samureik

I cant believe this is actually john mulaney and not a parody blog created for the sole purpose of making this shitpost

do you ever think about the fact that like…. there’s rocks that were used to build castles that have since fallen and there’s rocks that have been launched in catapults and there’s rocks that have been used to kill people and they’re All Still Here like. some of them have probably eroded down and a few have become sand but the same atoms are in the same order carrying the same history. and we’ll probably never know it all! even the rocks don’t know!!

there’s a rock out there that’s had the blood of ancient kings spilled on it, that’s served as the foundation for old mead halls, that’s been catapulted over an enemy defense wall. and does the rock care? no!!!! homeboy’s just sitting in a field letting moss grow on and around him!!!! goals!!!!!

Always relevant

book legolas is pretty cool but film legolas reminds me of one of those incredibly beautiful, incredibly stupid long haired pedigree dogs that you sometimes see in grooming parlours having their claws painted purple. like you could just pick him up and look into his eyes and there would be nothing going on behind them. film legolas has the elvish version of elevator music playing in his head at all times and i honestly love it

these puppets are more real than real people

THIS BITCH DISNEY TRIED IT WITH “DÍA DE LOS MUERTOS” TOO

PLOT twist, stephanie beatriz is the real life amy of the show

Great. Now I’m disappointing Mr. Rogers.

This single post made me feel so great. I’m very self concious about my voice 🖤 Thank you