becoming

i’m not really a fan of the idea that “you can’t buy consent.” i think we can observe where consent is purchased everywhere in our economic system. the problem, i think, doesn’t rest in delineating what “real” or “fake” consent is. the problem is that, as a culture under free market capitalism, there is a belief that consent precludes exploitation or harm. if i am cut with a knife for a sexual thrill, i will bleed and require some manner of medical attention/intervention, even if i provided “enthusiastic consent.” people who, like, buy into the ideology of kink, for example, tend to believe the presence of abuse or harm is negated by consent. the act of being cut by a knife for a sexual thrill is no longer harmful, despite the blood drawn, despite the necessary medical intervention, because i agreed to be cut. we are being asked to ignore harm, violence, abuse, and power dynamics if both parties like or agree to the act. drawing a line between what “enthusiastic consent” or “coerced consent” is doesn’t provide a path out from this trap, i think.

“I can say with great certainty and absolute honesty that I did not know what love was until I knew what love was not.”