I think I’ve officially lost every part of me that made me an artist, I can’t draw or even doodle without getting self conscious and disappointed in myself, and it’s been getting progressively worse over the last 7 years

I spent 4 hours this morning trying to draw something that was in my head, that I’d been thinking about and conceptualizing mentally for weeks, and all it did was make me angry for thinking it was worth trying

realized I’d been photo dumping only on instagram but today marks a full week at the new job! I think, for the first time, it’s extremely visible how happy I am

all the staff is so kind and welcoming (and needless to say bc library) in a similar political alignment so I don’t have to worry about masking my beliefs + morals

literally the only downside/stressful part is the commute which, if you’ve ever been to downtown Nashville, you know is a shitshow

only posting this wip here because this blog is essentially dead due to depression and if I post anywhere else I’ll get self conscious