Your Friendly Neighborhood Gay Vampire

birds are so privileged for being able to sit on top of street lamps and judge people. i wish i was up there

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.

it does more harm than good to prop up the myth of the ‘neurotypical’ who completes tasks cheerfully with no issues. this person is a capitalist fantasy. the more you define yourself in comparison to this myth the more you justify social structures staying the same with minor accommodations to the ‘exceptions’ and the continued pathologizing of discomfort under hostile conditions

i have a suggestion

Undulates anguilliformly at you to confuse and threaten you with my highly maneuverable body

call his pussy british the way that I’m innit

i think something a lot of people don't get is that years of mocking your child, even in jest, does in fact tend to get under their skin

a decade or two of even light verbal harassment is very much accentuated when it's an authority figure you are in every meaningful way subservient to