Almost finished the first book of the fourth wing series, but I have to get this off my chest.

SPOILER WARNING!!!!!

Violet.....

Dain LITERALLY told you that if he touches your face he can read your mind....

And you've just been letting this mf caress your face every time you see him?!

Like I get that, like if I hug a friend every time I see them, I'm not going to stop doing that just because they told me they could read my mind with a hug. But I'd at least hesitate! Or be aware!

But MADAM, it wasn't until you got forced into a situation where you had to accept that he read your mind and has been plotting did it occur to you that he's been reading your mind

The same man who quite literally said he wouldn't have broken the rules to save your life! Also the same man who didn't believe your word over the word of the woman who arranged your assassination until it was confirmed. Mind you, she dated him in the past for a little while, but you're supposedly his best friend since childhood, and he still didn't believe you! He was about to forcibly read your mind and that was the only time you noticed that he WOULD do that.

And since then you what? Forgot he could do that? Still been letting this mf touch your face like he has a touch of tism?

When I began my path in druidry, it was 2018. After witchcraft, African religions and some folk ways of conjure, I found myself disappointed.

I didn’t know why there were no spells to make things happen. Of course, some seasonal rites made sense and looked familiar to me. But then the more I dug into it, the more deeply I understood that it was not for me. I remember that time and think about how I was wrong.

Deepening into goal-oriented systems, bit by bit I lost connection to my own responsibilities in real life. If I needed something - I put a spell and did a little to make sure that I was doing something. That led me to a state of mind, where I lived in systematic offerings, prayers and spells. Escapism as it is. Time after time I returned to druidic studies, but just couldn’t understand where in such a system I could find myself. Without spells and sugaring my life.

But some cases made me sure that spell-casting magic doesn't work like clockwork. Some girl among my friends went to witches and asked for protection for her boyfriend who went to war. The next day he was dead, but witchy girls told her nonsense.

After some time, some girl came to me and asked to cleanse her from the curse. I tried, but this attempt cost me so much more. Time after time, she returned and told me that the spell didn’t work. After a few months we just hated each other, and were on the edge of insanity. At that time she walked around many witches and magicians to break up the curse. But I later understood that she was insane. After some time she began stalking me and scheming to bring breakups with my friends.

And there is no time when I don’t hear about some disappointed person whose hopes crash in the matter of spellcasting.

Spell may work only in some cases - if it is constructive, self-made, and when the agent of change is the person themself. At the core of such changes lie many inner mechanisms from inspiration to narrative and symbols of magical operation. But I understand that magic doesn't have wondrous solutions, rescues from ashes and so on. It's a form of “proto-psychotherapy” but not more. I had 14 years to explore many traditions to understand this simple truth. Of course, if I cast a spell to find money and do some progress of work - evidently I will catch my cash.

That all may sound uncharming, but I understand that ordeal form of magic much more safely. There are no concrete promises, just general experience that changes the mindset for making changes. Magic is not an agent of change, it is a supporting mechanism for it. I saw thelemites, trad wiccans, some tradwitches and druids that have such opinions.

I was never so permissive. Sometimes I think about the first thing that hurted me, and normally, I would stop there and never look at you again.