Slipping Away

i hate how i lost you. not in the way of never talking to you again, but losing you in the way of never being able to say you’re mine. the day you called, i panicked, i haven’t heard from you in months. but you have no idea how relieved i was seeing your name on my phone. i knew you needed a time away from everything, it only hurt as much as it did because you left without a trace. you don’t tell me you need a break, you just fucking leave. but i can’t be angry, you needed it. when you told me how you and your girlfriend got together. i don’t think you realize how much it broke me. you didn’t understand why i was crying on the phone. i mean, even i didn’t understand at first. until i figured it out, i am still in love with you. and what hurts the most, was before her, it was the idea of me and you. you told me you wanted US to work out, and that you didn’t want to waste your time, and i agreed. but in the end, you wasted my time, my energy, me wasting my love and affection on someone who ended up not even wanting me. as much as i hate you for it, i can’t lose you. even if i’m just considered your best friend, no matter how much this shit crushes me. you deserve to finally be happy, even if that means i’m not the reason why you’re happy.