anna 🐦‍⬛

Dude is vulgar and lewd like 99 percent of the time but the first time after Doumeki tries sucking him off he feels he's being weird and awkward and he's totally evasing what he really wants to ask instead of straight up asking, "so.... you sucked my dick.... what's up with that???"

Dude is hyper sexual but when Doumeki hides him in his apartment he sees him come out the shower NAKED and thinks he's so hot he dramatically flops to the floor and teases his subordinate on the phone. U also see its hard for him to even make eye contact with Doumeki.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟒:

𝐓𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞

Richard Siken

It has been quite a long time since I thought about writing down my thoughts about Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai, manga by Japanese author Yoneda Kou. I believe I’m not a skilled enough writer and I am not always very good at organizing ideas in a coherent way; I usually prefer having conversations, more than writing in isolation. Talking to people about this particular story irl can be hard though, especially if they lack time or don’t share the same level of interest; even harder when that conversation is going to include sensitive and explicit topics or the subject matter is largely considered in a category adjacent to p****graphy. Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai is in fact a bl manga and includes many staples of the type, yet at the same time is able to subvert or rework most of them. On a superficial level you have what you could be expecting in a bl manga: you are quickly introduced to the two  - very attractive - main characters that physically embody perfectly the uke and the seme roles; you have recurrent explicit sex scenes, although they don’t always happen between the two main characters; everybody can be “gay on occasion”, even if the story is set around the underworld of the yakuza; there is rape as backstory, and so on. Except nothing is gratuitous, but, rather, every element is there because characters and story call for it. The majority of the explicit scenes aren’t arousing, but quite crude or even painful to watch/read, but, due to the nature of the story being told, showing them is meaningful and necessary to understand the protagonist and his excruciating journey. Sex, sexual trauma, declinations of one’s sexuality are topics that can’t seem to find an open place for people, especially women, to discuss - or develop stories to further elaborate on - without some kind of censorship or exploitation. But sometimes it can be managed, like in this case.

Unpopular opinion? Or not? The thing that stood out to me, and I especially think the visuals emphasize this, is that Yashiro made the decision out of his own will. Yashiro's agency is apparent in this chapter, regardless of others' opinions and perspectives. He surrendered to his own feelings and Doumeki's out of his own accord.

This will be a bit of a rant but people seriously need to stop using their preferences for a story as an excuse to call it bad writing. That is so utterly offensive and if we are talking about Yoneda Kou in specific, there's no fundamental evidence for that.

There is, in fact, bad writing out there, but Sensei is impeccable on how the narrative is connected by the tools chosen to convey the actions of each character accordingly. She's not an average creator.

We are free to openly disagree with the events in an ongoing story, but in this case it must be admitted that this is simply related to the outcomes being different from what was expected instead of blaming everything as bad writing. People need to swallow their frustrations and take responsibility for either that or their inability to understand what's going on in the plot.

And just to conclude: Saezuru's central theme is that "people are full of contractions".

Kamiya can have internalised homofobia and still sympathise with Doumeki.

Amou can envy the relationship between Misumi and Yashiro and still respect and care about Yashiro.

Nanahara can see the yakuza as family, but still keep his loyalty to Yashiro −who is not properly in the organisation anymore.

Misumi can see Yashiro as his son/successor while also mistreating and objectifying him.

Tsunakawa can be suspicious of everyone and still envy those who receive devotion.

Doumeki can be madly in love with Yashiro while completely aware of the obsessive tone of his feelings.

Yashiro can sacrifice himself for Doumeki while also using this as an escape for facing his fear of change and acceptance.

The feelings and actions of characters can coexist. Even the contradictory one.

Time flew by, and we already have the previews for the next chapter. Yashiro has been reflecting on what Doumeki confessed to him, and it's time to take action.

“What’s right…” “…and what’s wrong…”

“Because you were there, I decided to keep living.”

“I don’t care if people think I’m irrational or the worst kind of person.”

“I wanted to become a man who could hold your shoulders in these arms.”

Meanwhile, Doumeki is dealing with his own issues in front of Tsunakawa. It's time to confess the truth about joining the yakuza. God help him, haha.

I… is where I belong… where I’ll keep living.

To move forward, we must first unravel the threads of fate. Both group leaders won't be very happy with these rebellious offspring.

I saw this scene from Princess Mononoke circulating around on Twitter and it reminded me of Yashiro and Doumeki so I had to draw it heheh ♡

Yashiro's painful existence

Yashiro's trauma has put him in constant pain. A pain so deep he wanted to end it all. Has he ever been happy or at least content, I don't think so. Is he happy or content now, I don't know if he can let his pain go easily. It is familiar, a constant like his heartbeat. Doumeki who had been the only light in his darkness was pushed away because he couldn't accept him being pulled into that darkness and he wasn't ready to step out of it. If he had died Doumeki could live a normal life and his pain would be over. I hope he now realizes that Doumeki wants to give him the love he has always yearned for. His life doesn't have to be empty. Maybe he can heal from his painful past. It is not a mother's love or the teenage love he yearned for. It is the mature love between two adults who found each other under difficult circumstances and it is still strongly felt. The dynamics are different, but the other way would have only caused more pain. Doumeki is in his world now where he wanted to be. Don't bear the weight of his decision.