Alone in the city of love

Probably the best decision I made

Alone in the city of love

It's Like falling apart

Like dozens of Blocks are ripped Out of the structure until the whole, careful constructed House collaoses.

Not Like a Cup being tipped Off the Edge. But Like a building shattered by an earthquake.

It is probably one of the strongest Feelings I ever felt.

Sometimes feels too bitte. I Take too much, don’t belong, don't deserve to Take Up that much Space. I'm Not worthy of using it, someone could fill it so much better.

Sometimes feels too little. I can barely breath, barely move. I'm trapped and can’t get Out. The walls seem to move and the people are too close. I need to shrink to fit.

I came back for the smell of rain.

For the Joy that fills you with the first Drops

For the happiness it brings the relief after the drought.

I came back for the Sound of laughter.

An orchestra of voices streaming out of an Open window.

Overlapping voices and words, building the greatest music.

I came back for the Color of the sky.

The bluest Blue i've ever Seen.

Even the clouds seem whiter, greyer.

The unexpected changed, from one Minute to the next.

I came back for the Taste of the Air.

Newly mowed Grass, fresh baked cookies, food from foreign places.

The warm, dry breeze from the Plains, the Woody, wet air from the forests.

I came back for the feeling of home.

Raindrops and Wind brushes. River water and Hot Springs.

Hugs and embraces. A blankets wrapped around me. Branches in my back. Soft Grass and Sharp Stones under my feet.