Hello!

Need this.

Of course

I just won $500 off a scratch Ticket lottery.

ENERGY

do i have any weird followers that want to transfer me money for absolutely no reason at all

my big idea for a superhero movie is that one scene in thor ragnarok where matt damon has a cameo but it’s all the time. you have your ensemble cast of up and coming actors nobody recognizes but literally every single extra is a household name. the protagonist goes to a coffee shop and the barista is chris evans. they turn on the news and the anchor is mark hamill talking to correspondent daniel radcliffe. the final battle happens and the group of civilians the protagonist has to save is just the cast of love actually. cate blanchett has an after credits scene where she asks the protagonist for an autograph, addressed to her real name, cate blanchett. at no point does anyone acknowledge this.

I work in hotels/resorts, and honestly, take the little shampoos and soaps! We throw them away when you leave (we don’t know if you’ve opened them and messed with them or whatever, so for health and safety it all goes in the trash) If you stay at the fancier places or chains, they’ve actually done some bit of thought into the scents for the toiletries, in that if you use them while at home you’ll remember the time you stayed at the hotel and be more likely to return. Just don’t take the towels or the robes or any of that shit, it’s expensive.

This is true, all soaps, shampoos, and the like are tossed after a guest checks out of the hotel even if it’s clearly unopened because it is considered a health hazard violation in most places if they’re left there. If someone were to somehow get sick from it, a hotel can be shut down. Just take the toiletries, they’re ordered in bulk as is and only cost the hotel a few dollars to order them by the hundreds

And even if you don’t use them, you can donate them to your local homeless shelter or other similar charity and give someone something they could use that would otherwise go to waste.

PLEASE TAKE THE SOAPS. PLEASE DONATE THE SOAPS. It’s one of the biggest requests shelters/supply banks get. You want to make their fucking day? Show up with socks, undies, diapers, and toiletries.

I know for a fact I’ve told this story on here before but I’ll never get over the time when I was working retail and I was cashing out some lady so I asked “cash, debit or credit how are you paying, ma’am?” And she said “that’s none of your business.” And demanded to speak to my manager about my invasive question

There are some people in my life I wish I had hugged a little longer.

this video is fuckin ancient and i honestly forgot how funny it was

I always forget how funny this is until I watch it again and die laughing!

Oh gosh, I forgot this was a thing!

The guy on the left doing his darndest not to laugh, then he breaks for the kangaroo

Harry woke up at 3 am, wrote this, and went back to sleep.

New best reply.

Wisest words of this century

This is the realist shit ever spoke

i love amy schumer

A Beauty and the Beast AU where Belle realizing she loves Beast isn’t at some dramatic climactic event but during some randome everyday moment. Like, she’s filing her nails and just kinda glances up at him and he’s like doing something just as dull and it just kinda dawns on her that she loves him but she doesn’t voice it cause she isn’t exactly ready to confront thoes emotions and what they mean so she goes back to filing her nails but then is starts raining glitter and Beast is defying gravity in a glowing ball of light and the castle is changing back and everyone becomes human again. Then everyone is left in silent moment of shock and confusion and Belle, being completely unaware of what it takes to break the curse, is just staring around in horror while everyone freshly humanized comes running into whatever room she and Beast were in (probably the library) expecting to see something other than human Beast in a heap on the ground and Belle across the room in a chair frozen in shock and confusion and everyone just kinda looks at each other for a couple of seconds not realy sure what to say cause nobody is entirely sure what happened other than the curse was broken. Then Beast finaly gets up and looks around and realizes what this means and looks at Belle and is just like “you love me?” And Belle is just like “wat?”