, “Conquering of Snezhnaya” plastered in ruby letters and adorned with a golden frame. You won ... today.
Xiao
It’s so tempting to touch him - his skin is always taunting you and it’s getting harder and harder to keep your desires to yourself, even if you felt the embarrassment trickle in behind your want - you wanted him to trust you and the both of you needed to take things slow
You watched as he stood in the slow-moving stream. His feet obscured by the dark water and his hands shifting through the surface. He stood and splashed the cool water on his face, and you felt the tug in your chest to be brave
You knew how violent his life was and how long he’d spent it going alone, thinking back on the times where he walked this world without a single person to share it with make your heart sink into your shoes.
As he bent over into the water, his hands dipping into the cool stream, his hair falling around his face and the muscles in his back stretching at the action, you couldn’t manage to pull your eyes away. Even with the scars on his back, you found him to be one of the most beautiful beings you’d ever laid your eyes on, and you wondered for the thousandth time why he let you be in his life. Not only because he was so out of your reach, but because he was normally so closed off. However, he never seemed to push you away.
He sat on one of the large rocks lining the stream and the fabric which decorated his waste rested on the water, flowing and dipping beneath the surface as he sat there. You watched as he tried to run the water over his back and the nerves in your stomach give you an idea.
“Xiao.” You stood up from your place and walked over to him, he didn’t answer you, instead, he glanced over his shoulder. “I can help you if you’d like.” It made your ears warm at the thought of doing something so forward with him, I mean, the two of you barely held hands.
“Do as you wish.” He kept his face to the water, but you swore you could see a tint of red on his ears.
Xiao is sensitive - not in the way that things hurt his feelings, more in the way that he can sense what is going on around him
It’s often painful to be around so many people because he can sense all of their worries, fears, wishes, desires and he just wants to block them all out - it was just easier to be alone and to not let people get too close; deal with the problem and move on was his motto
When it came to you, that reservation which consumed you was like a clear box he could easily peer inside of - he knew your inner thoughts, even if you didn’t outwardly express them
The wind was warm and hinted at summer as it blew across the water, through the leaves in the trees, and against your face. The face that already felt so hot as you ran your hands down the back of the being you never imagined would let you be this close.
You dipped the cloth in the water and wrung out the excess before placing it onto Xiao’s back. As you wiped his shoulder and watched the water run down his bareback, you found it hard to stay focused and calm. You were sure your hand was shaking as you cleaned the dirt and grime from off of his skin, but it was the first time you were touching him, feeling him, and being so close to him that it was just a lot to deal with.
Even with the scars, his back was so smooth and as you cleaned him, you wondered how much further you could go. You placed the rag down next to Xiao and proceeded to run your fingers along his back. Sliding down the length of his spine, shaping his shoulder blades with the tips of your finger, the pad of your thumb. Your hands ghosting over his shoulders and down his arms, taking time to trace the lines of his tattoo, their twists and turns sending you into a trance. You were so transfixed on his skin, the feel of it, the look of it that you didn’t notice the goosebumps you were leaving in your wake, or how meekly he was calling your name.
When he shot up from the rock and turned to face you the spell was broken and you recoiled your hands into your chest. His cheeks were a lovely shade of pink, a shade that complimented his jade green eyes and jet black hair perfectly.
“Xiao … I-I don’t know where …. I’m sorry.” You stammered, trying to find an excuse as to what happened. You rubbed your hand against your forehead and through your hair before turning around and walking back to your pack, which you had left resting against a tree.
You stood, tossing the bag over your shoulders and when you turned back toward the stream Xiao was standing in front of you. He startled you, making you jump slightly and grip tightly onto the straps of your bag. Slowly, he walked closer to you until your back was against the large tree, its shade offering a delicious accent to Xiao’s chest. He reached for his shirt, his face incredibly close, so close you could still see the dampness of his hair.
His face had returned to normal, and the familiar sternness present in his voice as he spoke, “We will finish this later.” The words rattled in your brain and a wave of excitement washed through you. He walked away and threw his shirt over his head, the fabric clinging to his curves and muscles. Turning back to look at you he had a slight smirk on his lips. “Let’s go.” He jerked his head in the direction the two of you needed to go and eagerly you followed after him.
Being a long-time fanfic writer is such a weird thing, because on one hand you are positively convinced you could never be good enough for actual publication, while on the other hand you go and read some (a lot) traditionally published books, and holy crap, are they bad, like really bad, and yet they are (semi-)successful, and you could absolutely do better than them.
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Summary: nunnally decides to clear lelouch’s name and lelouch - conveniently - around that time decides to visit his sister in disguise, because he just misses her so much. but what happens when he learns that people for some reason can’t remember him as a bloody emperor?
A/N: this fic is turning out to be longer than 15k already, so i will post only one part here, as of.. a “prologue”, or just a feel for you to what this story might bring with it. the rest i will upload on ao3! im really proud of this work :D enjoy!
also… im finally coming back to my favourite formatting of this “description” part for the fics, finally :D its been a mess last four fics, sorry! also sorry to everyone who doest follow me for code geass content, i will write different things too, dont worry!
Warnings: mention of a panic attack, no serious proof-reading
Wordcount: 4k (Prologue)
“Nunnally, I do not agree with this,” Suzaku said firmly, looking the empress straight in the eye, brows furrowed together.
“Suzaku-kun, I understand why you’re upset, but this will not harm the people in any capacity. I do this for my brother,” she stated just as strongly, not daring to shift her gaze elsewhere from his emerald pearls.
“But that doesn’t matter, using this power is just wrong!” he was almost yelling now, clutching his hand in the fist.
Whenever someone was talking about geass or even thought about using it, he always had severe reaction to that topic, probably due to all the trauma and suffering that it caused.
Kururugi has never had a fight with Nunnally yet, they had a calm relationship full of mutual love and trust. Despite her being Lelouch’s sister, she was never like him in any sense. And Suzaku feared the day once he’ll start to see the similarities. Despite loving his friend beyond any measure, his actions and thinking was oftentimes just.. extreme, to say the least. Extreme and dangerous, he was never supposed to gain the power he got ahold of. That’s what was going through Japanese’s mind as they were arguing with Nunnally.
She looked at him wide eyed and he could almost be able to see how the wall of trust they’d built together cracked ever so lightly, as the young empress lowered her gaze and sighed.
“Zero, this is an order. Tell Lloyd to have it ready by tomorrow,” there was such unfamiliar coldness in her tone that it made Suzaku stop in his tracks as she turned around in the wheelchair and started to drive away from him.
It was unfamiliar from her, yet.. so familiar from Lelouch.
There was hardly a day when he didn’t think of him. Either cursing him or praying to him to come back.
He didn’t wear a mask right now, because they were talking in the empress’ private rooms where no servants had access to, so he could be himself around here, yet.. yet she addressed him as Zero.
Suzaku’s green eyes shifted slowly, now looking at his feet.
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Stopping at absolutely every gift shop along the way so they can buy stupid little presents for each other.
Singing along to the music that's playing at the top of their lungs.
Having deep conversations that they would otherwise never have.
Making fun of the driver's driving.
Bringing their furry friend along to enjoy the trip with them.
The person in the passenger's seat trying to navigate where they're going but they're navigationally challenged. Cue childish arguments and yelling as the stress gets to them.
The passenger insisting that they drive for a while but the other hates the way they drive.
The third person chilling in the backseat with their headphones on while the other two chatter away in the front.
Hysterical laughter when the driver makes mistakes.
Coming up with new insults.
The driver bringing the passenger's free hand up to their lips to kiss.
The excitement that happens each time they see a store they've wanted to visit for ages.
Introducing new songs to each other to help the time pass by.
sooo i haven’t written my code geass fanfic in three years and i keep getting likes on it, and i recently started rewatching it again (breaking my “rewatch once a decade rule” gasp) and i was thinking if i should continue
but i suck at writing fluff and now it’s fluff time in the story
should i continue it then? it might be a nice challenge to try and write something cute for once
something that your character thinks can't apply to them
information mentioned when they're talking about something else
doing something for thing x that then becomes relevant in situation y
a character avoiding avoid a topic
having characters who look alike but not drawing attention to it (e.g., two characters introduced five chapters apart who have red hair in a world where red hair is unusual)
some dnd backstory ideas that give your character a reason to leave home that isn’t “everyone in my family died.” (just to say: i have nothing against those backstories (i use them a lot), but its fun to mix it up!)
family/friends/personal
someone close to you is sick. you need to adventure to find a cure
someone stole something important from you and you need to find it
you’ve received a message from a long lost relative and are trying to find them
someone that you love has been kidnapped (maybe you have to earn money to pay a ransom or complete some deed…)
adventuring runs in the family! everyone is expected to complete one quest in their lives
your family/culture sends people out to complete certain tasks when they reach a certain age as a rite of passage
another player’s character saved you in the past so you feel indebted to them and travel with them, protecting/aiding them
there’s a magical drought in your hometown and you have to fix it
your hometown doesn’t have a lot of jobs so you have to travel and send money back home
some childhood friends and you made a “scavenger hunt” where you try and complete a checklist of certain tasks (ie. defeat a barbarian in hand to hand combat, steal x amount of gold, slay a dragon, etc) in an allotted amount of time
quests/jobs
a god/patron has sent you on a quest to do something for them
you’ve been hired by someone to complete a task (and you get sucked into the big adventure along the way)
you’re on a quest for knowledge. maybe it’s to learn the best ways of fighting, maybe it’s something more academic related
your priest received a vision from your god and they sent you on a quest
you’re writing a book about the world and different cultures and you need first hand experience
you’ve found every map you’ve come across is shitty, so you decide to become a cartographer and make your own
you’re a detective who helps solve crimes and need to travel to solve a particular case
you’re a collector of a certain object and travel across the land to find it
you’re apart of an adventuring academy and have to complete a quest to graduate
you’re an artisan and you travel with your wares, trying to sell them. alternatively, you’re trying to spread word of your business and gain new business partners
you worked at a tavern your whole life where an old bard would sing songs of their adventuring party and that inspired you to go and do some adventuring of your own
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Hello, everyone, welcome to my commission page! I decided to take writing commissions as i'm jobless and in need of financial help for my dental care funds (at least $360). If you're curious about my situation, you can read my donation post here ♡
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dendrobiums.
scaramouche x gn!reader (angst, no comfort, argument)
prompt #14: "you don't love me, do you?"
this is an entry for @versadies writing collab farewell love!!
you had known kunikuzushi for a long time, but not long enough, as it seems he holds secrets to himself he doesn't wish to share with you, his companion, his lover. you believe that upon being cursed with immortality, you've seen it all; the woe and joy that the people around you experience.
though, seeing him distressed and quiet as of late caused your heart to twinge with an inexplicable searing pain. living in a peaceful house isolated within the heavenly fields of inazuma, you found it hard not to feel lonely sometimes, with kunikuzushi being oddly silent.
your kimono fluttered in the light wind that blew, causing the blades of grass to bend under its command. despite your lover's strange nature, you decided to be patient with him, as you always are. vibrant dendrobiums filled the basket you cradled in your arm, planning on gifting them to kunikuzushi who's been cooped up in the house.
a lovely smile adorned your lips akin to vibrant flower petals as you walked back to the house. lately, the air was menacing, as if no one lived in the small cottage you reside in with him. the cottage was perched on a cliff above water, cutting off the bustle of the nation from your peaceful life with him. you close the door behind you and peer into the hallway around the corner.
the door at the end was agape, where you assumed he was laying in bed again. entering the shinshitsu, you greeted him with a, "good evening, kuni." before sitting on the futon, back facing his figure. a few moments of silence passed.
"i picked dendrobiums for you. i know you're not a big fan of flowers but they were blooming so beautifully and... i thought you'd like them." you meekly commented, fingertips grazing against the flower's stem. "kuni-" you turned around and in an instant he was on top of you, pinning you to the futon as the basket of dendrobiums fell to the side, spilling its contents across the floor.
your pupils dilated. his grip on your wrists tightened but you didn't mind it at first; he would never hurt you. "kunikuzushi?" you repeated, in a hushed voice this time. he finally looked into your eyes after what seemed like an eternity.
those electric violet eyes that you've come to love, filled with such hatred.
"do not fool me. why are you here?" kunikuzushi interrogated, teeth gritting together. "just to love and abandon me, is that it? are you staying longer for the pleasure in knowing how much it will hurt when you finally leave?" tears released from his angry glare that landed on your cheek. "i'm here because i love you." you simply replied.
kunikuzushi clenched his jaw. "i said, don't lie." his nails began to dig into the skin of your wrists and at that, you felt your heart rate slightly quicken. "why would i be lying, kunikuzushi?" you breathed out. "you never tell me anything."
at that statement, kunikuzushi's eyes widened. "what do you- what do you mean?" he asked, his grasp loosening but refusing to release. "do you doubt me that much?" you queried with a trembling voice, a tear slipping from your eye and falling onto the futon.
"what happened to you, kunikuzushi? what did they do to you?"
"shut up. you don't know what you're talking about." he whispered, more tears beginning to fall from his eyes. he let go and backed away from you as you sat up, following him out of the room. "you need to tell me something! anything!-" kunikuzushi ignored your protests and covered his ears, "you wouldn't understand. you never understand!"
you paused, "you've never touched me once, don't you know?" he stopped in his tracks. "you never look at me. you haven't done a single thing since we began this hell of a relationship where we promised we'd give each other the affection we never had!" you panted, voice straining to keep a loud volume.
you were afraid he would run away from your inquiries again, from letting you know why he's so distant after years of being with you. that's when you realized, there was only one possibility left.
"you don't love me do you?"
he visibly tensed up. your eyes filled to the brim with more tears bound to escape. all he has to do is say those three words you never heard him tell you before, and you'll be fine. you'll continue to live under the same roof with your lover, who may not tell you everything, but still adores you.
if only that were the case for poor you. poor you, who was victim to the hurtful words he spouted at you, telling you that you're right, he doesn't love you. he supposes he just used you as some sort of mental stability from the people he's met in the past. he supposes that he considered none of this real from the very beginning.
you stood there, hands by your sides as hot tears continuously poured down your face with your mouth slightly agape. oh, the truth hurts, doesn't it?
"love you? i absolutely loathe you, (y/n)." kunikuzushi finished off, shoulders rising and falling with each heavy exhale he took.
a little later, kunikuzushi took a walk to clear his mind. his half-lidded hues flitted across inazuma's heavenly welkin, a gut-wrenching feeling weighing within him. the sun was beginning to set, and he comes to a conclusion. he should learn to let go of the past by now and he'll start with you. you, who have been nothing but patient and gentle with him, you, who never left despite the cold shoulder he gave.
yes, it's always been you. you're the source of his happiness, the reason he wishes to arise to another morning. kunikuzushi feels guilty for what he said earlier and decides to make it up to you by picking dendrobiums, much like the ones you gifted him earlier that he so rudely threw away.
with a hopeful smile gracing his features, he walks through the grass to pick very specific dendrobiums all the while making sure they were perfect from top to bottom, fit for his lover.
kunikuzushi's hands were soiled with the dirt from the ground yet he didn't mind, just as long as he had you waiting for him at home. he sighs out with a grin, rushing to the front door. as he opens it, a strange thought settles in the back of his mind.
the aura seemed a little emptier than usual, but he shrugged it off as the fact that the two of you left off at a bad mood. kunikuzushi was more than ready to apologize, his smile faltering to a smaller one as he realizes you'd probably be mad at him, though he'd understand.
because it doesn't matter, because you'll still stay. to think that you'll be the first person that doesn't betray him still takes him aback sometimes and now, he's ready to accept it.
"my love, i've returned." the nickname sounds a little odd at first, rolling off of his tongue; kunikuzushi hasn't called you an endearment like that, ever. he rounds a corner and makes his way down the hall to the shinshitsu. when he slides the shoji doors open, he drops his flowers but quickly picks them back up.
"(y-y/n)?" he stutters out, gaze anxiously darting about the room as he searches for your presence. how long has he been out for? maybe one, two hours? where could you have gone in all that time? this is when he begins to panic.
kunikuzushi leaves the room and searches all over the house. "(y/n)!" he calls again in a more desperate voice. not now, not yet. he runs outside, panting as he tries to get to the city. stay, for just a little bit longer, he pleads within his mind, hoping to catch sight of you.
you promised...
dodging past hordes of people, he catches a glimpse of you at the docks. kunikuzushi's eyes grow wide in realization. he recollects himself and manages to escape the crowd. his hand reaches for your figure.
"excuse me?"
"huh?" you look up at the man before you who called. "o-oh, nevermind. i thought i saw someone." he stammered, rubbing his neck. you nod your head and enter the boat where you cross paths with your close friend, beidou.
you can see the visible frown on her lips. "you sure you wanna' leave, kid? i mean, it's great you want to continue traveling with the crux again like you used to, but-" you stop her short, "it's alright, beidou. but i appreciate your concern."
you sigh through your nose, giving inazuma a sorrow glance. you'll never forget the lovely puppet you met. the lovely, yet misunderstood puppet.
and that very puppet you were thinking of couldn't do it. he stayed behind a wall, akin to a coward. would things have ended differently if he learned to control his emotions? would you still be in the cottage embracing him in your arms?
he clutches the dendrobiums in his hands, his rigid nails digging into the stems as he thinks about all of these possibilities. kunikuzushi returns to the home he once shared with you with a heavy heart.
upon arrival, he drops the flowers. tears start pouring and in just a few moments, does he start crying like he did those countless nights and for more to come now that you've realized what he truly is.
nothing but a ghastly monster that takes your kindness for granted.
kunikuzushi cries and cries, his body failing him as he falls to his knees. the poor puppet's tears land onto the withering dendrobiums as night covers the whole of inazuma. "i didn't mean it, i didn't," he sobs, recalling the way you looked so harmed by his words.
"i didn't mean anything, i'm sorry," he apologizes to no one in particular, but the wind replies, for it tousles his hair and causes his face to dry, only for more tears to continue dripping. kunikuzushi supposes this is the way it was always going to be like. none of those betrayals were really his fault now, were they?
it's because he can't handle abandonment, and all he wants is to be loved. when he enters the empty bedroom and lays onto the futon, eyes sore from crying, he thinks about a specific time.
the time when you loved him, and always fought for his attention.
"kuni, look!" you presented him a dendrobium, "isn't it pretty? it's pretty just like you!" you happily chirped, walking by his side. kunikuzushi stayed silent as he looked around; anywhere but your gaze. you avoided a frown from placing itself on your lips.
"h-hey, what do you think of nature? it's fascinating, isn't it?" you asked, tilting your head as an attempt to view his expression. blank.
kunikuzushi hisses at the memory, resenting himself for constantly ignoring your obvious yet somewhat subtle acts of affection. fresh tears peek at the corner of his eyes.
"kuni, i bought you dango from the market! i don't know if you like it, but you can always try!"
"i don't."
you stammer, "h-huh?" kunikuzushi emphasizes, "i don't like desserts. they rot the teeth." he mumbled the end of the sentence and your shoulders sink, "oh, i see. well, that's perfectly reasonable!" you laugh it off with that signature smile of yours.
kunikuzushi closes his eyes. he'd do anything to go back to that moment. he would've told you that it was his favourite thing in the world to eat; dango. kunikuzushi wishes he didn't pretend he never saw the desserts that rotted in the trash that you bought or made just for him.
at that, he begins to wonder what your baking tasted like. you often did it for him...
"kuni? i only realized yesterday that, um, you never told me your birthday and i feel a bit bad for not noticing sooner. so i made you a cake to make up for all the ones i missed!" you said with a smile. all of the hope in your eyes dissipates when he looks at you in disgust.
kunikuzushi sighed, "eat it yourself. don't you ever listen to what i say? i hate sweets."
the next morning, a dark cloud hangs above the puppet's head. he believes he has no purpose without you. he tends to try and convince himself that he resents you, but can never bring himself to do it when he knows the truth he hides deep down.
when he joins the fatui and becomes scaramouche, there are only two reasons he continues to push on further. to steal the gnosis for a heart of his own so he may finally apply to love you again.
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