Sakura Sepuku

May sound counter intuitive, but I hope to just be able to do what I can. 

In previous years, I set high expectations, hopes and wishes, only to end up feeling disappointed, and like a failure for not achieving. And so I thought to change the strategy a little, and since it hasn’t really worked the setting high expectations, and then feeling guilty and sad for not, thought this time to set the minimal expectation which is taking care of myself, surviving the unstable economical panorama and such.

Life is made of little nothings, like a collection of fractals that put together give a very abstract structure which may make no sense but it just is.  So many little nothings that one fails to appreciate sometimes...

Like those little nothings that pets do, like rolling into a ball, eating, biting a curtain, running, things which one may not notice until they can no longer do it... Like Chiki here, she got arthritis, at first it was impossible for her to lay on her bed to sleep for the pain in the back and the paws and the hips, but thanks to the treatment she can now sleep, even roll into a ball sometimes, I never thought that seeing a dog rolling into a ball could become something so amazing and important to me, but now it does, meaning that she can tolerate the pain or has gained mobility now, before that, it was just a little nothing.

Or those little things one finds on the way, like being able to shop things that one likes. Unexpected nice things, or things with discounts. (And a fur friend inspecting the shoppings bags or to share the items with.)

And people like me, we are like those little nothings that happen in the lives of others wether they notice or not, wether they appreciate it or not, maybe they will when we are gone or not, but it doesn’t matter, that is ok, we are just like the trees, the clouds, and the wind.