i ~

tired in a way that sleep doesn't fix

I should've died years ago. Anything I do now is pointless.

at this point, sinking back into my depression is like a warm hug. finding comfort in this is sadness is so natural. i know i was meant to feel this.

I have nobody I can talk to. Nobody who actually gets it. Nobody who is self aware. Nobody who won’t judge me or betray what I say. It’s one of the most crushing parts of this. It’s not just being alone. It’s trying to talk and it landing flat. Feeling worse after. Starting to think there’s no point in reaching out at all.

bpd culture is feeling a little bit unwanted and immediately shutting down and isolating from everyone even though you know all it does is make things even worse

"Leave first before they leave me" mentality because in the end, my inner child is just scared that someone will leave me all over again.