Good Night You Sweet And Ugly Prince

@bug-with-rock

people who are like "but with universal healthcare you'll have to pay taxes!!! Up to 8%!!!" Are so funny. Like as opposed to the 16% of my gross paycheck that goes to private insurance, that won't cover shit unless i call my insurance company, then my doctor, then my pharmacy, then my doctor again because theyre pretty sure insurance got approved then my insurance company because they didn't get the letter, then my doctor again, then the pharmacy again, and then the copay i still am on the hook for.

i still don’t understand what the difference is between a strike and a ball ❤️

Heartwarming! Man pissing on subway stairs genders you correctly, mortified he was doing that in front of a woman

baby's first everything ever

Don't skip the final step! Do a search on your new character name to make sure it's not an egregiously offensive slur in some real human language.

putting ketchup on fries is too permanent for me … i have to dip . i control the sauce

"trump dying won't fix fascism" neither would a big steamy bowl of pad thai but I still want it

I keep hearing nearby footsteps but theyre not of humanoid gait so i pay them no mind cus all beasts are friendly towards me due to rapport ive built with various animal clans

sometimes you trap a male false black widow under a cup in the middle of the night because he was roaming around on your ceiling looking for female spider pheromones and then his harmless dumb ass fell straight onto your bed so you had to contain him because you were tired and wanted to sleep. and sometimes that spider is no longer in that cup the next morning. as haunting as it is his determination is honestly kinda inspiring. chase your dreams little man hope you get spider laid

so, I hadn’t seen him since he escaped from his cup prison the other day (I did, however, find a ridiculously tiny vampire bite mark on my tummy— it did not swell or itch, like I said, he’s harmless), and I came home today to find ants swarming my bathroom. and there he was, following the trail and making a meal of em. He really got his revenge by biting me (pathetically) and then made an effort to prove his worth. I think we’re basically best friends now

overhearing my neighbor rant on the phone top of his lungs and his friend is saying something in calm voice and he goes NO. NO NUANCE. STOP SAYING NUANCE. MY BOSS NEEDS TO DIE

is this happening because i was born